


The Manual

by aserene



Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M, Gibbs Slap, Gibbs' Rules, Protective Jethro Gibbs, Team Dynamics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:27:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 59,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23683120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aserene/pseuds/aserene
Summary: Summary: Gibbs finds the ‘Holy Grail’ of manuals and acts on it.Inspired by:What is it you want from me, Harm?" ~Mac"Operating instructions would be nice. "~HarmJAG Episode “A Tangled Webb, Part II”
Relationships: Jethro Gibbs/Jenny Shepard
Comments: 11
Kudos: 47





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not in any way own NCIS. The guide was sent to me in one of those chain emails, and the inspiration for this is from JAG actually.  
> Spoilers: Season 3-5 is fair game

Leroy Jethro Gibbs was incensed. He considered himself a rather patient man; he hadn’t killed DiNozzo after five years after all. It usually took a lot to get him to the homicidal point, a couple of head slaps, or Gibbs’ glares would shut anyone up who dared to push him past his boundaries. But SHE wasn’t anyone. SHE was his irritating, ambitious, manipulative, secret-keeping, sexy, intelligent, knew him too well, Boss. And it was only this woman who had ever made him go from calm to insane in two seconds or less. He couldn’t decide if he wanted to rattle her or throw her across her desk and make love to her. This wasn’t just a recent development, she’d always had this effect on him, and six years ago, he knew which side he usually chose; however, that was before she became Director of NCIS. Now throwing her across her desk would probably not be in his best interest health-wise. (Did he forget to mention she had excellent aim?) 

He wasn’t even really sure why he was angry with her. No doubt she had done something that had proved she should have stayed a field agent, and he probably rubbed it in her face and took it for granted. Or she actually had the answers where he had none. He wasn’t entirely sure, but it had been this way since she had started as Director, and he was hoping that eventually, it would just come to a stop. Three years in, and it hadn’t. 

It was therefore very unfortunate that upon leaving the Director’s office and returning to his desk, he found his team shuffling around trying to avoid looking at him, but at the same time trying to get his attention.

“WHAT?” 

“Uh, Boss…the problem,” DiNozzo began.

“Fix it.”

“We uh can’t,” Ziva added.

“McGee! Fix it.”

“I can’t Boss, neither can Abby. We kinda sort of need…”

“Need me to do it?”

“No, Boss,” Tony sighed. “We need the Director’s signature.” 

“Well, then go and get it!” Gibbs snapped, having no desire to grovel at her feet for her signature. He did not grovel; she would come around to his way of thinking! 

“Boss…she’s…”

“We think it would be better coming from the team leader,” Ziva interrupted her teammates. She would never admit that she had no desire to go toe to toe with Jenny after what she had heard through the walls. 

“Give me the damn thing,” he ordered, holding his hand out. The team did and were surprised that he was actually going to go back upstairs. They were shocked as he signed the form himself and then handed it back, saying he was going to check in with Abby. The team stared at the form that very clearly said, Jennifer M. Shepard. 

“What does the M stand for?” Tony inquired, ignoring the fact his Boss had just signed the Director’s name.

“I…” Ziva fell silent as she noticed the same woman walking down the stairs. “Tony!” She hissed, trying to get him to hide the paper, but it was too late.

“Agent DiNozzo, don’t you have work to do?”

“Ah yes, going right back to that Madame, err Ma’am. Director…” Tony quickly hurried back to his desk. 

“Abby called and said you needed me to sign something.”

“Oh, it's been taken care of by the Director,” Ziva said, hoping she would ask beyond that. 

“Say, Director?” Tony began seeing his golden opportunity.

“DiNozzo.”

“What does M stand for?”

“The M in what?”

“Ah…the signature…” 

“What signature?” She demanded. She noticed McGee holding the paper above a shredder. “Hand it over, McGee!”

“Director, it was just a rough copy, I’m sure the Boss…” McGee was cut off as she grabbed the sheet and glanced down at the signature that was definitely not hers.

“He’s dead” Was all she said before running the sheet through the shredder herself and going back to her office, her door slamming just a little bit harder. Gibbs came back moments later, looking for the sheet.

“Where’s the paper?”

“The Director shredded it,“ Ziva answered. “She also said you’re dead.”

“Ziva, you don’t make friends by tattling on the Boss!” Tony warned.

“But I’m guessing the only reason she found out is that you said something, isn’t that right, DiNozzo?”

“Boss, it wasn’t like that!” Tony protested, receiving an extra hard head slap. 

“I made a new copy, Boss,” McGee said, holding out the freshly printed page. Gibbs marched back up there, mainly to tell Jenny to keep out of his case and away from his team, but he’d make sure she signed the damn piece of paper too. As he reached her door, Cynthia was already protesting but was cut off by the intercom.

“Let him in Cynthia.” Both Gibbs and Cynthia were surprised, and the younger woman sat down quickly and shut her mouth. Gibbs hesitantly entered the office and found Jenny at her desk looking perfectly calm. He was slightly puzzled by this. She should be yelling at him, not calm. “Shut the door, Jethro.”

He closed it gently. She beckoned him to sit in front of her and told him she’d be right with him as soon as she finished. She removed her glasses five minutes later, surprised he had sat so quietly. 

“Now, what is it you need?”

“Director, I don’t appreciate you interfering in my investigations.”

“We’ve been over this, suck it up,” she responded. He was completely floored by this turn around in her attitude. Either she was on something, or he really didn’t understand her at all. “Now, what do you want from me?”

“Operating instructions would be nice,” he muttered before clearing his throat and replying, “A signature.”  
“Well, I’ll see what I can do.” She held out her hand for the paper, and he turned it over. She read over it carefully, hiding her smirk as he fidgeted. She signed the form and turned it back to him. She then turned back to her work and watched as he got up to leave. He was just to the door when she called out. “And even if there were operating instructions, you would have to learn how to read first.” 

He was too stunned to reply and just made a strategic retreat. The retreat was through the squad room, where he told his team to call it a night and then straight to his car. He did not like the look in her eye; he knew her well enough to know that she wouldn’t let that comment go, quite so easily. That and the fact that she had given him the ‘look’ it wasn’t the angry look or the amused look, it wasn’t the confused or irritated one either. It was the one he had seen more often during their past, the one right before she would seduce the hell out of him. The one that he was ashamed to admit made him bend to her will regardless of circumstance. He didn’t like that look, at least not when he was sure he wasn’t going to enjoy the outcome. 

He retreated back to his house and hid away in the basement with his boat, keeping the outside world out. He downed his glass of bourbon and then proceeded to pour another. His hands sweat even as he gripped the sander and ran it rhythmically over the wood. The look haunted him, and if he closed his eyes, it was much easier to imagine running his hands over her skin, than the wood. He wouldn’t lie and say she wasn’t in his fantasy; he dared any man to not fantasize about her. It just simply was too hard to do. The only part he didn’t like was that while they were very real in his mind, he knew they would never be more than memories, and as much as she may drive him insane, he wasn’t sure he could keep dealing with the static between them. He glanced at his watch after a while and decided that maybe he could bring dinner by her house as a peace offering. He got in his car and drove carefully over to her house, only to find it still dark. He hoped that meant she was still at work or asleep, he didn’t want to think that she spent her nights elsewhere. He figured it wouldn’t hurt to knock and went slowly up to the door only to find a package. 

That to him meant she hadn’t come home, because he couldn’t imagine her leaving something on her porch. He searched for the return address but found none. This forced him to worry, she was a target, and unknown packages could easily be assassination attempts. He searched the package again carefully and found the note in Ziva’s writing. 

_Jenny,_

_Don’t kill us, Abby and I didn’t mean to snoop, but she found it first, and then we certainly couldn’t stop our curiosity. I realize that curiosity killed the Church…or was that one an animal? Either way, we figured it better to seek forgiveness than ask permission. We are currently begging for your forgiveness and swear that everything we saw/read will be taken to the grave. We also swear on Gibbs’ that no matchmaking attempts will occur unless authorized. Again we plead forgiveness since Gibbs won’t actually let us apologize. We didn’t mean to read the whole thing, but we definitely learned a lot. Now, if only DiNozzo would get his head out of the sand, I might be able to employ it, and please don’t repeat that. I don’t want to get in trouble for breaking Rule 12._

_Not that Abby isn’t already._

_\--Ziva and Abby._

_p.s. I DID NOT FIND IT FIRST, Ziva’s trying to pin this all on me!!!_

He made a mental note to slap DiNozzo and McGee later, but the note itself gave him something to think about. Whatever was in this package was obviously something personal to Jenny. Something that probably shed some insight into the workings of her mind and might actually help him understand her better. If he did understand better, it stood to reason that they wouldn’t fight so much, and perhaps could go back to having the friendship he missed. If other relationships developed well, that was just icing on the cake. It wasn’t like he had to tell her, he still loved her. 

He grabbed the package, glanced around, and bolted back to his car, pulling quietly out of the drive and speeding back to his house. He didn’t notice the curtain on the top floor of the townhouse falling back into place, nor did he hear the quiet giggles from inside that same front door; he was already halfway back to his place. 

He ran back into his house and down to the basement, taking the knife out of his pocket and opening the package. It was a leather-bound book; obvious ware suggested that it was well-loved and used. As he opened the book, he was slightly surprised to find Jenny’s writing filling the pages. He read further in and paused. This was her journal, diary; whatever he wanted to call it, he had found literally the Holy Grail to Jenny. _Read it, don’t read it._ He reasoned that if Abby and Ziva had, he could as well. It wasn’t like he’d actually repeat what was said, and he’d save the note so he could deliver it back safe and sound, and she wouldn’t be the wiser. 

\--

Jennifer Shepard let the curtain fall back into place in her darkened bedroom. Everything was going perfectly according to plan. As she moved to the doorway, she heard the faint giggling down the stairs, and both Abby and Ziva shushing each other. She walked down slowly, taking care not to turn on any lights in case Gibbs decided to turn back. She found her two accomplices sitting on either side of the front door clutching their stomachs in laughter. 

“You two better hope he’s gone.”

“Oh, he couldn’t get out of here fast enough!” Abby laughed.

“He rabbited.”

“I think she means rabbit, but yea, that too,” Abby translated. 

“I can’t believe you’re actually doing this,” Ziva said.

“Jethro asked for instructions, I have never been one to deny a request,” Jenny answered. “It’s entirely up to him what he decides to do with it.”

“You’re not going to make this easy for him, are you?” Abby questioned curiously.

“It’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind,” Jenny quoted.

“Oh, Jenny, and people think you’re docile,” Ziva sighed. “You do realize you have made yourself very vulnerable.”

“Hardly. The first page is a how-to kill Leroy Jethro Gibbs and get away with it,” she answered.

“Hm…me think the lady doth protest,” Abby teased.

“And methinks the favorite is slowly falling from grace,” Jenny shot back. Abby mimed, zipping her lips and throwing away the key. 

“So, what’s first on the list?” Ziva questioned.

“A phone call,” Jenny replied with a faint smile. “Although I think that is one lesson he’s already learned. It won’t hurt for the review.”

“What exactly is the goal of this Jenny?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, he asked for operating instructions, I gave them.”

“And you just want him to learn. So he can understand all women,” Abby concluded.

“Exactly.”  
“Including Lt. Colonel Mann.”  
“She’s in Hawaii.”

“Maybe he’ll retire.”

“So what if he does?” Jenny threw back, trying not to go on the defense. She hoped she had thought to get rid of the page of the reasons why Mann had to go. 

“Hm…okay. Well, if you need any more assistance, you know where to find us,” Ziva responded, gesturing toward Abby. The two younger women left, and Jenny retreated back to her study. 

“You think this is supposed to be his wake-up call?” Abby asked.

“He’d have to be blind, mute, and deaf, not to get this.

“Blind, deaf, and dumb, but yea same thing.”


	2. If I don’t call you [Its because I’m waiting for you to call me]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the Kudos! This work was begun in 2009 and I guess it takes a pandemic and a stay at home order for me to finish. ;)

**If I don’t call you** **  
****[Its because I’m waiting for you to call me]**

Gibbs sat down to study the journal in detail. He couldn’t decide how to go about it. The most logical obvious was to read it cover to cover in order, but he thought there might be something said for spontaneity and considered just picking a random page. He was worried though that he might pick something to close to recent events and if he showed insight on them, she might wonder. So safest bet, start at the beginning. 

He quickly determined that this was not written in any particular order, it was like she just picked a random page and began. The first ten pages were lists. 

The first list he came across was sort of a table of contents, a list of titles of the entries and while a great many of them caught his interest he was determined to read straight through. The second list had the very large, bold title of **_How To Murder Leroy Jethro Gibbs and Get Away With It._ ** Listed particularly close to the top was to enlist the help of Abby. He wasn’t quite sure he should appreciate the fact that she had thought out in detail his demise, although given the crap he occasionally put her through it wasn’t a total surprise. The few suggestions of using a stapler, a letter opener, and her nice pen, all had him considering breaking into her desk and get rid of the objects. Although now he always knew why she kept her letter opener close at hand. _She’s spent way too much time with Ziva,_ and considering that he didn’t doubt Ziva’s abilities, he knew he shouldn’t doubt Jen’s. 

The next list he found more humor in, as the bold letters of **_The Reasons Lt. Colonel Hollis Mann is a BAD idea,_ ** caught his undivided attention. He read this one closely being sure to pay attention to the starred numbers. _Reason 1, she’s not a redhead. Reason 12, who the hell names their kid Hollis? Reason 35, she’s in the army, not the Marines or Navy. Reason 103, she doesn’t like bourbon._ He was surprised she’d made it to 112 reasons, most of which he was surprised at how legitimate they were. Then again it proved to him what he had long suspected, Jennifer Shepard was jealous and that was gratifying. He moved through the rest of the lists, mostly just birthday ideas and wants for herself and a few suggestions for other people. He knew he’d find a way to copy those so he would know what to get her this year. He also found another list of places she would like to visit. It looked like it had been started when she was younger and he quickly found the stars meant places she would like to revisit. To his very great surprise, Marsalis, Positano, and Serbia were all places to revisit; Paris had a giant x through it. 

The first actually diary-like entry he came across was dated sometime in may that first year she was Director. As the date became more obvious he was hesitant to read the entry. He didn’t want details of her kidnapping. Ducky had assured him she hadn’t been harmed in any way, at least physically. He didn’t want that to be contradicted. Those had been some of the most trying hours and probably his first major clue that he was in no way over Jennifer Shepard and he wanted another chance with her. He had asked her, once she was safe and sound why she hadn’t called him when it first happened. She had pointed out that she was trying to keep that information away from her kidnappers. As he began the entry he realized that this was in fact what it was about.

**_Why didn’t you call me Jen? He asked rather a stupid question. Oh yes, of course, Jethro I’ll just call you and let my kidnappers know I have a phone. Yep fantastic idea. I was waiting for you to call me! Sheesh. It wasn’t like he’d actually pick up the phone if I called and if he had been in interrogation he would have yelled at me, hung up, and then been sorry about it later. Well maybe not sorry about it, but he certainly wouldn’t have realized that I needed his help. Better for him to call me, and then he can control the conversation, at least that was the idea. It didn’t quite work out that way, but I suppose alls well that ends well. The fact that I could have been dead just hours ago is certainly not a refreshing one. What a wonderful way to find out someone is dead, call them. Certainly, not the way I’d want to find out, but then again phone calls can always hold such bad news._ **

**_Maybe that’s why I’d rather someone called me. If it’s good news then I’m the one they want to share it with if its bad news then they’ve either called to inform me or they’re looking for comfort. Moral of the day, if I don’t call, I’m waiting for them to call me._ **

Gibbs closed the bookmarking his place with a wire tie. It was an interesting thought, her idea of being called. He certainly agreed that he wouldn’t have wanted to call her only to find her dead. That wouldn’t have been a pleasant scenario in the least, especially if he was so far away. He hadn’t enjoyed it when they called him, he was terrified about what they might say or do to her if they couldn’t find a way to rescue her. 

He starred at his cell phone and house phone for a minute before picking the house line up. He toyed with it, listened to the dial tone a minute before making his decision and dialing a number he knew by heart. He waited for three rings before a voice picked up.

“Shepard.”

“Jen.”

“Jethro…something the matter?”

“Hm…can’t a guy call his old partner?”

“Sure but usually it would be better if they call at a normal hour.” He glanced at his cell phone and noticed the time.

“Oh…I uh didn’t mean to call so late,” he said. “I was just thinking about…something and I needed your opinion.” She was silent but he could still hear her breathing.

“My opinion on what?”  
“Well more like I could use some advice.”

“You’re asking me for advice.”

“Yes, it’s not uncommon.”

“No, it’s just a surprise. Okay, what couldn’t wait till tomorrow?” She inquired.

“McGee.”

“McGee?”

“Well he’s seeing this girl and I think he’s pretty serious about her, but I’m not really sure I’m the best person to be taking advice from. I think he might actually want to marry her.” He heard Jenny stifle laughter.

“Oh and god forbid he actually gets married.”

“Hey!”

“So who’s the girl?”

“I don’t know…well, I mean it better not be Abby.”

“You know DiNozzo came and asked me for advice, maybe McGee should talk to him.”

“Right. Wait DiNozzo asked you for advice on relationships?”  
“Don’t sound so surprised Jethro, it was you or me and let’s face it your track record isn’t that great.”

“So what did you tell him?”

“I told him if he cared about her there shouldn’t be a problem, McGee should listen to what his own instincts are telling him. I’m sure the young lady, whoever she is if she cares the same way would be receptive.”

“Do you know who it is?”

“McGee and I don’t talk much.”

“But you and Abby do,” he pointed out.

“And I gave her my word I would never repeat any of it.” He was silent for a moment as he considered that there might be things Abby was telling her that he wouldn’t know about. Somehow he was happy that at least she trusted Jenny where she wouldn’t trust him. “Anything else?”

“What?”

“Any other questions I should have answers for?”

“Um…none that immediately comes to mind. I just thought I should call you.”

“Call me?”

“Well you don’t usually call me unless I’m in trouble, and we haven’t really spoken all week.”

“We spoke this morning, remember?”

“Oh…” he paused he didn’t apologize, it just wasn’t done but he knew forging her signature hadn’t been his brightest move. “About that, it was just a rough copy,” he tried.

“Uh-huh.”

“Really it was,” he protested, glad they were over the phone so she couldn’t tell he was trying not to smirk.

“Wipe the smirk off your face,” she responded. His eyes went up as he stared at the phone and wonder if she had some superpower or something. He glanced at the journal in front of him. _I hope not._

“Okay, so I figured it would save you the trouble.”

“Better,” she replied. “Not grovel material but better.”

“I do not grovel.”

“You’ve been known to,” she shot back and he could swear it was she was who smirking this time. He tried to come up with a response, but all of them were laced with innuendo that he would pay to see her expression to and so, therefore, passed up the opportunity to use them now. He’d get her later. “Anything else?”

“Uh no.”

“Good in that case I’m going back to sleep.”

“Back to sleep?”

“Well to sleep I guess, I had been dozing, the phone rang I decided I might as well get ready for bed. I’d rather not sleep in a business suit.” 

“So then what would you prefer to sleep in?” He taunted.

“Good night Jethro,” she said exasperated.

“Night Jen.” He heard the click and tried to erase the image of her changing. It was a really good thing he hadn’t known that during the phone conversation.

\--

“Did you just…” Abby trailed off from her spot at the edge of Jenny’s bed.

“I can’t believe…and Gibbs…” Ziva gaped shifting the pillow she was lying on. The three had decided for a slumber party and we’re thus camping out on Jenny’s California King size bed. Jenny was just pulling the oversized sweatshirt over her head at that point and smiled innocently.

“What?”

“You just basically told Gibbs that you…”

“Poor Gibbs.”

“Poor Gibbs?” Jenny echoed Abby. “It was poor Gibbs who started this.”

“But Jenny that was just…” Ziva stopped. “Actually it was brilliant.”

“That aside,” Abby whined. “I still can’t believe. That’s so not an image I need.”  
“Image? What image is that?”

“Did you and Gibbs, you know back in the day, ever…err use the phone?” Abby tried, looking as innocent as possible.

“You know you two are awfully sure of your selves that there was a Gibbs and me back in the day.”

“Well, you were partners.”  
“Hm…yep strictly professional, like Tony and Ziva.”

“If your partnership was remotely like ours, I wouldn’t call it strictly professional,” Ziva teased.

“Well, I never had to go under covers with my partner. Just undercover.”

“NOTHING HAPPENED!” Ziva protested.

“Uh-huh,” Jenny replied. “And that wasn’t just his knee.”

“Jenny you…” Abby was giggling at Ziva’s attempt at a defense, before pausing. “Wait, Director...err Jenny, you watched them at night…so anything happen?”

“Ziva and Tony both snore,” Jenny informed the younger girl. Ziva grumbled something about she does not. “You do Ziva, you both snore louder than Gibbs.” Ziva started to protest again when Abby whacked her.

“Louder than Gibbs?” Abby clarified.

“And how would you know that Jenny, if there was no you and Gibbs?” Jenny grinned leaning into the two girls.

“You’ve both heard how I stole a boat,” they nodded. “Well, the boat wasn’t that big. I almost had Ducky drown him.”

“Funny Gibbs said the same about you,” Ziva bit back. “But now we know how he knew of course.”

“You two are awful,” Jenny remarked.

“No…we’re just orphans who happen to enjoy it when Mommy and Daddy get along,” Abby replied.

“That and Tony always has some excellent insight and swears that there’s no other explanation for the UST surrounding you. I’m guessing it’s some kind of fog.”

“Yea…that’s it,” Jenny replied making a note to kill DiNozzo and put an end to all of his bets. 

“This is going to be fun, so after the phone call what’s next?” Abby inquired.

“Protection detail.” The two girls laughed loudly commenting on who needs protection, Gibbs or Jenny. 


	3. When I’m scared [Protect me]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the Kudos

**When I’m scared** **  
** **[Protect me]**

After he hung up the phone, a dazed look still on his face, he turned back to the journal. She had seemed surprised that he had called her, but had responded to the gesture nonetheless. He figured he’d keep it up for a week or so, seeing the reaction, and if it were a good one, he’d continue to do it. They had been the most passionate of lovers but on top of all that, they’d been close friends, and he missed the friend in her almost as much as the lover. If the phone calls opened up a line of communication, maybe they could have that friendship again. He was a total idiot and he knew that back then, he’d been able to deal better, cope better with different things then he did now, and part of it had been her friendship, certainly, the other part had been that she would hold him and comfort him, but he cut those thoughts off. Flipping the page he found what he had thought was another entry but instead had been a continuation of the first. 

**_When Your Time Runs Out_ **

**_I didn’t know if I was going to ever see my house again, my friends again, anything but that hanger ever again. I thought for sure I would be killed, left to die, alone. It was not exactly a comforting thought. I would rather go down guns blazing and all then withering away, but this was just a little too soon and close for comfort. Yes I know I have a dangerous job, yes I know there are people who want me dead, and yes I realize I could be killed at any moment, but I don’t have to like it. I would never admit to being scared, it’s a weakness I can’t afford, but I was today. I fought back and lost, knew I wasn’t going to get out alone, and to be perfectly honest, as happy as I was to see Ziva, that was not exactly the comfort I needed._ **

**_First thought that crossed my mind was where the hell was Jethro. It wasn’t like him to let his agents do the work. The last time I had the unfortunate experience of being kidnapped, he’d come to rescue me and yes it was a little knight on white horse scenario, but it was comforting. When I realized something was wrong with the brother I became even more frightened. My comfort, at least I wasn’t going to die alone anymore, Ziva would most likely be shot with me. Not quite the person I’d die with but beggars can’t be choosers. When you have a gun to your head, the only thought you can come across is, please don’t let him miss. Headshot wounds are not pleasant. Of course, bullets flying past your head doesn’t help on the keeping your calm front. I almost fainted there, till I realized who had fired the gun. It was oddly comforting to know I trusted him enough not to miss, even knowing how bad his eyesight was. He hadn’t come over right away, checking first to make sure Dempsey was really dead, getting Tony out of the car, Ziva was the one who stood next to me and led me away to the car to sit for a moment, and cut the bonds that held my wrists. It was only after when Gibbs handed Ziva the car keys and Tony sat upfront that he gently placed me in the car and sat next to me._ **

**_I wasn’t allowed to go back to my office but instead dragged to see Ducky. All without a single word, just pressure on my arm and a look that I didn’t quite recognize. Abby had pounced when she saw us, telling Gibbs that she knew it would be okay and he should listen to her more. Ducky said he would check over me, but I convinced him I was fine. Gibbs hovered. It was oddly comforting that at the end of it all he just walked me to his car, said to get in and drove me home. No questions asked, he picked up dinner and set it up on my kitchen table, didn’t even ask me for anything. I wanted him to stay but I would be damned if I would say it, so perhaps it was a good thing he knows me so well. He knows that when I’m scared, I like to feel somewhat protected. He said he’d sleep on the couch, but I can hear him pacing outside my door, probably trying to figure out if he should come in or not. I’ll put him out of his misery for now. It wouldn’t be such a bad thing to just sit up and talk. It might be kinda nice…_ **

Gibbs closed the book again thinking back to that night. He had been worried about her and knew her well enough to know she had been building up walls the second Ziva had led her to the car. She had berated herself in autopsy, seemingly surprised when he hadn’t said anything. The truth was he didn’t know what to say, all he had wanted to was hold her close and tell her it would all be all right, but that wasn’t his place, so instead, he just integrated himself into her evening. Took her home, bought her dinner, cleaned up so she could shower, and then guarded her from her room. He had noticed the light on and heard her as she moved about. He had almost knocked a few times but then was worried that she was simply tolerating this, that any sort of conversation would lead to confrontation, and he didn’t want to leave her alone. 

She had come out of her room acting surprised to see him; he knew she was aware of his pacing. She had said she was just getting a glass of water and asked him if he’d like anything to drink. He had jumped at that opportunity and volunteered to make her hot chocolate with all the trimmings. He hadn’t even given her the option of saying no, just leading her down the stairs. He had by habit grabbed her wrist and felt her flinch. It was enough for him to be very worried and he had studied the rope burns before finding an ice pack and carefully wrapping it around both her wrist and putting the hot chocolate in a thermos so it would stay warm for her. They’d stayed up and just talked, mostly about cases, he had tried to tell her funny stories about Tony and the others but he wasn’t a very good storyteller. They never talked about their past, although he realized it was a golden opportunity, he hadn’t wanted to press on her vulnerability that night. When she’d finally fallen asleep he had considered leaving her on the couch, but he wanted that one moment to assure himself she was okay. He had carried her to bed that night putting her down carefully and trying not to wake her. He’d watched her sleep before it became too painful and then left. It was only until he had made it all the way downstairs that he realized she was slightly awake. She had never said a word later, but the following morning had said thank you in that quiet, sweet voice, that she possessed and he knew it was more than just staying. 

He wanted the chance to do that over. To show he could protect her when she was scared. Of course, that meant finding something she was afraid of and that might actually be harder than he thought. 

\--

It was curiously silent when he walked into the bullpen after his first coffee refill the next day. He hadn’t seen Jenny all day, or Ziva for that matter, but she had left a message saying she would be in the afternoon and the Director had cleared it. Tony had, of course, made a few comments, McGee had taken the bait but McGee was also strangely melancholy. They didn’t have any new work and Ducky and Abby hadn’t called with any surprises so there was really not much to do but paperwork and bickering. He decided to wander upstairs and see the Director if he was bored, he might as well bicker with someone worth bickering with, and Tony and McGee just didn’t present enough of a challenge. He made it up the stairs and through the outer doors past Cynthia, who called out to him and into her office, which was empty.

“Where’s the Director?”

“She isn’t in yet.”  
“Has she called?”  
“She said she’d be in this afternoon if she was feeling better.” He said nothing just hitting speed dial one on his phone, figuring he could win two points with her for two phone calls in less than twelve hours.

“Shepard.”

“You don’t sound sick.”

“Jethro?”

“Cynthia here says you’re not feeling well.” 

“Yes, well actually…do you think you could come over to Abby’s apartment?” She sounded hesitant.

“Abby’s?”

“Um yea, I had to give her a ride.”

“I’ll be right there.”

“And Jethro.”

“Hm?”

“Thank you for calling.” He smiled faintly, he would not compare it to a dog getting a treat, but that comment made him feel pretty damn good. There might actually be something said for this communication idea. He walked back down and called for Tony and McGee. “I’m going for coffee, finish your paperwork or else.”

“But Boss…” WHACK. “Working Boss.” Gibbs entered the elevator and drove over to Abby’s apartment building. He carefully went up the stairs and found her apartment door unlocked. Cautiously he went in finding the main room empty.

“Jenny? Abby?” 

“We’re in here,” Jenny called from the far door. He opened the bedroom door and spotted their reflection in the bathroom mirror. He went in and found up against the far wall. “Don’t move past there,” she cautioned.

“Ziva,” Gibbs greeted spotting the Israeli trying to get the wall to eat her up. “Should you three be at work?”

“We officially have leave until we can get out of here, given by the Director,” Ziva informed.

“Convenient, since she’s right here. You two holding her hostage or something?”   
“Or something,” Jenny muttered.

“We’re all being held hostage,” Abby whined, “By the um…item in the bathtub.” Gibbs leaned over but found a long black object. 

“What is…” the hissing sound and the object slithering as two beady eyes met his and he froze. “A snake. You three are scared of a little garden snake.”

“LITTLE?” Abby gasped. Gibbs stepped back as the snake stretched out.

“Okay not so little snake,” Gibbs agreed. The snake slithered its head over the head and looked as if it were going to move toward the girls.

“Jethro…” Jenny whined. “Kill it!”

“If I fire a shot in here it’s going to ricochet!” He snapped. “I’m guessing that’s why you didn’t fire!” 

“My gun is in my purse, on the table!” She shot back. “Or I would ha…have…” she faded off as the snake moved again. “Jethro!” 

“Just relax, okay, I’ll get rid of it,” he paused trying to figure out exactly how. “Abbs you got any bags.”

“Hm…my bowling bag is a drawstring, it’s in the closet but Gibbs…”

“What Abbs?”

“You can’t go to my closet, your birthday present is there!” 

“Abby really…snake in the tub.”

“No she’s right all the presents are in there.”

“What?”

“Well you know how to break into my house and Ziva doesn’t have storage,” Jenny explained. 

“Really, I’ll act surprised.”

“No!” Abby whined again. 

“Abbs it's that, or you’re stuck.”

“Just find something else!” Abby suggested. Gibbs sighed. He was not about to deal with three angry women later. He reached to the side of the snake keeping his eye on it.

“Jen, take the gun.”

“What?”

“Take the gun, and you two duck. If it so much as twitches, shoot it.” Jenny quickly grabbed it, aiming it at the snake. “And try not to shoot me.” Their laughter was what followed him from the room. He searched the living area finding nothing. He was not going to go through Abby’s doors and paused at the closet when something on the nightstand next to the coffin caught his attention. Jenny’s purse. He glanced at the bathroom for a second,  _ desperate times, desperate measures, I’ll buy her a new one _ , he promised himself, dumping the contents. 

“Jethro?”

“Just a minute,” he said. He came in and saw Jenny focused, gun aimed, finger on the trigger, the girls hiding behind her. He was surprised to find even Ziva hiding, but it was a big snake. “Okay, now just don’t move and Abby you’re going to want to close your eyes.” The younger girl buried her head in Jenny’s shoulder and Gibbs removed his knife. The snake had seemed to just curl up so he was just going to try and scoop it into the purse. He worked from the head first, pushing the remaining body, at least six feet, into the bag and zipped it shut quickly, hoping the damn thing would be squashed under its own body weight. “Okay, out now, go on.” The two younger ones bolted for the door, Jenny moving behind them glancing back at him for a second before going out and he heard her gasp.

“Jethro?”

“What?”

“What bag are you using?” Jenny inquired and he could hear the fear in her voice.

“Um…look it was the only bag there, and you wouldn’t let me go in the closet and…”

“So you used my three hundred dollar bag?” She exclaimed a perfected Gibbs glare being directed his way.

“I’ll buy you a new one,” he assured, putting the bag down for a second. A six-foot-long snake sure weighed a lot. 

“You better hope he doesn’t eat through it!”

“Okay, now are you three alright? He didn’t attack did he?” Gibbs questioned worriedly. Abby nodded teary-eyed, Ziva nodded stoically, and Jenny just glanced over at her bag. “Are you sure?”

“We are fine Gibbs, it was just a bit of a shock,” Ziva assured. 

“Why didn’t you three leave and lock the door?”

“It jumped at Jenny,” Abby informed. “And I’m scared of snakes.”

“How did you even find it?”

“I went in the bathroom to get something,” Abby explained. “Ziva and Jenny came to rescue me.”

“We weren’t expecting something so big, we didn’t have our weapons,” Ziva added on. 

“Okay, fine. The three of you in the car.” 

“Gibbs I don’t want to go in the car with the snake,” Abby cried, her eyes tearing up. 

“Ziva take her in whichever car you want.”

“Wait I’m not…” 

“C’mon Jen,” he said, hefting the bag up again. Ziva and Abby bolted to the car, Gibbs locking up as Jenny had dumped the contents of her purse in a Ziploc. He could see her stare at her bag, which had a squirming bulge. “Think of it as setting a fashion trend.” He comforted. She glared again. 

“We should call animal control, have her apartment searched,” Jenny suggested.

“Alright, she’s not staying here tonight.”

“She can stay with me,” Jenny assured. He said nothing just dumping the bag in front of the car. 

“It moves, shoot,” he said, before launching into a conversation with animal control. “They said twenty minutes.” 

“Fantastic,” Jenny sighed. She stared at the bag a minute, before looking away. He was so buying her a new bag. He sighed as he caught her staring at the bag again. He knew he’d be going to the mall afterward and finding her an exact replica bag. He just hoped it wasn’t Prada. He glanced at the bag again only to notice a large problem. 

“Jenny.”

“What?”

“Don’t move.”

“What do you mean don’t move?” She asked turning back to face him only to find the bag had a hole in it. “Where’s the…” She glanced down and saw it slithering around her ankles.

“Do not move!” Gibbs snapped sensing her panic. 

“There is a giant snake and you don’t want me to move!” He moved carefully behind the snake. 

“Okay just hold out your hands,” he coaxed, holding out his. She held them out and he gripped her forearms. 

“Jethro, it’s wrapping around my ankle,” she said scared.

“I know, I know. Just hold on, when it goes to constrict, jump straight up,” he told her. She waited and did what he said. She felt him pull her towards him and when her feet hit the ground, she was leaning against him and there was a pain in her ankle. “Okay?”

“No, I think it got my ankle.” She tried to step away but she was definitely not going to be able to stand on it. He supported her for a second glancing at the snake, which was turning around. 

“Alright, snake first, ankle later,” he pulled her forward and she hoped to keep up. “Sit.” She found herself against his car. She tried to push herself on it, but that wasn’t happening. She felt his hands fall to her waist and gently pick her up and sit her down on the car. “Don’t move.”

“Not planning on it. Can I shoot it?” She asked referring to the snake that was slithering around in front of them.

“No, although if it makes you feel better I’ll have it arrested for assault of a federal agent.”

“That would make me very happy.”

“Glad to be of service.” Animal control pulled up at that moment and a portly looking man stepped out of the fan.

“Where’s the animal problem?” Gibbs pointed to the snake. “That’s a large thing ain't it. Now where you say this was found?”

“Our daughter’s apartment,” Gibbs explained. “In her bathtub.”

“Probably got in through the pipes. We’ll have some folks come to take a look, your baby girl got a place to stay?”

“Yes.”

“Can we get the address?” A younger man asked getting out of the car to assist his partner. 

“Call this number when it’s safe for her to come back,” Gibbs said, handing him his business card. The guy gulped seeing the NCIS logo. He watched them bag the snake and put it in the back of their truck before turning his attention back to Jenny. The redhead was probing her ankle gently and he could see the wince. “I think we should get you to Ducky,” he sighed. 

“It’s not too bad,” she claimed, wincing as he helped her off the hood of her car. 

“Yeah okay.” He helped her into the car and got in himself starting the engine. He placed his hand on the gearshift and the red caught Jenny’s eye.

“Jethro!” She placed her hand over his, stopping him from moving the car. “What happened?” He glanced to where her hand overlaid his, her fingers tracing a small bloody mark. 

“Uh…” he tried to think back and vaguely remembered the snake nipping him. “Well, this…” he began. “Was earned in the very heroic endeavor of rescuing three damsels in distress.” He met her green eyes and watched her bite her lip before her laughter filled the card.

“Right, heroic endeavor!” she laughed. He looked very put out. 

“Last time I ever protect you from a snake,” he responded. She placed her other hand on his arm. 

“Thank you for rescuing us from the snake Jethro,” she said sweetly. His smirk covered the grin that threatened to split his face. They drove to NCIS where Gibbs helped Jenny out of the car and to her office. He called Ducky and Abby and Ziva to come up just to make sure everyone was all right. 

“I’ll get you some coffee,” Gibbs said walking toward her door as she sat on her couch. 

“Jethro, I can’t do any work from here…” she said pointing to her desk.

“Right.” He moved over grabbing a file from her desk and bringing it over. He leaned down slightly to put it in front of her. 

“Thank you for saving us,” she said again. She kissed his cheek quickly. 

“What was that for?”

“Oh I saw it in a movie, coffee Jethro…can’t brew itself,” she reminded. He moved to her office door retreating.

“For that, I think snakes are worth it,” he mumbled. 

“Snakes are worth what?” Ziva inquired, stepping to the doorway. Gibbs said nothing just continued on his way. Abby followed the Israeli into the office and sat on either side of Jenny. 

“Well?”

“Oh, he mastered that lesson.”

“You didn’t do anything drastic did you?” Abby asked.

“Now why would you think that?” Jenny replied.

“Well because of that movie…the fair damsel in distress always kisses the knight in shining armor, “Ziva repeated.

“Do I look like a damsel in distress?” Abby snickered at Jenny’s outrage. 

“Fiona kissed Sherk,” she said. “I kinda see the resemblance too.” She ducked from Jenny’s swat. 

“I kissed his cheek, believe me, if I’d kissed him, you two wouldn’t be in here.”

“Is that so?” Ziva questioned. “Do you speak from experience or…”

“Kiss one, kiss ‘em all,” Jenny responded.

“Hm…but Gibbs is a very…reserved person no?” 

“Yea…the silver fox not exactly overflowing passion, unless of course, you know something we don’t,” Abby continued. Jenny simply smiled enigmatically, as Ducky entered the room. “So what’s next oh great one?”

“I thought that was Gibbs’ nickname,” Ducky commented.

“Oh it is, it just suits the Director, and don’t you think Ducky?”  
“Whatever you say, Abby.”

“So…do not keep us suspended,” Ziva tried again.

“It’s in suspense, and next is for me to ignore him.”

“That seems a little anticlimactic.”

“He may resort to desperate measures.”

“Like sharing his coffee?” Abby suggested.

“You three wouldn’t be plotting against Gibbs now would you?” Ducky inquired, looking over the Director’s ankle.

“Of course not Ducky!” Jenny responded. “I think I have better things to do, besides, with Tony around who else needs to plot.”

“Very true my dear.” Ducky bandaged her ankle carefully before getting up again. “Well, in any case, I suppose I’ll just have to question Jethro myself.”

“About what?”

“Well the grin, you know Jethro, he doesn’t grin, well not since you…” Ducky trailed off at Jenny’s glare. “Not in a long time anyway.”

“You know Ducky one of these days we shall have to exchange Jenny stories,” Ziva suggested. 

“Of course my dear, why have I told you the time she stole a boat to…”

Jenny zoned out of the conversation going over her plan. This was nothing more than payback for Gibbs’ comment. Nothing more. 

  
  
  



	4. When I ignore you [Give me your attention]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize you all think I'm super fast at updating. Let me share some facts: 1) I started this fic in 2009 and it remained largely unfinished until last March when I took some time off and was writing this while I finished job applications. 2) The only reason I'm posting this is to pass the days during the shutdown. 3) If it keeps up for more than 18 days (which it's likely to) you'll probably get another story from me.

**When I ignore you** **  
****[Give me your attention]**

Gibbs was absently tapping away at his computer, not really paying attention to what was typed on the screen. DiNozzo and McGee looked over a few hundred times trying to figure out what was going on around here. The fact that all three women had come practically together, and that the Director was hurt was somewhat unusual. The fact that Gibbs didn’t seem intent on punishing Ziva or Abby was not completely unusual but there hadn’t even been a good Gibbs' stare. The two were very puzzled, but even more so when Ziva and Abby went to the Director’s office and didn’t come back for nearly twenty minutes. After ten minutes of Ziva being back and Abby having departed for her lab, Gibbs still hadn’t said a word, and so Tony had decided to inquire.

“So Zee-vah what did the Director want?”

“It is of no conquest.”

“Concern,” McGee corrected automatically.

“Oh but we’re both very concerned, aren’t we McGook?”

“Tony…” McGee sighed.

“It is need to know,” Ziva answered.

“Since when did you run errands for the Director?” Tony was almost put out at the fact that Jenny had chosen her over him.

“Not that kind of need to know. It was girl talk.”

“Oh…well McGee and I love girl talk!” Tony assured, leaning across his desk. His face connected with his desk moments later.

“I don’t,” Gibbs snapped. “Back to work DiNozzo.”

“On it Boss.” 

“Going for coffee,” he announced disappearing into the elevator hearing Tony again inquire about the girl talk. As he came back from getting his coffee, he stopped on a bench outside headquarters and removed the journal from his jacket pocket. He began to read the next entry trying to figure out if there was some other way to get back in Jenny’s good graces then buying her a new bag.

**_Men are infuriating. That’s just all there is to it. This whole keeping a journal is a brilliant idea because now I can rant for all the times I’ve held my tongue…_ **

_And just how many times was that?_ Gibbs had to ask himself, her temper so suited her, and he found it rather amusing sometimes how she would sit and stew. Of course, the few times she’d exploded hadn’t been pleasant, but it was still fun.

**_Rant 1: Gibbs. Really. I realize it's very difficult for the man to comprehend that I’m trying to improve NCIS relations with sister agencies and internationally as well. He’s damn lucky to have Ziva! And what do I get? Grief. She’s better than all of his agents combined and eventually, he’s going to come around to see that and of course, I won’t get the luxury of saying I told you so, but it will be nice when he comes around to my way of thinking. Until then I believe conversations about personnel issues will occur frequently. I even tried to ignore him, claiming I needed more coffee and what do I get? His coffee. Not that it wasn’t sweet; it just wasn’t all that sanitary, although I was half expecting some retort about how I didn’t mind before._ **

_Now we get to the good stuff,_ Gibbs smirked. He skimmed ahead and was very disappointed not to find any memories of some foreign city. 

**_You know usually when I ignore him he gets the message that I’m simply waiting for something worthy of notice. Coffee, sweet as it is, is not exactly worthy of notice. Of course, if he had ever actually given me flowers I might have fainted. The odds of him ever doing that though are slim to none so I don’t have to worry about it, it's nice that he’s predictable, even if being predictable means I need to buy more boxes of Advil._ **

**_I have faith in Ziva; I just hope she has enough patience not to kill Jethro before he accepts her._ **

Gibbs truly wondered if Ziva had ever considered murdering him on the spot, he’d ask her someday in the very distant future. This predictability he didn’t like so much. It was one thing that she got under his skin like no other woman (alive) had, but the fact she found him somewhat predictable was going to grate on his nerves. He’d have to do something unpredictable and buying flowers was just as good a move as any. However, he had two options. He could bring them to her at work, where she might faint and everyone in the building would know inside five minutes that he brought them, he could have them delivered like he had the orchids a while ago (and she said he never sent flowers!), or he could bring them by her house. He supposed delivery really didn’t count, especially since he didn’t actually sign the card, but if he brought them to her house, she could faint without wondering if the whole agency saw. _Note to self, stop by the florist on the way to Jen’s._ In the meantime, he could bring her his coffee and hunt for a new purse that he would have delivered, no way in hell he was going to own up to the fact he actually went in a store and bought one. 

He got up from the bench, tucking the journal away, and headed back through the garage up to the bullpen. As he was waiting at the elevator, he noticed the far side door open. It was rather suspicious and he placed his hand on his gun. A second later the redhead peaking around the door was enough for him to relax, but not to quell his curiosity. Jenny walked out the door in a pair of flats and moved quickly toward the exit. It didn’t take him long to realize she’d slipped her detail. He sighed dramatically and began to trail her, knowing that she was likely to end up in trouble and with a sprained ankle running wasn’t an option. She was good though, he noticed she kept to the blind spots and shadows staying away from the cameras. No doubt her security detail thought she was in the building somewhere and by the time they realized she wasn’t, she would be off the premises. He followed, not really caring where he walked just stayed out of her line of sight. Either she had no clue she was being followed, knew he was following her and didn’t care, or knew he was following her and was going to slip him. He personally put his money on the first or last, she would definitely care if he was following her. She had just reached the street when his cell phone started vibrating. It was DiNozzo. _Boss, we can’t find the Director…_ Nah he’d let Tony stew for a little while. He watched her move toward the coffee shop they both seemed to favor and just as she was reaching for the door, he came up behind her.

“Fancy meeting you here,” he greeted. She huffed clearly and glared at him opening the door. “Already bought you a cup.” He handed her his cup of coffee and took her arm gently, pulling her back down the street. She still said nothing. He could play her game and so he rambled on about the case and paperwork and his team in a way that sounded eerily like Abby and she had no real choice but to tune out his voice, even as he pulled her along back to headquarters. There was no real option in her going; he wasn’t about to let go. His first idea had been to bring her to her nearest detail member and dump her on them, but then he decided he’d go all the way up to her office. He let go of her arm once they were in the squad room and followed her all the way upstairs happily chatting her ear off, fully aware that his team was looking at him like he was insane. She sat down at her desk trying to find a way to ignore him while he sat in front of her and watched her work, still rambling on. 

_He’s turning into Ducky,_ she thought amused that he was trying very hard to provoke a reaction out of her as he’d changed the topic of conversation to her own interests. So far she hadn’t participated but ignoring him and telling him to get the hell out of her office were starting to seem like good ideas. Or trying to find another way to shut him up. Finally, she decided to retreat to MTAC. At least from there, she could lock him out. She sent Cynthia a quick email and a minute later her loyal assistant appeared.

“Director, do you need me to set up any transmissions for you, I was about to go to MTAC to get a file.”

“No Cynthia, I’ll get the file. I could use a walk.” She stood and slipped by her loyal assistant who then glared at Gibbs who stayed seated and simply glared back. He figured she’d be gone five minutes. When ten passed he moved to join her in MTAC. He went to try the door but it was locked and he found that even using his retinal scan he wasn’t getting in. He turned back to call her cell phone and noticed Cynthia standing there.

“She locked me out.”

“Shocking,” the younger woman said moving back to her desk. Gibbs resisted the urge to head slap her. Somehow he didn’t think Jenny would be very happy if he did that. He retreated back to his desk and waited for a case to come in while he figured out how to Google purses. He found one he thought was similar to the one she had and called the store. Apparently it was some black leather large tote bag. Like he knew the difference between tote and handbag. He asked if they could have it delivered, gave them the name, his credit card number, and as he glanced at the weather reader and noticed the predicted forecast, asked if they wouldn’t mind throwing in an umbrella. 

An hour later he watched as a young salesman was escorted up to the Director’s office with a large box. He knew Jenny was still holed up in MTAC and so wasn’t surprised that five minutes after the delivery man had left Cynthia was seen bolting across the catwalk to the door of MTAC on her cell phone. The door was opened and Cynthia was let in, only to leave three minutes later followed by the Director. Both women walked back toward her office and he gave them an extra minute before going up there himself, his team again staring at him. He walked past Cynthia’s desk as she wasn’t there and into office, not bothering to knock as always. 

“Did you order a new bag?” He heard Cynthia ask as he came in. 

“No, I haven’t had the chance to.” He felt both their eyes on him as the door closed behind him. 

“Sorry Director I should have…” Jenny held up her hand.

“It wouldn’t matter much Cynthia, some people just don’t listen,” she replied. “Could you see to it that I’m not disturbed?"

“Of course Director.” Cynthia bolted from the room glaring once more at Gibbs for good measure.

“So whaddya get?” She put the box on the ground by her feet and turned back to her work, content on ignoring him. He moved around and picked the box up and took the bag out himself. “Nice. Black is nice. Think brown would go better with your shoes right?” She said nothing but he noticed her eye quirk up in amusement. “Well, I think it’s a very nice bag. Great size for snakes, don’t you think so? Oh and look, an umbrella, matching the bag. Gee you know I don’t get what it is with women and how everything down to the lipstick has to match everything else. It's too much work.”

She bit her lip to restrain herself from laughing. 

“Really, I don’t get it. I’m sure you would look just as nice in sweats as a suit,” he paused a minute cocking his head to the side. “Actually I know you do, but that’s beside the…” her hand muffled the rest of his sentence. She held it there a minute before letting go, hoping it would shut him up. “You really should learn to take compliments.” _No such luck. Desperate times…_ This time she sent an email to DiNozzo, who a minute and a half later was knocking on her door. 

“ENTER.”

“Director, kinda hoping I could borrow the Boss.”

“DiNozzo?” He questioned in the ‘you better have a damn good reason for this’ tone.

“Boss, uh…McGee needs you to supervise something.” Jenny smirked. _When all else fails, blame the Probie. Poor Tim._

“This better be good DiNozzo,” he mumbled, slapping his senior field agent upside the head.

“Yes Boss, hey Director, nice Coach bag,” he commented as Gibbs dragged him out the door closing. _Peace and quiet._ She then went about the painstaking process of organizing her new purse. 

\--

Jenny was standing in the kitchen fixing herself another Lean Cuisine later that evening. She was sure that was all she ate if Noemi wasn’t around to cook. It was a sad fact really; she used to like cooking, though she was smart enough to realize she wasn’t all that great. She sighed stirring around the food in the black plastic dish, staring at the purse on the other end of the counter. She didn’t really think he would buy her a new purse, but it was very, very sweet of him to do so and she promised herself that she would get him something in return, maybe a bottle of bourbon or something. He was certainly learning this lesson well, she’d barely said two words to him after the snake incident and he was persistent. She seriously wondered though what was going to happen when all of this was said and done. If he ever suspected she’d set him up it would be hell, on the other hand, she knew she would have to overreact if she caught him sneaking the journal back. It was just her nature and he would know something was off if she brushed it off. Caught in her dilemma she didn’t hear the knocking on the door till it was more like pounding and the bell was constant ringing. 

“Alright! Alright!” She snapped, pulling herself out of her thoughts and grabbing her gun as she made her way to the door. She pulled it open and found Leroy Jethro Gibbs with a bouquet of flowers in front of his face, standing on her doorstep. “What Jethro?”

“Sheesh, didn’t mean to disturb your beauty sleep,” he mocked. “I thought I’d drop by and see if you’d eaten dinner yet, I got extra Chinese.”

“Oh…” She paused; Chinese food sounded a whole lot more appealing than microwave dinner. “Sure.” She let him come in, closing the door behind him. He turned back to her and held out the flowers.

“And these are for you.” She took the bouquet of orchids and lilies hesitantly. “They won’t bite.”

“I’m sure they won’t, I’m just…concerned.”

“About what?”  
“You. You don’t usually bring me flowers.”

“Well, I thought I’d try something different, besides I felt bad about your purse, though I see that you already got a new one.”

“Uh-huh. Thank you for that by the way,” she responded helping him unload the Chinese boxes.

“You weren’t seriously going to eat Lean Cuisine for dinner were you?”

“They’re good!” She protested.

“Eck…” he shook his head distastefully, throwing the offending food away. “Good thing I came by. When does Noemi get back?”  
“What makes you think she’s gone?”

“You’re not eating good food and there’s nothing in your freezer. Run out of leftovers?” She said nothing but grabbed some plates and silverware. She set the table and he laid out the food. She stared at the food, General Tso’s chicken. He hated that. 

“General Tso’s?”  
“Ordered it accidentally,” he said, not missing a beat. She didn’t buy that for a second, but she’d go along with it. “Nice to see you’re not ignoring me anymore.”

“It’s difficult when you’re sitting in my kitchen.”

“And here I thought the flowers won you over.”

“Oh they were a nice start,” she assured. “Keep it up and see what happens.”

“Will I get to deal with the FBI as I please?”

“Hm…no.”

“CIA?”  
“No.”

“The media?”

“God no!” She assured. “But flowers would be a nice gesture next time you get me to clean up your mess.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he responded. “It’s not like I’ve never sent you flowers though.”

“Oh really? When exactly did you send me flowers?” She inquired, raising her eyebrow. He would either answer her and thus admit to the orchids or just smirk and it would go unacknowledged. He smirked. _Too predictable._ She was about to taunt him into giving it up when the house phone rang.

“Someone actually knows your home number?”

“You do.”

“Yea but that was…” he paused and glared at the offending object as it rang again. If it was some guy calling her that was not Ducky he was going to pick up the phone. 

“Could you hand it to me?” She asked as he was within arms reach. He said nothing and she sighed getting up again to grab it when it was the answering machine. 

“Jenny, Ziva. About yesterday and what I said about the…” Jenny quickly picked up the phone turning off the answering machine.

“Ziva.”

“Oh Shalom. I didn’t think you were home.”

“It took me a minute to get the phone.”

“I didn’t interrupt anything did I?”

“Why would you think that?” 

“Uh, Abby.”

“Abby?”

“She put a tracker in Gibbs’ wallet and it says it's at your house so we…”

“We’ll discuss this tomorrow Ziva.” She hung up the phone and placed it back in its holder.

“Ziva alright?”

“She’s fine. For now.”

“For now?”

“Hm…you wouldn’t mind if I happened to suspend Abby’s caf-pow privileges would you?”

“And why would you do that?” He inquired wondering if she would actually come and mention her missing journal. 

“An assortment of reasons, but the first is in your wallet.”

“My wallet?” He echoed. She held her hand out for it and he handed it to her. She took it and split the seam. “Jen!” She held up the GPS tracker. “What the…”

“Care to know how it got there?”  
“I’m curious.”

“Ziva picked you, gave it to Abby. Abby implanted the bug and gave it back to Ziva, who replaced it.”

“And you caught her at some point…”

“The replacing part.”

“How…” She glared. “Right…yea that would result in loss of Caff-Pows for a few days.”

“And Ziva?”

“A head slap. In front of DiNozzo.”

“Excellent,” she smiled. He nodded. There was a thought. She was very adorable when she smiled that way. Endearing, sweet. It made him want to wrap his arms around her and figure out ways to make her smile like that all the time. Then again, that smile usually meant she was either a) incredibly happy or b) working up some evil plot of mischief. He was definitely going with b this time.

_So does that make her adorably evil?_ He pondered that thought for a moment. _Yep_ , _good thing she’s not telepathic._ He would never make the mistake of calling her adorable, he was sure it would end in either a tongue lashing or physical slap and for a very slender woman, she packed a mean right hook. His jaw hurt just thinking about it. So he decided she would never hear that thought vocalized, but he was going to continue thinking it, especially if it kept that ridiculous smile on his own face.

“You going to finish that?” Her question cut through his thoughts as she pointed at his half-cut spring roll. He rolled his eyes and slid it on to her plate. She smiled happily and munched on it. _Adorably evil it is._


	5. When I look at you with doubt [Back yourself up]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I even managed to make a Mood Board, link here: https://photos.app.goo.gl/85HEBKXcoetArm2r5
> 
> If anyone has tips on how to include these, let me know.

**When I look at you with doubt** **  
****[Back yourself up]**  
  


He had surprised himself by going home that night. He certainly didn’t think she would offer him her guest bedroom but she had. It had taken a lot of will power to say no, but he had pointed out that if his team had bugged his wallet, who knew what else they’d gotten to and so it would be best if he took his car home. She’d nodded, thanked him for dinner and watched him leave. He’d thought about kissing her cheek but restrained himself not sure exactly how well that would be taken. She seemed impressed by his curious little doings lately and he wanted to figure out what else he could do to impress her. It was certainly a bizarre concept for him, but one he attempted to understand on the short drive home. He finally abandoned the thought process when he reached his house and wandered down into the basement pulling out the journal again. It was difficult only reading one entry a night and he wondered if maybe he should just read it all quickly and get it back to her before she realized Abby and Ziva didn’t have it. Then again, he figured she wouldn’t let anyone know about it and would try and find it herself and since he wasn’t a likely suspect he knew he could keep it. Those thoughts aside he poured himself a glass of bourbon and opened the journal again.

**_Men are impossible. You say one thing and their mind is in the bedroom. Admittedly most people would probably think that of DiNozzo, but Jethro is just as guilty of it. It’s irritating. I tell him I’m flashing back to Paris and he gets this ridiculous smirk on his face and the rest of the conversation will end in innuendos or a fight. This one ended in a fight. Almost._ **

**_McGee had managed to get himself in trouble this time and while I didn’t want to believe that he had shot a cop the evidence was a little hard to ignore. Now given Jethro’s sense of Semper fi loyalty, I was expecting a fight. He’s covered for an agent before and I expected it of him again. So asking him about it was two-fold, one I could support him and two remind him that he couldn’t cover for McGee for forever. Instead, I get a lecture on loyalty and honor and supporting my agents. Thank you very much I do know how to do that!_ **

**_And just when I think I’m winning the fight and he’s gone silent long enough for me to get a few sentences in, that ridiculous smirk comes back and when I ask him what he’s thinking about, he replies. “Paris.” Grant it that word has a whole lot of extra meaning and he could have meant any one of the many exploits we got into I was pretty sure that wasn’t what he was thinking. So when I tell him to get his mind out of the bedroom, I get this glare. You know if he wasn’t thinking that, all he had to say was not what you were thinking or back himself up. Instead he just goes on his ‘gut’ instincts and expects me to follow along. I don’t doubt him professionally, but I’m supposed to have doubts. That’s my job, to make sure nothing happens to the agency or the agents and instead he expects me to just go along with everything he says. Do as I say, not as I do type thing. So even if I trust my own instincts, it’s not worth anything._ **

**_Well then perhaps I’ll ignore the instincts to buy him a dictionary for Christmas. Maybe just get him an index card with the word semantics written on it._ **

_Ouch._ He considered the words she had written. Her stream of conscious style was sometimes pretty hard to follow but he was almost positive he knew what she was talking about. He would admit to using some knowledge against her, the fact that they shared a very passionate past could be useful. She was oblivious to the effect she had on him, or if she wasn’t she certainly didn’t act on it. He didn’t have such ability, and there was always something about her that would be a huge turn on. First, it was the hair, then when she cut it, it was the fact that he could study the back of her neck in detail and contemplate the ideas he had for that part of her, once the hair started to grow out it would be her eyes, or her mouth, her hands (she really had lovely hands), or her shoes, or the way she wore her glasses. It was a very long list and he had found absolutely no ways to counteract the effect. Even when he had been dating Hollis, and both women had been right there, it was a constant comparison. The one time he saw them in the same color, he knew he was in trouble because Jen pulled off that shade of green in a way that probably had males in the building staring at her as well. 

So if she doubted that he was actually thinking innocent thoughts about her (which was probably a good thing to doubt), he knew he was going to have to be a little more explicit. He figured that the next case they had, he would try to include her, and back up the fact that she had good instincts and he was having a bit of trouble with it. That if anything would at least remind her that he did value her instincts and she should trust them. Of course, it could totally backfire because he could remember a time when he’d asked her whose side she was on, and she had told him to give her a hard question. He put the journal down and picked up his sander moving to work on the boat while he considered this further. Maybe if he asked her to do something with him, like go see a movie, or go to dinner or a play, she would have enough doubt for him to back himself up with some superfluous reason that she would hopefully buy. Then he could accomplish two things, one show her he could back himself up, and two spend time with her. He wasn’t quite sure when two had become so important, but as he read this journal he found he really missed the way they used to be. Not just the lovers’ aspect, but also the friends. She had been his best friend, or at least the closet thing he’d ever had to a best friend, not counting Ducky or Fornell. He missed her friendship and he missed her. She seemed to uphold this Director façade more and more lately and he kinda missed her carefree, devil may care attitude she’d once had. _Besides,_ he thought, _even Directors are allowed to do something fun every now and then._

\--

When his phone buzzed early the next morning he glanced up from his place underneath his boat and stared at his phone. Saturday morning, he was off and here he was lying on his boat in his basement. He glanced up and spotted the journal next to his glass of bourbon and alongside that a white envelope filled with tickets Ducky had given him weeks ago, and an idea hit him. Why wait till Monday to work on the journal entry? Director’s had days off too. He glanced at his phone again, _9 am, if she’s not up, she should be._ He opened his phone and hit speed dial three, her home number. It rang twice before he heard her tired voice.

“Shepard.”

“Morning Jen.”

“Jethro?” She sounded surprised.

“Yea…who’d you think it was?” He inquired. 

“At this time, probably Cynthia telling me the world is over. It’s my day off,” she informed.

“What a coincidence, it's mine too,” he replied.

“You don’t believe in coincidences,” she reminded. “So what is it you really want?”

“Well I was thinking of going to that breakfast café before the rush, and since it’s in Georgetown, I thought you might like to tag along.” He could hear her yawn over the phone. “They have good coffee.”

“You better not be sitting outside my window,” she warned tiredly. 

“Nah just getting ready already went for a run.”

“Oh really,” she commented. He nodded before realizing she couldn’t see the nod.

“Yes, every morning.”

“Hm, hm,” she murmured. “I can remember exceptions to that, I’ll be ready in ten minutes.” He heard the dial tone and smiled ten minutes would be fifteen and so he bolted upstairs to shower and change. Ten minutes later he was out his door in the car dressed in jeans and a button-down with a pullover fleece and his boots. He pulled up outside her house five minutes later. He went up to her door knocked but didn’t hear anything.

“Jen?” He said loudly, trying the handle and finding it open. “Jenny?”

“Upstairs, I’m just getting my shoes. I left the door…open,” she said as she appeared at the top of the stairs. 

“You shouldn’t do that,” he reminded. She disappeared into her bedroom and appeared again with her boots done up. She had on jeans and one of those sweater tops she liked. She grabbed her jacket out of the closet and followed him out the front door. He glanced behind them as they pulled out of her street. “You neglected to tell your security detail you were leaving.”

“Oops,” she said. “Knew I forgot something.”

“You used to be much better at remembering things,” he sighed.

“Oh I am, but you never said you were asking the Director to tag along. You asked Jenny and Jenny doesn’t have a detail.” 

“You do realize you’re talking about yourself in the third person.”

“Yes.”  
“You’ve been spending too much time with Abby.” They got out at the café, and walked into the quiet restaurant finding a back corner booth. 

“Always the federal agent,” she teased as he helped her sit beside him instead of across from him. 

“Chocolate chip pancakes?” He asked as he watched her eyes brighten slightly. Chocolate had always been the magic word.

“Sure,” she answered nonchalantly; happy that at least he remembered to order her coffee. “So why the breakfast invite?”

“I told you already,” he said.

“No, you gave me some crappy story about wanting to eat breakfast at a café that we’ve been to a grand total of three times, including this time,” she explained looking at him one eyebrow raised, eyes very suspicious. _All he had to say was not what you were thinking or back himself up,_ he could hear the words echoing in his head. 

“Well…I…see Ducky gave me these tickets to the ballet, and I would go, but I’m not going to go by myself and I thought…since you’re a girl you would like a ballet.”

“Since I’m a girl?” She echoed. He cringed, _wrong choice of words._

“Well you like Swan Lake,” he said, shrugging his shoulders and tried to come up with a more in-depth explanation, a time of little ballerinas came to mind and he half-smiled. When he met her eyes again she was staring at him curiously. “And Kelly wanted to be a ballerina, and so did Mattie, I was kinda going on the assumption that all little girls at some point want to be a ballerina, even when they grow up.” She was silent a moment, taking a sip of her coffee. 

“When’s the ballet?” She asked.

“Tonight, at seven.”

“At the theatre?” He nodded. “I would love to go,” she agreed. 

“Really?”

“You trying to get me to change my mind?” She taunted.

“No, no, just double-checking,” he assured. 

“You do know we can’t wear jeans.”

“Oh well yea, suits and dresses and a tie, got it,” he answered. She smiled, he was trained well, and she was glad he had learned his lessons about the ties. She wasn’t quite sure why this invite was making the butterflies in her stomach, but it was definitely an interesting quandary. The breakfast invite had taken her completely by surprise and after the little bit about Kelly, there was no way she could turn him down. She hated it sometimes. All the time she’d been together she would have given up anything to have him open up to her and the pain upon realizing that she barely knew after the coma was more than she thought she could take. Any little bit of him opening up, especially after the last year and her stunt with Tony was a miracle and something not to be scoffed at. Tickets to a ballet also fell into that category and when he bought breakfast, well, that’s what she called a date. Although there was no way in hell she was saying that out loud. 

After breakfast, they’d gone for a walk around the small part of town just looking at the shops and talking about the team. He was trying to be amusing, and it was working slightly but he could hear the hesitancy in his voice and wondered if she had caused it or any of the women after her had. He had seemed surprised that she hadn’t asked further about Kelly or Mattie and she wondered if that was in part the reason Hollis hadn’t stuck around. He dropped her off at her house around one in the afternoon and said he’d be by at five to get her for a quick dinner. She said nothing, he had the look that said argument was futile and when she inquired if he would actually stay awake for the whole show, he smiled enigmatically and said he’d see her later. It was now ten to five and Jenny was rushing around the house looking for her heels and the right shade of lipstick to go with her wine-colored dress when the phone rang.

“Shit!” She shouted as her toe connected with the table the phone was on. “Shepard.”  
“Jenny, Abby.”

“Hi Abby, everything alright?”

“Oh yea, it's fine, Ziva and I were going to have a chick flick marathon, she hasn’t seen any good ones and we thought you might want to join us,” Abby said.

“Oh that does sound fun, but I have plans for tonight, I’m sorry.”

“Oh,” Abby sighed. “You’re not doing work, are you? That’s not allowed on the weekends!”

“No, no, actually I’m going out. First night out in… god, I can’t remember when.”

“Ooo…are you going out with anyone special?” the young Goth pressed.

“I’m going to the ballet if you must know and I promise to tell you every detail about it.”

“You’re going to the ballet alone?”

“No not alone.”

“So instead of giving details about the performance, how about you give me details on the guy and his performance?” Abby tried. 

“Abby, for the fifteenth hundredth time I’m not seeing anyone.”

“Except Gibbs.”

“What does he have to do with this?”

“Only everything.” Jenny looked up, as there was a knock on the door. 

“It’s open!” She watched Gibbs walk in the door and held up her hand for silence. 

“Oh is your mystery date here?”

“Abby for the last time…”

“I know, I know, not dating anyone. Still, he must be pretty special if you’re willing to miss chick flick marathon.”

“I happen to like ballet.”

“Well that too,” Abby assured. “Goodnight Director.”

“Good night Abby,” she responded, ending the call. “Sorry, she called unexpectedly. I was just about to put on my shoes,” she told him as he stood beside her.

“I didn’t know you and Abby were such good buddies.” She went into her study locating her heels. 

“Something wrong with that. You were the one who said I had to get to know her.”

“Yea…I didn’t think you’d become a sisterhood.”

“Abby needs a female perspective every now and then.”

“There’s Ziva.”

“A non-violent female perspective.”

“Cynthia.”

“Cute Jethro, cute.” He helped her into her coat and out the front door into the car. “Abby is a good friend, I can see why you’re so fond of her.”

“Between you and Ziva she actually does girl talk again.”

“That’s a good thing, I know it was hard for her to lose Kate, but I think this is helping and it’s nice that Ziva has someone else she can consider a friend, a real friend, not just someone willing to use her.”

“You don’t consider yourself her friend?”  
“I do. I just don’t always think she considers me one. Abby’s a nice balance for both of us.”

“Girls.”

“You have your boys club, it’s about damn time there were more females in the building.”

“You know you were the second woman I had on my team.”

“Yes I know and you complained bitterly about it for a month and a half,” she recounted. “And now look you’ve had Paula, Kate, and Ziva on your team. Three very good agents and Abby has been there for years now.”

“Yea.”

“So see women aren’t all bad.”

“Never said they were,” he assured. She nodded sharply. “So about this chick flick marathon I heard about.”

“Just something we do every so often.”

“Wait this is like a normal thing?” Gibbs questioned.

“We try to do something together over the weekend, it started…I guess about the time you went to Mexico.”

“Oh.” She said nothing more, not sure if this was a discussion they were going to table or just ignore completely. It was hard to tell sometimes. When they got out of the car, he tossed his keys to the valet and walked around to meet her. He almost unconsciously put his hand on her lower back guiding her into the theatre. They’d come in early before the press had shown up so that she wouldn’t have to deal with the press, because really she didn’t have her detail, and cameras and flashing lights made spotting a gun difficult. He had his spare clipped to his ankle and if the larger dress bag she carried was any indication she had a gun as well. _Thank god there aren’t metal detectors in this place,_ he thought but he spotted the guards checking the women’s purses. 

“Jethro,” she called gently turning to face him, keeping her wallet in between them. “I’d rather not get arrested.” He nodded, placing the wallet gently in his breast pocket. 

“Not a problem,” he assured her, having done this numerous times with her. She smiled sweetly at the guards as they passed and they kept their focus on her, not him. They passed through and into their box area. 

“That works every time,” she remarked as he handed her back her bag.

“What are you carrying?”

“Thirty-eight,” she answered, turning her attention to the stage. “It’s light enough but effective.”

“Very true.”

“You actually going to stay awake through this?”

“You already asked me that.”

“And you didn’t answer.”

“Oh well then yes, I’ll be sure to stay awake.” She nodded doubting it, but he insisted and she was surprised when by the end of the show he was still awake and nursing his only glass of bourbon. They drove back to her house, him quietly, her gushing about the costumes and the dancing. He admired the work it took to get there and he was sure it could be painful, but he just didn’t understand it sometimes. When they got to her house, he checked it completely before meeting her back at the door, she offered him a nightcap but he said no, he should probably get home. She nodded understandingly and held the door open. 

“Jethro,” she called hesitantly, not entirely sure what her mouth would spew out since her brain had apparently turned off. 

“Hm?”

“I had a lovely time, thank you for taking me, and for telling me about Kelly and Mattie,” she said gently. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek barely before pulling back and trying to keep the blush off her cheeks. 

“Glad you had a good time,” he replied, his eyes still a bit wide. He turned to leave and just as he got to the car turned back and spotted her leaning in her doorway, high heels hanging in one hand. “Hey, Jen?” She looked up at him. “Thanks for listening.”

“Anytime Jethro, anytime,” she answered, waving as he did, he called back to lock the doors and she again nodded closing the door just as he pulled away. She leaned against it and smiled before bolting up her stairs and throwing herself on her bed. She was in very big trouble with herself.

\--

Gibbs leaned against his workbench starring the boat, his tie undone alone with a couple of buttons on the shirt. He replayed the whole day over and over in his head. The brief kiss, it was still on the cheek but it seemed every time her skin came in contact with his, his heartbeat skipped. This time though he felt like he could still smell her perfume and see her lip print. He glanced at the journal again and asked himself for the hundredth time if he was doing what he thought he should be. Parts of him said yes and parts said no, but the no parts were slowly being converted as he read further into her journal. He picked it up and leafed through it again; rereading the entries he’d gotten too. The next one was a bit longer so he figured he’d save it for the morning. He’d want the whole day to sort through this and figure out his next move, cause whether he knew it or not, his focus had changed. He glanced at the entries upcoming and read the titles smiling slightly at some of them. He was going to get Ziva and Abby whatever they wanted for their birthdays this year. 


	6. When I walk away from you mad

**When I walk away from you mad** **  
** **[Follow me]**

Gibbs woke up late that Sunday morning, at least late for him. His phone said it was close to ten in the morning and even though he’d slept almost all the way through the night, he didn’t feel refreshed. Stretching his weary bones, he pushed himself off the concrete floor and wondered if that had anything to do with his lack of good sleep.  _ Jenny would probably think so, _ he thought almost unconsciously and froze. Thinking about her first thing when he woke up could not be a good thing. It certainly wasn’t the thinking of a man over a woman. He wondered if calling her and asking her to breakfast this morning would seem too suspicious.  _ Two invites in two days, yea she’d ask questions,  _ and it wasn’t the questions he really minded, it was the fact he wasn’t sure he had the right answers.  _ Time to get deeper in her head. _ He moved upstairs grabbing a fresh cup of coffee and returned moments later sitting at his workbench opening the journal he had there. He flipped to the new entry and smiled at the first sentence. 

**_Let’s be very honest, Jethro and the media, not a very good combination. Like oil and fire, very, very bad, but I digress. Jethro has this…phobia, shall we say, about award ceremonies and accepting awards. I believe his exact words were, they were pompous, useless wastes of people’s time and precious metal (not that he’s exactly Mr. reusable). He has never shown up to a single award ceremony in the entire time I’ve known him, I don’t know why I thought that me being the one handing out the award would make a difference. He’s trained Tony well though, maybe next time I’ll just give the award to DiNozzo, it would at least get put on display instead of going in a locked box. (And if Tony really thinks he’s the first person to come up with that idea he’s got another thing coming)._ **

**_Usually, Jethro has creative excuses for missing the award ceremonies, this was no exception. After calling him and asking him where he was, he turned up in my office coming up with something about a case that had just come in. When I pointed out that the award ceremony had started a half-hour earlier he gave me some line about anticipating and getting a head start. So it shouldn’t have been a surprise that I was not in a good mood and his fighting with the media did not improve it. I suppose the fact that he felt he’d turned up after the award ceremony was supposed to be redeeming and when I walked away from his desk after working to get the reporter to apologize I was even more irritated. I walked away pissed after some line about how he trusts me. When I glanced back he looked torn between wanting to follow and wanting to know what was on that disk. Should’ve followed._ **

**_After all, I’ve been known to come up with some crazy stunts if I walk away angry. You would think Gibbs of all people would’ve learned that lesson quickly. I only got him arrested the last time it happened._ **

Gibbs stared at the entry for a moment. He couldn’t figure out what she meant. The whole conversation he remembered, the award ceremony he also remembered, it was the Boot Camp Babes case where he’d scuffled with the media and she’d fixed it. He could also count on his hands the number of times he was sure she would kill him if he ever followed her when she walked away pissed. Or was pissed different from mad and therefore following her when she was mad was different from following her when she was pissed off to no end.  _ Semantics, _ he sighed. Although this little revelation at the end, about him getting arrested was food for thought.  _ The only time I remember being arrested with her was…Paris.  _ His mind traveled back to the Parisian street they had been on after they’d found out Ducky was in jail for murdering a French police officer. Jenny had come up with a plan that he’d vetoed and instead decided they would do it his way. 

_ “We’ll just wait for dark and break him out,” he said. _

_ “How are we going to break him out if there’s no one on the inside to tell him what’s happening?” _

_ “Ducky’ll figure it out.” _

_ “I don’t know why we can’t do it my way,” she muttered. _

_ “Because it wouldn’t work.” _

_ “You don’t know that!” She snapped angrily. “If one of us gets arrested for the murder they’d have to figure out who really did it and in the confusion, they’d have to release you both and then we can just sneak out of Paris.” _

_ “Oh really? And just how do we get out of Paris?” _

_ “The English Channel.” _

_ “We’re not swimming it.” _

_ “Idiot there’s a ferry!” She reminded. “It’s less dangerous.” _

_ “There’s nothing dangerous about breaking into the prison. It’s not even a prison, it’s like NCIS headquarters.” _

_“Where there are armed men!”_ _  
__“So what do we get two of us listed as fugitives? Until one of us gets the charges dropped.”_

_ “It obviously wouldn’t be you, you’ll have to be the one arrested.” _

_ “See that’s why it’s a bad plan,” he replied. “It would never work. We already told the police and I have an alibi.” _

_ “Your alibi is me!”  _

_ “It would never work Jen, you’re not that good at ass-kissing.” _

_ “And your idea of politics is shooting people!” _

_ “At least my way gets results!”  _

_ “Oh we’ll see about that!” She shouted, turning on her heel.  _

_ “Fine walk away, I’ll get Ducky out myself!” He shouted after her. He had plotted his moves wondering where she’d disappeared to when he’d come out of a coffee shop only to find himself pushed against the car and cuffed by the French police, he noticed a familiar figure across the street, Jenny. She kept walking and he wasn’t sure if he was proud of her or not. He wasn’t sure why he was being arrested, maybe the cops hadn’t believed the alibi in which case they’d be looking for her and if she ran now, she could get them out later. After being reunited with Ducky inside the jail Ducky had figured it was all part of the grand plan. Gibbs explained it was an accident and hopefully they wouldn’t catch Jenny either. When the cops came back and told them they were free to go for now, but they had to report for court in two days’ time Gibbs was relieved. He and Ducky went outside and turned to head back to the hotel they were all staying in. _

_ “Going somewhere boys?” a figure from the shadows inquired. Ducky turned happy to see the redhead and Gibbs was surprised she had suitcases. _

_ “Maybe we should ask you that Jen,” he replied.  _

_ “Thank you, Jethro, for offering to carry this,” she responded, handing him their duffels before looping her arm with Ducky’s. “Come on we don’t have much time.” _

_ “Time for what?” Gibbs asked. She didn’t answer till they reached a small marina, off on its own was a little boat. “What’s that?” _

_ “Our escape route.” _

_ “Very clever my dear,” Ducky praised.  _

_ “You stole a boat?” Gibbs demanded. _

_ “Commandeered,” she corrected. “Hopefully the French will follow my clues and drop the charges but just in case we’ll be out of France into England where they have a no extradition policy.”  _

He had never considered that she had planned the entire thing. He just figured she was mad and he’d give her some time to cool off and she would be more than willing to go along with his plan afterward.  _ Lesson learned there, _ he swore silently. He was never going to give her an opportunity to do that again. Lest she really get him arrested and not bail him out.  _ So how to make her angry enough to walk away but not piss her off so that castration is the first thing on her mind? _ The thought would fill his mind for the rest of the weekend.

By Monday morning he hadn’t come up with a solution but he wouldn’t let himself progress in the diary until he had. It was part of his craftsman side, he assumed, that wouldn’t let him move one from one step before accomplishing the other. As he entered NCIS headquarters he found to his great surprise the object of his thoughts waiting at the elevator. 

“Director,” he greeted hesitantly, noticing how guarded her eyes were and how tense her body was, like a tiger about to pounce. He did not want to be the victim.

“Agent Gibbs.”  _ Oh, Agent Gibbs…what did I do now? _

“Waiting for someone?”

“Yes, but I’m told he’s just arrived,” she replied stepping on the elevator as he made to step off. He paused in place and stepped back joining her on the elevator. “Something you need to discuss with me, Agent Gibbs?”

“Left something in the car,” he lied effortlessly and knew she didn’t believe it. They both stepped off in the entryway and to Gibbs’ great surprise he found the FBI agent he loved to hate, Tobias Fornell. “Tobias, I think you’re in the wrong building,” Gibbs remarked in greeting. 

“Jethro, I see your Director is going to feed me to the wolf after all,” Fornell sighed loudly glancing at the redhead by his friend. Gibbs looked at Jenny who was doing a remarkable impersonation of a Gibbs’ glare at the FBI agent. 

“No I just forgot something in the car, why what did you do?”

“He took over an NCIS crime scene and now refuses to hand over valuable evidence so he can protect one of his agents,” Jenny informed angrily.  _ Ouch, _ Gibbs winced at her tone. He almost felt bad for Tobias, almost. 

“Director there is a perfectly good explanation for this.”

“I don’t want an explanation, Agent Fornell, I want that evidence and for you to turn over your agent for questioning. I don’t give a damn that he says it was consensual, she made a complaint and we will investigate.”

“She’s sixteen, a teenager with drama issues,” Fornell sighed.

“And he’s thirty-two,” Jenny snapped back, she leaned closer and for a second Gibbs’ wondered if he should hold her back. “I want the evidence on my desk by the end of business today or your Director is going to be hearing from higher up the food chain than SecNav.”

“It’ll take…”

“No excuses.” She turned on her heel and headed for the stairwell walking faster in the high heels than he’d seen her do in a while. 

“Nicely done Fornell,” Gibbs complimented sarcastically before genius struck.  _ After all, I’ve been known to come up with some crazy stunts if I walk away angry, _ Gibbs repeated to himself.  _ YES! Don’t even have to get her angry!  _ “Nicely done indeed.” And he turned heel and walked off quickly in the same direction Jenny had. 

“Thanks for the support Jethro,” Tobias called out. Gibbs waved and ducked into the stairwell hearing the rhythmic click of high heels rapidly ascending the stairs. She sure was walking fast and not aiming for her office. Gibbs followed as fast as he could, his knees protesting. When he reached the top of the stairs he noticed the door to the roof cracked open and he slipped out to find her standing in the center of the roof surveying the Navy Yard.  _ A Queen on her throne _ , he thought amused for a minute, till he heard her deep sigh. 

“Jen?” She looked over surprised to find him hesitantly standing near the doorway, keeping his distance, but still keeping an eye on her. 

“I know, I shouldn’t be out here in plain view of a sniper,” she remarked turning away again. “I’ll be in, in five minutes.” She expected him to leave at that but instead, he sat down against the wall and watched her. “You can’t give me five minutes?”

“You can have all the time you want, pretend I’m not here.” She sighed deeply inhaling the cool air. “You also don’t have your coat.”

“I’m not cold,” came the automatic response. Sometimes he was sure she disagreed with him for the sake of disagreeing with him.

“Wanna talk about it or do you just want me to arrest him for interfering?”

“You can’t arrest Fornell, legally he did nothing wrong, he’s just making things difficult.”

“Well it’s one of his agents isn’t it?”  
“Apparently one he knew when the guy first started. They don’t work together.”

“And…”

“And a Naval Commander’s sixteen-year-old daughter reported rape by this guy. He claims it was consensual.”

“And you believe the girl?”

“She’s sixteen, he’s thirty-two.” 

“You mentioned that.”

“If it was consensual I’d like to bring the parents up on charges of stupidity.”

“But you don’t think it was?”

“No, I don’t.” 

“Well Fornell’s trying to protect an agent.”

“I understand that, but there are just some things…would you protect anyone on your team if they were charged with this?”  
“No.”

“See…how can Fornell defend this guy?”

“So what drastic measures are you taking?”

“Oh I’ve called the Director of the FBI and the SecNav and let them duke it out, told SecNav the FBI director hung up on me. If they can’t resolve it, I’ll call some friends.”  
“ A very diplomatic solution,” he agreed.

“I suppose,” she answered. “So my security detail is looking for me?”

“Not that I know of why?”

“Oh I thought they sent you up here to find me.”

“I followed you after you walked away mad. Wouldn’t want you to do anything drastic, like have him arrested or something.” She smirked.

“You’re not likely to forgive me, are you?”

“Forgive you what? I was talking about arresting Fornell without me there to watch.”

“Oh…well then never mind,” she said walking back towards him and the door. He smirked slightly,  _ fell right into it.  _

“Course if you want to explain to me why the French police thought my alibi was false and arrested me for murder I’m all ears.” She met his eyes suspiciously before smiling sweetly.

“Guess they didn’t believe me,” she responded reentering the stairwell. 

“Uh-huh, likely story,” he muttered. She walked down the stairs carefully, he kept pace beside her and stopped at the landing for her floor. She opened the door and she nodded a quiet goodbye. “Hey, Jen?”

“Yes Jethro,” she answered, pausing in the door glancing over her shoulder at him.

“If they didn’t believe you, how come you got the charges dropped?”  
“Must be luck,” she replied laughing quietly as she walked out on to the catwalk. 

“Lucky my ass,” he snorted continuing down to the bullpen. He stayed there only a few minutes, surprised to see Fornell standing in front of his desk at that time. “Tobias.”

“Jethro.”

“Something I can do for you?”

“Deliver this to your director, the FBI agent is in custody.”

“You sure you don’t want to deliver it yourself?”  
“With my luck, she’ll have me arrested for interference and you’ll help.” He turned and left Tony, Ziva, and McGee watching him go. 

“Hey Boss can the Director really arrest him?” 

“You wanna find out DiNozzo?” He inquired, slapping the backside of his head.

“No Boss, not at all.”

“Didn’t think so, Ziva watch them.”

“Yes Gibbs.” Gibbs headed for the stairs stopping on the landing.

“Oh and Ziva?”

“Yes, Gibbs?”  
“The Director was inquiring if you had seen something of hers lately…” he trailed off leaving it suggestive.

“I wouldn’t know what she’s looking for Gibbs,” Ziva assured. “Perhaps Abby could help you.”

“That’s what I thought,” Gibbs remarked.  _ So Abby was the one who dropped it back off, hopefully, Ziva will go ask her about it and then they’ll both panic and look for it without letting Jenny realize they don’t have it.  _ Gibbs walked past Cynthia’s desk and entered Jenny’s office finding her reading through files. 

“Didn’t I just see you?”

“Fornell stopped by, dropped this off for you.” He placed the box on Jenny’s desk.

“Good, nice to know someone takes me seriously.” He wrinkled his brow in temporary confusion. 

“I take you seriously.”

“Did I say otherwise?” She inquired.

“You just implied…” he trailed off studying her for a moment.  _ Back yourself up _ , a little voice that sounded suspiciously like hers whispered in his mind. “I take you very seriously, I know what you’re capable of.” He wanted to slap himself as soon as the words left his mouth.  _ That could so be taken the wrong way! _ Apparently she thought so as well because her head snapped up her eyes widening for a second as if trying to figure out if he’d really said that or not.

“And what exactly am I capable of Jethro?” She questioned her eyes narrowing, daring him to answer that with personal details. He was not stupid enough to take the bait.

“Well uh…” If he used the details from the Paris arrest he would have to defend that he’d figured it out on his own, otherwise she would know he read her journal and he wouldn’t want to face the repercussions of that. “You were a good field agent,” he commented. “Stands to reason you would just use those skills as Director right?”

She studied him and watched as he swallowed. He knew he’d walked himself into trouble and while the reasons he gave weren’t terrible she was almost positive that wasn’t what he was thinking about. He looked rather nervous to her, and she hid her smile only to have it leave as a knock sounded on the door. Tony’s head peaked around the door hesitantly.

“Uh Director, we got the go signal, and was wondering if we could have Gibbs back.”

“Grab your gear, have McGee gas the truck,” Gibbs ordered, never happier to see Tony. Jenny watched as DiNozzo stood and waited for Gibbs at the doorway, ready to jump at Gibbs’ next order.  _ Quite the loyal St. Bernard,  _ she mused. She glanced at her computer update of cases and smirked. It was some tiny infraction that Gibbs would usually let his team handle without him. She sat back in her chair sending an email to the team handling the rape case and glancing over her office. There sitting on the corner of her desk was Gibbs’ coffee.  _ Ha! He was so eager to leave he left behind his coffee, well wonders never cease. _ She quickly grabbed it and took a long sip; she glanced down at the day and noticed that Gibbs must have been following the journal entry by entry. She could only imagine what he was going to do next. 


	7. When I start cursing at  you

**When I start cursing at you** **  
** **[Kiss me and tell me you love me]**

After Tony had rescued him from sticking his foot farther into his mouth, it took him only five minutes to realize that in his haste he’d left his coffee. He figured she would enjoy it and so simply went and got more for himself. The case was a tad more gory than usual; running a body through a wood chipper would do that. He’d sent his team to get some rest. There was nothing that could really be done until Ducky got them some sort of an image to go with. He decided to go home as well and have another peek at the diary. He was certainly learning more about Jenny and at the same time, he felt like learning more about her translated into being closer to her as well, which was a good thing considering he’d thought long and hard about it. Sure things hadn’t worked out the first time but she was the only woman he’d really loved since Shannon and as painful as that was to admit it was a step in the right direction. She didn’t ask questions, she didn’t push as Hollis had, and she understood his work habits and the boat building. He rather wondered why he hadn’t thought of this all before, and considered the fact that this time around he’d know her plans and they could work out the mistakes they’d made in the past. He went straight back to the basement on arrival to his house and opened the diary back up rereading the previous entries. He then flipped to the new one and began studying the next stone in the wall around Jennifer Shepard. 

**_God damn stubborn man._ **

He was going to guess this was about him. 

**_Is it so difficult to get along with the media? Is it so hard to imagine that any bad press ends up at my feet and I’m the one who has to explain it to the higher-ups? NO! Of course, it’s too difficult especially for HIM. Really I get that this whole Boot Camp Babes is a stupid show, I do. I get that the media would be following it like bloodhounds but at the same time I thought for sure he could handle himself as a responsible NCIS agent. Apparently I was mistaken. One stupid blonde reporter breaks Rule 23 and all hell breaks loose._ **

So what do you know, it was about him. He couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. 

**_Let’s see first he doesn’t even say a thing about the hair cut or perhaps this is in retaliation for it. Damn man, I can do whatever I want to my hair and he really has no say over it. So what if he liked it long? It was beginning to annoy me. That all aside he still could have apologized to her and what do I get?_** ** _  
_**_“You want to help? Then get me her number!”_ _  
__“You’re going to apologize?”_ _  
__“NO, ask her to dinner.”_

**_I shouldn’t care that he wants to take that blonde witch to dinner. Really I shouldn’t. He can date whomever he wants just like I can, but a reporter? She’s not even a redhead! So as usual, I took care of it and as usual, it only got worse from there. He doesn’t trust me. Which I suppose isn’t something I should be surprised about, but it hurts all the same. Not to mention the Dear John letter that turned up in the case, which probably didn’t help either of us. See he thinks I don’t regret it, he thinks I don’t care, he thinks I’m incapable of it._ **

**_It’s not like it didn’t bother me. It did, but she had to do what was best for her, just like I had to do what was best for me. It didn’t mean I had to like it, but apparently that’s a foreign concept. Sometimes I wish he would give me a reason to go off on him. He always had the perfect solution to end fights. If I ever got to cursing he would just pull me to him and kiss me. Half the time I forgot what we were fighting about and the other half the time he told me that he was my bastard and so I should just accept it. I never minded. Perhaps if I should do it, one day when the fighting just gets the point where I’m going to hit him, just kiss him instead. Hm…not like he isn’t a good kisser._ **

The end piece was scratched out but it was completely gone. He could still read the words that brought an egotistical smile to his face.  _ So I’m a good kisser. Ha, I could have told her that! Let’s see options. Need options.  _ He could piss off a reporter; God knew they would be following his team around with this new case. She might get angry enough, but still, he wouldn’t want her to do anything drastic, after all, she could still fire him. This would require subtly, he couldn’t make it seem like anything more than his usual hatred of the press and rules. On the other hand, he could always just go up and kiss her one day for the hell of it.  _ What’s the worst that could happen?  _ He didn’t want to think about that as a vision of her with a knife swept before his eyes. Second thought, he’d stick with irritating her; it would probably result in less bodily harm and blood. 

Of course, as he considered his options he realized he was about to shove them out of their tentative arrangement of tolerance. If he kissed her, at least how he was planning on kissing her, that was something he couldn’t take back. They could write it off as a mistake that never happened but still, something would be different. So maybe if he didn’t quite kiss her, just sort of kissed her. He was sorely tempted to read ahead and see if a real kiss wouldn’t be welcomed but he had made himself a deal and he was not going to break it. Judging by the entry she had regrets, whatever the hell that meant. He still hadn’t quite gotten over finding a Dear John letter, in his bitterness, he was almost glad she regretted before regretting that thought. He may not have understood what was going through Jennifer Shephard’s mind that night but he couldn’t exactly blame her. He was difficult to get along with and the fact that they’d lasted so long was a surprise in and of itself.  _ Enough,  _ he snapped at himself.  _ This isn’t helping. _ He needed to focus on the entry and figure out what he was going to do. 

As it turned out however he wasn’t going to need his well thought out plans. He entered the squad room with a fresh cup of coffee the following morning to find his team the subject of his favorite redhead’s wrath. He contemplated turning around going back to the elevator and coming back in five minutes when she was sure not to be there. It was useless as McGee pointed by Jenny towards him. He made a mental note to give that boy a good whack to the back of the head. Tony was too much of a bad influence. Jenny spun on her heel to face him and he was almost positive there was smoke flowing from her ears. He glared at his team trying to figure out what they had done to piss her off. 

“Special Agent Gibbs.”

“Director.”

“My office, now!” She snapped turning and marching up the stairs. He followed dutifully stopping near DiNozzo to whack his head. 

“I will deal with you three later,” he warned and watched happily as they gulped and turned to their paperwork. He climbed the stairs to the second floor slowly and walked past Cynthia, the younger woman having a surprisingly sweet smile plastered across her face. He guessed it was the ‘she’s really going to get him now’ smile. Gibbs entered the office and found Jenny standing in front of her desk.

“Shut the door.”

“Do I have to?” Jenny walked past him and shut the door. He followed her with his eyes as she came back to lean against the front of her desk.

“Agent Gibbs am I or am I not the Director of this agency?”

“Last I checked it, said Director Shepard,” he replied wondering where this was going.

“So when you get a new high profile case don’t you think as Director I might want to know so I’m not dodging the 6 am news?” She inquired.

“I was going to inform you of the details this morning.”

“And why exactly did the Press know before we released.”

“They were there when we got there Jen, I have no idea who called them.”

“Did you or did you not tell the Press to go to hell?”

“I don’t remember saying those exact words.”

“This isn’t funny Gibbs! SecNav is screaming for answers and all I can tell him is this is the first I’m hearing about a woman found run through a wood chipper!”

“We don’t have a lot to go on Jen, we only found the remains. There was no wood chipper, there’s no way to know if she’s even from here until Ducky and Abby get answers,” he explained. 

“Does that excuse your behavior to the press this morning?” She turned on the TV and Gibbs found his morning coffee stunt plastered over her plasma. He’d had an unfortunate run-in with the press at the coffee shop and it had resulted in words that he didn’t think we’re all that important. How was he supposed to know they were filming? 

“I didn’t know they were filming.”

“The next time reporters ask you a question I expect that you will at the very least try and not give them the impression that NCIS hates the press.”

“We do hate the press and you didn’t do such a good job this morning either.” He said watching as the tape continued to her being besieged by reporters as she left her house. She shut the tape off. “So why don’t you do what you usually do.”

“Believe it or not my job does entail more than cleaning up after you!” She snapped. “I warned you the last time this happened.”

“C’mon Jen, you know the press and I don’t get along.”

“Oh I know and quite honestly I don’t care. You will give a public apology when I have my press conference.”

“Um…no.”  
“That was not debatable.”

“I’m not doing it Jen.”

“You are such an immovable bastard,” she responded, losing her patience. He had to smirk as a few other explicits left her mouth. Oh, he knew what the real cause was now. She’d woken up with a monthly present. He knew better than to comment on that and was sure he was going to have to restrain Tony more than usual, but it explained the surprising anger. It also left him with a perfect opening. “Are you even listening to a word I’m saying?” He put his hands on her shoulders holding her still and her green eyes flashed dangerously. He leaned in as close as he could without actually touching her skin.

“I may be a bastard, but I’m the best one you know. Go buy yourself one of those fancy drinks you like so much.” He pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth and pulled away leaving. She stood silent and quite shocked at what had just happened. The sound of her door closing was what finally forced her feet to move and she threw the door open. Cynthia stood up startled and was cut off as Jenny stormed past her and out onto the catwalk. She spotted Gibbs standing in the middle of his team area apparently scolding them quite severely before sending them off to get evidence. She watched for a minute, her hand unconsciously touching the spot where she was sure his lips had been.  _ When I start cursing at you, kiss me, lesson mastered _ , she thought with a faint smile. She looked back down to find Gibbs watching her before he turned back to his team, and she was sure she caught a smirk.  _ Well done Jethro, well done. _

  
  



	8. When you see me at my worst

**When you see me at my worst** **  
****[Tell me I’m beautiful]**

_Kiss, don’t kiss. Kiss…No kiss. Let’s see choices…I could call him up here…NO that’s too obvious. Not giving him that ego stroke. I could have Cynthia call him up here! Then he’ll think I’m pissed about the kiss and there won’t be a repeat. BUT there doesn’t need to be a repeat. Oh sure Jenny…keep deluding yourself._

“Director?” Cynthia’s voice cut through Jenny’s daydreams, and her head shot up, the pencil she had been bending snapping. “Oh, Director! Are you alright?”

“Fine, Cynthia, you just startled me,” Jenny answered. “Something the matter.”

“Agent Gibbs is waiting outside for your decision on the press conference,” the younger woman informed.

“Oh, that’s…wait, come again?” 

“Kind of a surprise to me too, he asked very politely if you were free to discuss your decision regarding the wood chipper case.”

“Really?” Jenny said. Cynthia nodded and held open the door as Jenny stood and glanced at the waiting couch. Sure enough, Gibbs was sitting outside, holding a case file. “Agent Gibbs.”

“Director, I was wondering if you had a free moment,” Gibbs inquired. She nodded, stunned, and not quite over his last visit to her office to say anything. She stepped aside, and he entered her office as Jenny and Cynthia exchanged puzzled looks. 

“Cynthia…”

“Yes?”

“Would you double-check with his team, make sure he hasn’t hit his head or something?” Jenny suggested, Cynthia nodded and left, leaving Jenny to her newest dilemma. “Agent Gibbs?”

“We have a few leads on an identity. Ducky and Abby are working as fast as they can. We’ve scoped out the crime scene and searched for witnesses, no one heard anything or saw anything, you know the usual.”

“And you’re telling me all this because?” 

“You asked to be informed,” he reminded. 

“Right,” she agreed. _Not quite what I was expecting._ “Well, thank you for the update. I trust you’ll continue to inform me.”

“Of course, Director.” He moved the one hand that had been behind his back and set down an iced drink on her desk. “Later, Jen,” he said, heading for the door. Jenny took one glance at the drink and read the label. _Iced double mocha macchiato with a triple shot…I’ll take that and a kiss, please!_ She immediately banished that thought and stood to catch Gibbs. He was just passing Cynthia’s desk. 

“Jethro.”

“Hm?”

“This doesn’t get you out of the press conference,” she informed. 

“You would think I would actually attempt to bribe you?” He sounded quite offended. She laughed.

“No, I know you would, not happening, see you this afternoon.” He passed Cynthia as he moved down the stairs, Jenny’s soft laughter following, no doubt over whatever it was that Cynthia had been sent to do. His team, on the other hand, was watching with amusement that they unsuccessfully hid as he approached.

“What ‘s so funny?”  
“Nothing, Boss,” Tony assured him. “Nothing at all.” WHACK. “Thank you, Boss.”

“DiNozzo, learn to be a better liar,” He scolded. “McGee results?”

“Nothing so far, Boss I…” Gibbs tuned out the Geek Speak, merely watching as he clicked through things on the plasma. His attention was dragged upwards as he spotted Jenny crossing the catwalk, her beloved drink tightly clasped in one hand. In all honesty, he had been somewhat surprised he hadn’t kissed her again, but he figured twice in three hours was probably overdoing it. She also hadn’t mentioned the kiss, and he wasn’t sure if this was a bad or good thing. She had undoubtedly seemed surprised to see him waiting outside her door instead of his usual MO, and she seemed pleased he’d brought her a drink she loved. The rest of it all he was a little fuzzy on though, he needed that damn book. 

“Gibbs?” Ziva’s voice cut into his thoughts, and he turned to glare. “Ducky has something.” 

Gibbs said nothing simply turned and headed for autopsy, his team following behind. An hour later, they were back in the squad room, the team running down leads and possible identifications.

“I’m going for coffee,” he announced and moved towards the elevator. He stopped in the car park to get his parka jacket and found underneath it the book he’d been so desperately reading through. _Convenient,_ he laughed. _I can have coffee and a quiet read._ He wasn’t much of a reader, to begin with, but for this, he’d make exceptions. He ordered his beverage of choice and sat down at the table in the corner with a nice view of the door just in case his team came looking or worse, Jen decided she needed a refill. He opened the journal to the next entry and began to laugh as he read the capitalized letters.

**_I HATE BEING SICK. It’s not fun in any way, but what I hate even more is having an assistant who notices when you’re sick and threatens to tell your former partner just so you’ll go home and rest. I love Cynthia to bits, really, but she’s just too damn observant for her own good._ **

He chuckled as he read her words. He’d have to remember that Cynthia was so good at observation. _It can come in handy._ Though he couldn’t actually fathom the young woman making good on her threat to tell him anything regarding the Director’s personal life. As much as he might enjoy that, Cynthia was just too damn loyal. 

**_And he still managed to find out. Correction, he sought out the information because he was wondering why I hadn’t been around to yell at him for losing two of his agents, one being my particular friend. Quite honestly, I’m rather surprised his little protégé Anthony DiNozzo survived being in an entrapped space with Ziva, or rather surprised that he didn’t make a move on her and get castrated. However, instead of Gibbs calling or emailing (God forbid he learn technology), he shows up uninvited on my doorstep at a quarter after midnight with a bottle of bourbon and a smirk._ **

The memories were soon becoming quite clear to Gibbs. He at first had had a hard time pinpointing her references, but he was going to guess that this one involved her little sick day when Tony and Ziva got stuck in a boxcar together. He had in all honesty been wondering why she wasn’t butting into his case, but after finding out that she was sick, his amusement had gone to worry because Jenny Shepard didn’t get sick, or at least didn’t acknowledge it. However, that night he had found her red nose, pale cheeks, and bleary eyes absolutely adorable. It had taken all his self-control not to dote on her, and even later that night, he’d found himself washing her dishes and jumping up to get things for her. It was his first alarm in a series that told him he was well on his way to falling back in love with her. 

**_He has the nerve to say I look like death warmed up! Way to charm a woman Jethro. It’s not like he hasn’t seen me sick before, rather he had his own ideas on how to cure those colds, but then he just simply glanced over me, pushed his way in the house, plopped down in my study and offered me a drink. I couldn’t even get out a response before he started telling me about his case and how it resulted in two of his agents being fired upon. Except for the entire time he was talking, he wouldn’t look at me at all. Talk about a blow to self-esteem. He used to be attracted to me; even when I was sick, he would look at me like I was some sort of divine being all for him and now…sheesh talk about being kicked while you’re down. Is it so hard to say, ‘Jenny, you don’t look so good, are you feeling okay?’ Apparently, it is! Instead, I get ‘You look like death, this why you weren’t at work?’ EXCUSE ME, but last I checked, I was the Director and could take off days if I wanted to! It was my first day off in years, and even then, I worked from home and still got the most irritating Agent in my entire agency to drop in unannounced. (Question why is he the only one that does that? Oh right, because he used to stay there). This time, however, he simply drove me to the point of insanity where I told him I was going to bed (didn’t even get a sarcastic comment), and he just kept on going on. I left him downstairs, and I guess he must have left sometime after, and then when I’m feeling better, and everyone’s ‘You look much better today,’ (hell even DiNozzo commented) I don’t even get a Hi Jen. Bastard._ **

Gibbs closed the book and took a long sip of his coffee, trying not to choke as he withheld laughter. She’d either written this while she was still sick or in a seriously bad mood. He didn’t want to guess which one it was. He certainly remembered not commenting, mainly because he was sure something along the lines of a kiss would have followed, and he still had her words of “no off the job” ringing in his ears. He thought it was at least good that he stopped to check up on her. So he wasn’t nice in telling her she didn’t look so good, what was she expecting? If she seriously thought he wasn’t the least bit affected by her even covered in germs, she was mistaken. If anything, her miserable state had made him want to cuddle, and he didn’t usually do cuddling. _So…let’s see, go upstairs tell her she looks nice…nah after the kiss that might seem a bit more like a maneuver to get out of the press conference. Speaking of which…_ He felt his phone vibrate and picked it up to find Jen’s cell on display.

“Gibbs.”

“Where are you?”

“Getting coffee.”  
“The press conference starts in five minutes; if you’re not here, you will regret it.” He heard the dial tone and smirked. He’d taught her well. He meandered his way back to NCIS, a walk that took approximately three minutes, another one to get up the elevator to her office and stepped off to find her waiting to step on. 

“Director.”

“Press conference room is on the ground floor of Agent Gibbs, though I realize it’s possible for you to get lost since you’ve never actually been there,” she sniped. He resisted the urge to chuckle and stepped aside, allowing her to step on. He wasn’t dumb enough to push her buttons today. Four wives had taught him that along with his own previous experience with her. He followed her dutifully, still not sure what she was going to make him do. Cynthia was waiting in the wings and handing Jenny a brush real quick while another lady looked her over. 

“You’ll do,” she responded in a dismissive tone. “We should’ve done makeup, though.”

“Next time Rachel,” Jenny responded. “More like over my dead body,” she muttered after the woman had left.

“Don’t like the makeup crew?” She ignored him. Another woman, blonde and leggy, stepped up batting her eyelashes at him, and he smiled approximately, _now if she were a redhead…_ He caught Jenny’s glare as the woman introduced herself; he missed her name. 

“Now, Mister Gibbs.”

“Agent Gibbs,” he heard Jenny correct.

“Oh…Agent Gibbs, you’ll stand to the right of the Director, and she’ll step aside when it's your turn to speak.” _Would it be inappropriate to hold Jenny in place so she can’t move aside?_ One look at Jenny, however, told him his thought process had been guessed, and to try it would be death, and given her state, homicide was easily accomplished. “It’ll be so nice to have such a good looking man on TV for a change,” the blonde continued, and he heard Jenny exhale sharply. The blonde finally gave the go command, and he followed Jenny out onto the raised platform. He listened to her assure the press that the situation was being handled as efficiently as possible, and there was no reason to suspect that this was more than an isolated event. She introduced him but did not move aside, and so he stood stoically by her side, ignoring the idea that if the price were a few press conferences, he wouldn’t mind standing by her side. She closed the press conference quite quickly and declined to answer questions stepping off the platform, and he let her move ahead of him. Cynthia was waiting for them in the wings.

“Director, it looks like it went well,” Cynthia informed. “Although Ms. Peterson is not happy with you.”

“And why is that Cynthia?”

“Apparently she was expecting an apology, she actually suggested that you were hogging the limelight,” Cynthia remarked. 

“Well, we wouldn’t want to cause any more conflict with the press now, would we?” Jenny replied to which both women chuckled quietly, and Gibbs stood in amazement. He had no doubt she had been planning to make him apologize to the press, it was certainly in her power, and yet the second this Ms. Peterson woman showed an interest, she was quite happy to make it very clear that she was in charge and controlled the entire scene. _Bow to her creative ingenious and her jealous streak. I like this jealous streak,_ he decided. He followed the two up to the second floor and stood silently behind her as Jenny gave specific orders not to be disturbed, and Cynthia nodded dutifully. He followed Jenny into the office, noticing Cynthia’s glare along the way. Jenny saw him close the door and glanced from him to the door. “Your hearing must be getting worse.”

“Hm?”

“I thought I just said I didn’t want to be disturbed,” Jenny said.

“Oh well…I figured you meant other agents.”

“You would,” she muttered. 

“After all, we go way back. It’s not like I haven’t dealt with your homicidal urges before.” He plopped himself down in the chair in front of her. She leaned across her desk.

“What exactly should the reason be for me not to direct those urges to you?”  
“You’d miss me,” he assured.

“Miss what?” She inquired archly. He feigned hurt.

“Low blow Jen, very low,” he whined. He could see she was about to respond when she pulled back and bit her lip no doubt in a sign he knew meant she was suppressing pain. Okay, so he had forgotten something about their time together, of all the women he’d known she always suffered the worse at this time. _Knives stabbing into her, think that’s what she said_ , he recalled. He got up and went behind her, opening the drawer where her gun was and pulling out the package of Midol. He popped out two of the pills, put them in her hand, and held out his coffee. She glared. “Take them, Jen.”

“Fine,” she sighed, not happy about it. She swallowed the two pills with a gulp of coffee as a chaser. “These things really don’t work.”

“I could get Ducky to get you something else?”

“No.” She pushed against the spot that was bothering with her hand. He felt bad enough that he couldn’t stop the pain, so he toyed with her hair for a little bit as it was a convenient distraction. He noticed the pin she had in it and pulled it on, watching happily as her hair came down. He glanced around to meet the ‘look.’

“Pretty. I think you should wear it like this more often,” he said before getting up pocketing the pin and heading for the door. “Later, Jenny.”

She sat back in her chair, noticing he’d again left his coffee by her. _Pretty. He said pretty._ She fingered the strands of her hair that weren't as red and luminous as it had once been. _He thinks it's pretty_ , she would, of course, ignore the warm feeling that went spreading through her, but if she happened to have a smile for the rest of the day, well, that was fine. She couldn’t imagine what he’d do next.

  
  



	9. When I tease you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, remember how I said I started this ten years ago. We've reached the transition point. This chapter was half-finished for 10 years and I finished last year. Everything after this was then written last year...so if it seems like there are things missing or there's a change in direction blame the fact that I couldn't remember the full plotline. Sorry in advance.

**When I tease you**

**[Tease me back and make me laugh]**

The team looked up in surprise as Gibbs walked over to his desk. The three glanced from each other to their silver-haired father and back at each other. Gibbs seemed oblivious to the attention, and so Tony made pointed glances to both his team members and all that was heard was clicking on the keyboard as they settled in to ‘work.’

\--

**DiNozzo_AnthonyDiNozzo** ** _has signed in._**

**NinjaDavid** ** _has signed in_**

**Elflord** ** _has signed in_**

**D_AD:** **_Did we miss something?_ **

**ND:** **_I’m telling you there is nothing going on._ **

**EF** **_: And she tells you everything._ **

**ND:** **_No, she tells Abby._ **

**D_AD:** **_Missing the point, people! The Boss is smiling. Not just the smirk or the ‘Fornell is dead’ half upper lip thing, not the Abby-smile, an actual honest to god smile. He just got some…fifty says the director._ **

**ND:** **_You do know she has her own account to stalk._ **

**EF:** **_Spy Ziva._ **

**D_AD:** **_LET HER! I wanna know what the Lady boss has to say about this!_ **

**REASON412** ** _has signed in._**

**REASON412:** **_DiNozzo, don’t you have work to do?_ **

**D_AD:** **_That all depends on who you are._ **

“DiNozzo!”

“Yea Boss?” Tony looked up unsuspecting and felt his head snap forward. “Ouch,” he muttered, glaring at his giggling teammates. A blackberry dangled in front of him.

“Next time DiNozzo, watch your back,” Jenny informed, walking back towards the staircase.

“Boss! She just…”

“She’s the Director, DiNozzo.”

“Yea, but…” Gibbs glared at Tony, who sunk further in his chair.

**D_AD:** **_They are totally doing it._ **

**DiNozzo_AnthonyDiNozzo** ** _has signed out._**

“Honestly, Tony,” Ziva sighed as if speaking to a small child.

“You were in there too,” Tony reminded.

“DiNozzo! Work!”

“On it, boss!”

“I’m going for coffee; I want answers when I get back. “

“Answers?”

“An ID would be a good start, DiNozzo!”

“Right, Boss!” Gibbs moved to the elevator pulling his coat on and glancing back at his team with a heavy sigh. The only good thing was Abby and Ziva hadn’t seemed to be plotting anything. Meant he had more time, at least until he noticed the signs of a paranoid Jenny Shepard, which admittedly had been hard to distinguish from the usual behavior lately. _And that’s what she gets for going into politics_.

\--

Gibbs found the team standing around the plasma when he got back, Jenny disappearing into her office, obviously having been eavesdropping on the conversation. He walked back to his desk, putting his coat down while the team turned and fought over who would go first. _Puppies._

“Ziva.”

“Gibbs, it appears that the woman was a caucasian redhead approximately five foot eight, a hundred and twenty pounds…”

“But it’s all pretty much a shoot in the dark, Jethro,” Ducky finished appearing around the desks. Gibbs glanced over. “The bones were far to badly damaged. I can’t even tell you if she was dead before she went through the wood chipper, or how long she’s been dead.”

“So?”

“Well, Abby ran the DNA and found a female, tried to compare it to known genes looking for any noticeable defects, but there were no hits. She’s still looking,” McGee answered, trying to make it uncomplicated.

“So we have?”

“Nothing,” Tony answered. “Checked missing persons, no one missing, in a thirty-mile radius from where we found the remains, could be his playground?”

“Then expand the search area,” Gibbs ordered.

“Did that Boss, still nothing.”

“What about the wood chipper?”

“Tracked it down to a company supply center, one was stolen a month ago, matches the serial number of ours.”

“Leads on that?”

“Metro has none.”

“Yea, pretty shoddy police work on that too, Boss,” DiNozzo inserted.

“Ducky, professional opinion, what are the odds this guy has run?”

“Little, Jethro. He’s an artist and a gamer. He’s enjoying watching us try and track him down. It won’t be easy, but eventually, he’ll want to be caught, they all do.”

“Fine, go home, get rest, McGee get Abby out of here. I’ll see you all back here at zero-eight.” There were no comments after that, just the rushing of feet to the elevator. Gibbs sat back in his chair, staring at the ceiling. “Duck.”

“Jethro?”

“Is this the perfect crime?”

“It seems that way; perhaps you just need to look at it from a new angle.”

“I can’t find a new one, this guys is good.”

“You’re better, Jethro. You’ll get him.”

“Good night, Duck.”

“You know perhaps you need a new pair of eyes, someone who might be able to see a different perspective,” Ducky suggested with a meaningful glance towards the stairs. Gibbs said nothing just watched Ducky head back down to autopsy. It was nearly twenty minutes later when he smelt the exotic combination that usually preluded her arrival.

“Contemplating the ceiling?” She inquired, sounding serious.

“Thinking.”

“Hm…a terrible thing, I understand it causes headaches.”

“You’re all laughs, Jen,” he said a bit snappier than he intended. He felt her step back up and tense.

“Well, perhaps when you’re done, you’ll consider doing what I actually pay you to do,” she bit back. He felt her retreat and waited for the elevator ding to slam his fist onto the table. _Stupid._ He glanced around and found himself in the empty bullpen. He reached into the desk and pulled out the ‘Guide to Jenny’ as he decided to call it. _All right, there has to be a way in here to get out of the doghouse._

**_I like to laugh, which is stupid because everyone wants to laugh obviously. When people are happy, they laugh. I just tend to laugh more when he decides to tease me. And not the other kind of teasing (althoughhe’sgoodatthattoo) just verbal teasing. Bantering is the actual definition. I think Ducky calls it foreplay. (Thoughts you aren’t supposed to be having Jenny)._**

Gibbs looked up and around with a broad smile he knew was going to reappear the second he saw her again.  _ Two references in one paragraph, I am that good. _ Any thoughts he may have had on surviving her wrath if she ever found out he had this left after this. There was no way she’d let him live with that information to lord over her.

**_Basically, that’s our relationship summed up. We can’t stop fighting; it’s part of the attraction. First time I met him, I was sure I was going to hit him. I mean let’s just start with the Jen, it’s Jenny I always corrected him and did he listen? NO. Always, Jen, he had other uses for Jenny. He teased me about my clothes, my ideas, the fact I actually (god forbid) like politics, a matter of fact the only thing he hasn’t teased me about is my hair, and that is probably because he likes redheads._ **

**_So when I tease him, what do I get? A Glare. Well, except with the other teasing, that usually resulted in begging. (And he swears he doesn’t)._ **

****

_ I DON’T! _ He wanted to scream at that part.

**_Sometimes he’ll just tease me back but never more than once, and eventually, I get the look that says drop it. So admittedly, I now understand the whole wives' thing, and I can appreciate that. I mean really, I would never bring that up, only the ex, but it wasn’t like I knew about the rest of it six years ago. Now, if I try to tease him, though, I don’t get even get the glare. Just ignoring. The Positano comment aside, he really doesn’t like to be teased, which is just to damn bad. It wouldn’t kill him to laugh._ **

The period at the end of the sentence was rather harsh, and he could tell she had sidetracked herself from the way the rant developed. He didn’t like being teased, who did? Yet, he could understand what she was getting at, and truth be told, he missed their bantering as well. The fights typically were real fights filled with silent accusations. He sighed, closing the book, resisting the urge to turn that page.

His feet somehow led him to his car, and the car brought him to a restaurant where he could get her favorite dinner, and for some reason, he bought it. After that, the logical ending was her front door. Twenty minutes later, he stood in front of it, debating to knock or not. The decision was taken out of his hands as Melvin opened the door leaving for the night.

“Agent Gibbs.”

“Director safe and sound?”

“Yes sir, she’s requesting to be left alone tonight,” Melvin answered quietly with a tone of disapproval.

“I’ll keep an eye on her.”

“Thank you, Gibbs.”

“Anytime.” And he meant that. If it hadn’t been for Melvin’s interest laying in the XY land, he was sure they wouldn’t get along as well as they did. Gibbs rarely got along with any man who got to watch her backside while he wasn’t around.

“Goodnight, Director!” He called back into the house loudly.

“Zero-six tomorrow,” she called back distractedly.

“Yes, ma’am.” He nodded to Gibbs and left through the front door. Jenny appeared a minute later, not hearing the door close.

“Melvin, everything…Jethro.” She sounded surprised before the shock left, and she put her hands on her hips. “I told Melvin I wanted a night alone.”

“Yeah. got that part, which is a bad idea, but that’s not why I’m here.” She arched an eyebrow, and he held out the bag with dinner. “Thought you might be hungry.”

“Coffee, now dinner, something you want to tell me Jethro, or am I going to find out from someone’s Boss?”

“Nah, I’ve been an angel.”

“Minus the press stunt.”

“Details,” he pushed aside, walking into her study to find files across her desk. “You do know that working all night leads to gray hair, right?”

“Hm…that explains so much about you,” she returned.

“And why you have a date with your hairdresser the first Thursday of the month, although you changed after the hair cut.”

“Do I want to know how you know this?” She inquired.

“It’s my job.”

“Speaking of your actual job, have you made progress?”

“In the perfect crime? No.”

“You told me there’s no such thing as a perfect crime.”

“I lied.” She smirked.

“Well, you were very convincing,” she mocked, referring to his rule eight. She opened the bag to find her favorite meal. “You know the last time we ate this…”

“Six people did not die; I solved the case.”

“Guess we broke our trend.”

“I’m told that happens every now and then.” She happily munched on her dinner. “I don’t get this case.” 

“The perfect crime.” 

“So, you’ve said. What’s perfect?” 

“We don’t have an ID; she’s not in any systems so far. All we know is she’s a redhead that was put through a wood chipper.” 

“Husband?” 

“Hey,” he protested. She laughed. 

“It’s the most likely suspect,” she defended with a hidden smile. “Wait, you didn’t think I was referring to…” He was silent, seemingly in a huff. “You know what you would tell me, sometimes you just have to be patient.” 

“Waiting might mean another body,” he pointed out. 

“Well, then maybe you should follow Rule 3.” 

“Still using my rules against me?” He teased. 

“Only when it helps,” she replied. “Double-check where you found the body, maybe there are more.” 

“Well then, Director, I’m going to need to take Abby into the field,” he requested formally. Jenny laughed again. 

“Have at it, she has new toys she was complaining about never using,” Jenny explained. 

“Where is Abby anyway? I thought she was staying with you till Animal Control called?” Jenny paused. 

“Jethro, it’s been three days since the snake,” Jenny reminded. 

“But I haven’t gotten a call from Animal Control?” 

“When I asked Abby on Friday, she said you got…” Jenny trailed off, trying to remember the whole moment. 

“What?” 

“Didn’t you wonder why she wasn’t around on Saturday and asking about movie marathons?” 

“I just assumed she’d gone out with Ziva and wanted you to come...” 

“She never came home with me, she said she could go back,” Jenny was up, and Gibbs was behind her. She was grabbing her phone and dialing it.

“This is Abby, leave a message.” 

“Abby, it’s Jenny, call me now.” 

“She didn’t answer?” 

“She was at work today… Ziva,” Jenny concluded pressing Speed Dial 3. 

“That’s not Ziva’s…” Gibbs faded off as the number was clear. 

“Um…” Jenny paused. 

“Why are you calling Tony?” Gibbs demanded as the phone connected. 

“Shalom Jenny, what’s the matter?” 

“Is Abby with you?” Jenny asked, shushing Gibbs as he tried to grab the phone. 

“Oh Jenny, were you going for plausible deniability, I thought she told you,” Ziva chuckled. 

“She said something about McGee..” 

“She’s with McGee?” Gibbs snapped. 

“Uh, Jenny?” Ziva echoed. 

“Ziva, shut up,” Jenny hung up the phone. 

“Would you like to tell me why my entire team is breaking Rule 12?” 

“Not the one I learned,” Jenny reminded with a smile. 

“Jen…” he paused. This wasn’t precisely a teasing subject. He should have wondered where Abby was, but he was so caught up in the diary. 

“Why don’t you call McGee?” She suggested. “He can’t lie to you.” 

“Implying the rest of you can,” he tossed out before dialing. 

“Boss?”

“McGee, Abby is breaking Rule 3. Where is she?” Gibbs demanded. He heard a gasp followed by McGee jumping up. 

“Um, sorry, Boss, we’re all out at a bar. The uh whole team, Abby must not have heard it ring,” McGee tried to cover. “She’s um right here.” 

“Gibbs?” 

“I thought you were staying with the Director.” 

“Um...well actually a college friend is here visiting, so I’ve been staying with her at her rental, it’s a little longer to work, but it’s got this great view…” Abby continued to chatter. 

“Abbs next time don’t break Rule 3,” Gibbs hung up. “She said she’s with a college friend.” 

“Jethro,” Jenny signed for a minute. 

“What?”

“Jethro, she just lied to you. McGee did too, it was terrible, and you knew it was a lie,” Jenny reminded 

“Yea, McGee was trying to cover for himself, he’s probably out to drinks with Abby and her friend,” Gibbs justified. “He just doesn’t want Tony to know.” 

“Oh, Jethro,” Jenny laughed. She glanced at the photo on her desk. “You and my father would have gotten along famously.” He looked up at her, seemingly confused. He instead thought her father wouldn’t have liked him at first,  _ the Colonel’s Daughter _ . “You both thought your daughters could do no wrong, never questioned that they might stretch the truth to their fathers.” 

“What did your father do to your suitors?” He inquired. 

“He never met one. He was gone before I found one I would have taken home,” she said sadly, staring at the photo. Gibbs turned to her, surprised. “But that doesn’t change the fact you have blinders when it comes to your little girls. Abby is fibbing, she’s at McGee’s apartment, just like Ziva is at Tony’s.” 

“But…”

“Oh, and you should also probably not tell Ziva’s father that. Just in case you like DiNozzo as your senior field agent,” Jenny reminded. 

“So my entire team...” 

“Well, Tony and Ziva are figuring it out. Abby and McGee are...not together.” 

“Yet together.” 

“Don’t try to understand it, Jethro, I don’t, Abby tells me I’m too old.” 

“What does that make me?” He poked.

“Ancient.” He chuckled, and she smiled as they sat back down,  _ The Colonel’s daughter indeed,  _ he thought with a smile. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Props to those who caught the shout out to one of my favorite authors, madame.alexandra. Her excellent JIBBS story "The Colonel's Daughter" is one of my favorites in the entire fandom.


	10. When I miss you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter deals with Hiatus Parts 1 and 2. There is a theory held by a lot of the old school Jibbs Fandom that there was a lot more than missed time between the Episode Jeopardy and Hiatus. While that's not the focus of the story, the death of Kelly and Shannon is mentioned. Also spoilers for later in the series.

**When I miss you**

**[I’m hurting inside]**

  
  


With Abby’s location solidified, dinner had ended on a happier note. The ease of their old partnership was slowly coming back. Jenny had once again offered her guestroom, but he waved off and headed home. He was eager to get into the next entry. 

He went down to the basement and opened the book again. The first thing he noticed when turning to the next entry was the tear stains dried into the page. The first words sent him reeling back to a time; he’d prefer not to remember. He had never really owned up to that major mistake in his previous relationship with Jen. The omission of his wife and child from his past when they talked about it was never about her. It was… psychological on his part. With his ex-wives, he wanted them to know where they stood. With Jenny, it was all different. What he felt for her, he’d never felt for any of the ex-wives, and the closest thing he could compare to it was his feelings for Shannon, which was just a whole other level of pondering. He wasn’t sure he wanted to read this entry, but perhaps part of these demons needed to be put to rest. He might also need to read it to make sure Ziva and Abby knew it was off-topic. 

**_Semper Fi. Always Faithful. Those used to be words we said to each other on leaving for missions. The Marine Corps motto, Jethro’s motto. It explains a lot now. I knew about the ex-wives. I accepted that quirk. I could never understand why not even when I thought I was in danger of becoming one and ran. I wish I’d never run now. Not that I haven’t faced that regret before, but now more than ever, I wish I’d stayed. I wish I’d talked to him. Either we would have ended in a bloody battle or maybe...maybe things could have been different._ **

**_I thought hearing he was in a coma was going to be the worst thing. Then he forgot about me entirely, well, not completely, but he forgot our most recent past. Late dinners, lazy Saturdays talking cases. That’s all gone now, anything that could have been more is gone now, not because I don’t understand, because I do, but he’s forgotten it completely. All he remembers right now is that I was the bitch that left. That maybe he loved, and I left, that he wasn’t enough. It wasn’t the case._ **

**_Before the ex-wives, there was a wife and daughter. A beautiful child, stolen from him in the worst way possible. I used to ask myself what the worst thing humans can do to each other, I learned, but they happened to him. I understand the ex-wives a little more now, I can understand his overprotective streak now, the way he is with kids. God, that case with Zach, I feel like such an idiot. The things I said. I never intended them to be hurtful. I didn’t know! I wish I could tell him I understand that I don’t need to know. That I would be happy with the small part of him, I had then. The part he gave me was enough. My leaving was selfish and immature, and the terrifying fear that I would be tied down, I know now he would never have done that; the part he gave me was enough._ **

**_The file on their deaths leaves a lot to be desired in terms of police work. As if something is missing, but Ducky shed light on that one. Hell, the Czech Republic, shed light on that one. Pedro Hernandez is dead. Of that, I’m certain. I wish there was something I could do that would ease this, but there’s nothing._ **

**_Jethro left._ **

He paused at what seemed to be the end of the entry, realizing there were several additions on the page written in different inks that must have been added later. Reading about her regrets was painful in a completely different way. At least he now knew she had regrets. In the two years since seldom had anything brought up his past, and when it had, she either apologized and caved or stepped aside and let him do what he needed to do while standing on the sidelines waiting in case...well, he never got to the in case moment. Gibbs took another minute to consider what he was doing, what did he want. Did he want her for a night? A week? A fling? None of those sounded like what he wanted with Jenny. He wanted her for keeps. He turned back to the entry to continue reading what she might wish he never knew. 

**_It’s been three weeks. Three weeks since he left._ **

**_I miss him. I miss my door being slammed open. I miss late-night dinners and midnight phone calls. I miss it all._ **

**_I know he made it to Mexico. Franks called the following day to tell me. I had to tell Fornell. Tobias is wishing he’d been more of a friend. He seemed surprised I didn’t know. Hell, Diane seemed surprised I hadn’t known. That was a painful conversation. Diane came to talk with me, telling me to listen, that I needed to hear what she said. She told me when Jethro had told her about Shannon and Kelly, long before they were engaged. “I had to accept I was never his true love,” she said. “So, keep that in mind when you think about why he never told you.”_ **

  
  


Well, that hit the nail on the head. It was unsettling that Diane knew him that well. He wasn’t sure what motivated Diane to talk to Jenny, but he had to say that he was glad she had. Perhaps it hadn’t eased the hurt, but it was a step. He turned to the next addition. He could place this one as right before hee little pep talk to get him to stay. He never told her why he actually came back. He probably should. 

**_He’s back. He came back to help Ziva, to protect my friend. He left just as suddenly as he’d arrived. He was not saying goodbye. I wasn’t surprised. Now he’s helping Fornell. He seemed surprised I hadn’t filed the paperwork. Maybe I just considered that he wouldn’t really leave for good. Perhaps I just didn’t want him to._ **

**_It’s good that Fornell has him distracted. I’ve been finalizing some last-minute reports, requests, and whatnot, and something came across my desk. A cold case for Abby and Ducky. I know they’d already done the preliminaries, Ducky had done the autopsy on the remarkably well-preserved body, something about the heat and deserts. Abby had taken the bullet and said she could match it. I didn’t want her to before we’d gotten an ID on the John Doe, but she went ahead needing a distraction from Jethro not being around. She matched it to a KATE Sniper Rifle. It should have been my first clue. I was down listening to Ducky talk about where they’d found the body when I realized what I was looking at. I told Ducky to wait on the ID that we had to clear priority cases first. I sent him home to rest, sent the entire team home minus one. I asked Ziva to join me for a drink quietly as the rest of the team was leaving. She had walked out with the team, made sure they left, and doubled back. I didn’t even have to ask; I told her there was something we had to do. Ducky is clearly getting older; he didn’t really even question me when I said Mexico asked for their body back. Abby was a little annoyed when I claimed it was confidential, and we had to respect their wishes, but even she ceded once she heard Gibbs was back to help Fornell._ **

**_Ziva said nothing to me. She never will. Well, she might tell someone else what we did. Should she ever find out about the op I’m running with DiNozzo, she’ll tell. I can risk that._ **

**_Fornell said the case is closed. Gibbs is getting ready to leave. I’m going to try and stop him, get him to stay. Maybe this pain will go away if he stays. If I can just know he’s okay, even if we are never close again. It would be easier just to know he’s okay than to miss him as much as I do._ **

_ Oh, Jenny _ , he thought,  _ if you only knew.  _ He got this lesson. She hid her hurt on the inside. While he’d been in the hospital, she was strong for him. She was strong for the team when he left. Who was there for her, to help her through the pain. He thought back over the entry. He knew there were missing memories. He’d always thought something must have happened the night she was kidnapped, but for the life of him, he could never clearly remember it. The overwhelming feeling throughout his retirement in Mexico, his margarita safari as she liked to call it, had been that he was leaving something behind. Now he knew he’d left her. In the darkest part of his mind, he could hear a voice going  _ now we’re even _ , and he hated that part of himself. 

If this entry taught him nothing else, it taught him that he needed to be sure of what he was doing. Once he got through this diary, he was going to have to come clean to her, and that meant a lot more than just telling her that he read her diary. 

He would have to face her tomorrow. 

\---

Jenny lay awake, thinking about dinner and what she was doing. She was starting to rethink sharing the journal with Jethro,  _ especially since he seems to be going in order _ . She knew what came next.  _ Mexico _ . She wasn’t sure she was ready for that tension to descend upon them, especially after the ease of dinner this evening. She was dragged out of her thoughts by her phone ringing and glanced at the caller ID, wondering if it was Jethro. 

“Abby?” she answered. 

“Uh, Director… is Gibbs?” 

“He went home. He seems to think you were out to drinks with McGee and your college friend.” 

“He bought it?” 

“You are the favorite,” Jenny reminded. 

“I uh...um I should have told Gibbs ahead of time, but he just noticed?” Abby questioned. 

“He’s been distracted.”

“And what’s next in the mastery,” Abby inquired. 

“Nothing he can do, just realize.”

“That sounds ominous.” 

“The next entry is about Mexico.” 

“Oh,” Abby said quietly. “We never...We should have tried harder, tried to get you to talk, but you were so strong, making sure we stuck together.” 

“That was more important.” 

“We never did thank you.”

“No thanks was expected or required; I would do it again. I just hope I never have to,” Jenny said quietly. “Good night, Abby, Gibbs wants to take you into the field tomorrow, get some sleep.” 

“Good night, Jenny.” The phone disconnected, and Jenny closed her eyes, trying to sleep. 

\---

Gibbs walked into NCIS with a cup of coffee and could see Tony and Ziva arguing by the stairs with McGee. He ignored them for a minute, checking the balcony. Finding it empty of one redhead, he decided to sneak around the stairs and eavesdrop. 

“Gibbs called last night,” McGee said. “I said we were all out to drinks, and that’s why Abby didn’t answer.” 

“What time, McGee?” Tony demanded. 

“Late?”

“Was anyone with him?” Tony pressed. 

“Like who?”

“The Director,” Ziva stated.

“I didn’t hear her; we can ask Abby, she talked to him for a minute. I told him she was staying with a friend.” 

“McProbie, you already blew it,” Tony snapped, looking at McGee’s phone. 

“What?”  
“Gibbs called him after Jenny called us,” Tony explained, showing Ziva the phone. 

“We are in…”

“Trouble, yea, you are,” Gibbs interrupted. He watched the team freeze. 

“Good morning, Boss,” Tony greeted tentatively. He winced as the head slap connected. McGee rubbed the back of his head after his. Ziva ducked. 

“And how was the Director this morning?” Ziva taunted. He glared at her, but the head slap was interrupted by Abby running over. 

“Are we really going into the field?” She exclaimed. 

“Yes, we are. McGee…”

“Help Abby with the equipment and get the truck ready.” 

“DiNozzo,” 

“Get the digital maps and crime photos together to bring with.” 

“Ziva,” 

“Make sure the car is ready,” Ziva replied, snatching the keys and following the boys. 

“Abby,” Gibbs called as the Goth attempted to follow. 

“El Jefe,” Abby returned the greeting. He crooked a finger at her. 

“March.” He gestured for her to go upstairs, and she started with Gibbs on her heels. She quickly realized he was having her go to the Director’s office. 

“Am I being sent to the principal?” Abby teased. Gibbs just kept going, and she sighed following. He opened the door and gestured for Abby to go in first. 

Jenny looked up as the door to her office opened, and Abby sullenly walked in before Gibbs closed the door behind them. Abby looked from her to him and back to her with a pleading she didn’t understand. She took off her glasses and sat back in the chair, directing her gaze over at Gibbs for a moment, wondering what was going on. 

“Abby has something she’d like to tell you,” Gibbs started. 

“I do?” Abby inquired, confused. 

“About Friday,” Gibbs continued. 

“About the wallet tracker?” Abby tried to guess. “Cause Ziva knew about that. And Tony and McGee.” 

“Abby,” Jenny interrupted. “Do you remember the rule I taught you, this is the opposite of it.” Abby nodded tentatively. 

“What rule?” Gibbs interrupted. 

“Director, I didn’t mean to mislead you that Gibbs told me it was okay to go home. I just wanted to go hang out with my friend,” Abby said quietly, going for innocence, which Jenny could see through, but Gibbs bought. 

“Rule 18, well done, All’s forgiven,” Jenny said teasingly. “Is there an update to the case?” 

“Abby, go get your gear,” Gibbs said, watching the Goth leave. “What rule?” 

“What?” 

“What rule did you teach her? Abby already knows 18, clearly.” 

“And Rule 7, too,” Jenny agreed. 

“What did she lie about?” Jenny just laughed in response, Gibbs smiled  _ at least I can still make her laugh.  _ He took a deep breath. “She has been staying with McGee.” 

“Yes, Jethro,” Jenny answered. “You could think about it as them practicing Rule 14 or 15; I guess if they got their stories straight.” 

“They didn’t,” Gibbs said. 

“Maybe they need a refresher on Rule 7,” Jenny teased. “So, is there an update on the wood chipper case?” 

“We’re going back into the field; they should have gotten their stuff together by now.” 

“I think I would rather go looking for bodies than work on these cold case reports,” Jenny sighed, turning back to her mountain of folders. The words caused him to pause. 

“Jen,” he started. 

“Hm?” He faltered. He could call her out on it. Say something cryptic; he just bypassed it. 

“Want to come out in the field?” She smiled, guessing that wasn’t what he’d wanted to say but giving him the out. 

“I have missed it,” she agreed, grabbing her gun and NCIS windbreaker. He opened the door for her and closed it behind them as she told Cynthia to clear her calendar. The team seemed only marginally surprised that the Director was accompanying Gibbs down the stairs as if she was coming with. The scene was only a half-hour drive, and it was primarily spent in silence or at least the car with Ziva, Jenny, and Gibbs was. The van, on the other hand, was a different story. 

When they got to the field, Abby proceeded to boss McGee and Tony around as they grabbed the gear and set it up. Ziva went scouting the edges of the field while Gibbs and Jenny walked the area where the remains had been recovered. 

“The skull was mostly intact,” Gibbs explained. 

“You think he set the chipper up here. Are you sure you have all the parts?” Jenny questioned. 

“Ducky assured me,” Gibbs said as Ducky and Palmer pulled up. “Speak of the Devil.” 

“Ah, Jethro, Director,” Ducky greeted. “I thought I would offer our services to assist in looking for more remains. Though I see you already brought in an extra set of eyes, Jethro.” Gibbs simply rolled his eyes and turned back to Tony, and McGee going to help them. Jenny smiled and went to walk the perimeter with Ziva. 

“Jenny,” Ziva greeted as she saw the redhead walk up. 

“Ziva.”

“Do you wish to talk about it?” 

“Not particularly.” 

“When I was in trouble, I called you,” Ziva recalled. 

“And I told you where to go and who to call,” Jenny replied. 

“He came.” 

“I told you he would.” 

“You knew he would.” Jenny nodded. “It was not in the entry.” 

“No, but the other piece, that is,” Jenny explained. Ziva did not answer, instead kneeled. “Is that what I think it is?” 

“I believe so.” 

“Did it rain recently?”

“Here, yes, last night.” 

“Talk about a lucky break,” Jenny muttered. “Gibbs,” she called loudly. He seemingly froze before turning toward the two of them. “Ducky, we’re going to need you too.” The good doctor and Gibbs headed in their direction. Jenny circled the area Ziva had marked noticing two additional indents. “Ziva.” 

“I think we’ll need Abby’s toys, after all.” 

“What do you have?” Gibbs asked.

“Two more remains,” Jenny answered. “Left hand here, second left hand over here.”

“Well, it’s like Ducky said, this wasn’t the first.” 

“Except Jethro, that these remains appear to be from bodies that have died more recently than my guest in the morgue.” 

“Great.” 

“We found his spot, Gibbs,” Jenny cautioned. 

“Yea, now he’s gotta find another,” Gibbs sighed. “Let’s hope the wood chipper wasn’t used on all of them. Get Abby…”

“To start the search here, yea, I’ll tell her. I’m also going to request some new techs be sent out, and tell Cynthia to issue an immediate blackout to the press.” Jenny walked off in Abby’s direction. Ziva quietly stood by Gibbs as he watched. 

“I believe I just spotted Agent Shepard there for a moment,” Ducky interrupted the silence. “It’s nice to see her back for a bit.” 

“Ziva,” Gibbs started annoyed.

“Take Tony and conduct an outer perimeter search. I’ll start North and move west,” Ziva answered. 

“I’ll start South and move east,” Gibbs replied. 

“And do you want me to send McGee?”  
“No, I’ll take Agent Shepard,” Gibbs said simply following the redhead. Ziva quickly waved Tony over toward her. 

“Hey, did you see the Director, she’s like actually doing..” DiNozzo trailed off as he approached. 

“I see young Anthony just met Agent Shepard,” Ducky said. 

“Yea, but she’s like…” 

“She was a good Agent, Tony,” Ziva reminded. 

“I knew that...but like…”

“Yes, they always were one hell of a team,” Ducky reminisced. 

\----

“Three bodies rule out a husband,” Jenny said as she and Gibbs walked along the perimeter. 

“Possibly.” 

“You know the BAU had a case recently similar to this.” 

“Think you could…”

“...Inquire without getting Fornell curious. Probably. I take it now you appreciate my politics.” He chuckled. 

“I miss getting answers fast, Ziva isn’t quite there yet.” 

“I take it the team hasn’t told you who Ziva’s source is.” 

“Oh, she knows, I know. I missed getting answers so that I couldn’t fault her.” They continued strolling, checking the ground for indents and possible evidence. “Hey, Jen,” 

“Jethro?”

“Those cold cases that you’re reviewing,” he started. She paused for a minute. “How far do they go back?” 

“Early nineties,” she answered vaguely. “Some are older.” 

“Might want to review them for any wood chipper related deaths,” he suggested. 

“Why’s that?” 

“I’m not Ducky, but this looks old,” Gibbs said, gesturing to a skull that was sitting out. She nodded and took a breath, thinking he’d been asking for another reason. She felt his hand on her shoulder. “You okay?” 

“Yes,” she said swiftly. He nodded and went to grab his phone. She spun around and stopped him from dialing. “No. No, I’m not.” He waited for her as she seemed to waver between words. He wondered if she was thinking about the cold case she’d destroyed or the one she accidentally solved, or perhaps a more recent one altogether.

“You want to go back to the office?” 

“No, I’ve missed the field. I just didn’t miss this part of it.” 

“I wouldn’t have brought you out if I…”

“Jethro, that’s...I don’t mean you. You, the team, the questions, I’ve missed that. It’s this...this not knowing that this has been going on for so long, this is what I don’t miss.” 

“We’re gonna get him, Jen,” he promised. 

“I know.” 

Somehow it felt like they just promised something completely different. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gibbs Rules:   
> Rule 7 Be specific when you lie  
> Rule 14 Bend the Line Don't Break it   
> Rule 15 Always work as a team  
> Rule 18 It’s better to seek forgiveness than ask permission.
> 
> Jenny's Rule   
> She's mentioned it to Abby and Tony in an episode "What Gibbs Doesn't know, can't hurt us."


	11. When I look at you in your eyes

**When I look at you in your eyes**

**[Don’t look away until I do]**

Fifteen bodies. They had recovered fifteen bodies from the field and the woods around where the first body was discovered. They had spent the better part of the day out there going over the area before returning to NCIS and letting the tech teams handle it under Abby and McGee’s supervision. As he drove back, he could see Jenny sigh heavily and wondered that if given the option, she would have stayed in the field just to avoid her paperwork. As they came off the elevator together in the bullpen, he spotted Cynthia lingering by his desk. Cynthia seemed to spot them just as soon as they appeared. 

“Director Shepard,” she greeted. 

“Yes, Cynthia?” 

“SecNav is here, ma’am,” the young woman explained. “He arrived twenty minutes ago. I know he wasn’t scheduled, but he seems quite adamant to talk with you regarding the uh...wood chipper case?” 

“Great,” Jenny sighed. “I suppose he’s waiting in my office?” 

“I have your jacket and brush in MTAC,” Cynthia clarified. Jenny simply nodded and gave some kind of signal indicating Cynthia should return to her desk. Gibbs watched the transformation from Agent to Director that he’d seen gradually over three and a half years happen almost instantly. 

“SecNav, that was fast.” 

“Serial Killer dumping bodies on Navy land doesn’t get worse,” she said quietly, mentally preparing herself. “Thanks, um, for letting me come along.” She turned and headed up the stairs, and he returned to his desk, waiting for the rest of his teams. He figured he probably had a few minutes that he could read the next entry but paused for a minute, the last one had been difficult to get through.  _ Just wait till tonight _ , he thought. Ziva and Tony bickering distracted him, and he refocused them on the case. 

Hours later, they hadn’t made much headway other than to confirm something he’d be concerned about. They were running all the women’s DNA, and while they hadn’t found IDs yet, they had finished the genetic breakdown to give the most probable eye and hair color. They were all redheads. Ducky was looking over the remains, and the rough estimate had been the oldest remains were from five years previously and the most recent just a month old. He was finishing up when Gibbs decided to come down. 

“Ah Jethro,” Ducky greeted. 

“Heard Abby came back; they didn’t find any more remains.” 

“Fifteen will keep us plenty occupied. I’ve had Palmer start preliminaries.” 

“And?” 

“Well, nothing yet, Jethro, but we’ll work through the night. I heard the genetics came back with some assistance.” 

“Majority seem to be redheads, 30-50 years,” Gibbs said. “Can’t do much till we get an ID.” 

“I see,” Ducky said. “Well, I will make that my priority. Perhaps you should update the Director.” Gibbs said nothing but gave his old friend a look. “It was nice to see her in the field again.” 

“Yep.” Ducky sighed. “You remember a cold case while I was in Mexico?”  
“Not really, Jethro, but we have so many cases.” 

“Anything like this?” 

“You think this might be connected to a cold case?” 

“Just a gut feeling,” Gibbs said after a minute. 

“And the fact that your former partner matches the type.”

“There a question in that, Duck?” 

“A thought, Jethro, merely a conjecture.” 

“Good night, Ducky,” Gibbs said, leaving an autopsy. He wandered back to the bullpen seeing DiNozzo and Ziva had left for the evening, McGee’s stuff was gone too, suggesting he’d probably taken Abby home.  _ Don’t think about it _ , Gibbs told himself. He decided to head out also, start fresh in the morning. As he pulled himself into the truck, he felt the journal in his pocket.  _ One entry now _ , he thought. 

**_Honestly, thirty minutes. Thirty minutes after, I brief that bastard that Jethro comes and tells me I might have told the enemy the next move. Could you and your cobalt eyes maybe come to your speculative conclusions a little sooner Special Agent Gibbs?_ **

Well, this was a new rant, Gibbs considered. He vaguely placed this entry after his return. This was the case he was trying to help Franks with. 

**_Oh yes, cobalt eyes. I meant that._ **

**_There’s something I’d forgotten about Jethro, I mean maybe I was trying to forget deliberately, his eyes are the most stunning blue. I realize that blue is a new concept. For thousands of years, no one has used the word blue, but that’s just because there are so many shades. Much like the ocean, Jethro’s eyes are multiple shades, generally expressing some hint of emotion. Bright blue is excited, like happy, excited. I don’t see it much unless it’s with Abby. Blue-gray is when he’s upset, it’s like the stormy ocean churning. I hate that color, mainly because I never know how to make it better. Baby blue is when he’s being a boy, and by that, I mean pranking the team or doing something mischievous. Cobalt is the one I see the most frequently; it’s when he’s focused on a case, passionate about protecting the innocent and getting the bad guy. His eyes were absolutely cobalt when we were talking in MTAC. If it hadn’t been for the distraction of the mustache (it has to go, I really can’t take it seriously), I would have drowned in that cobalt._ **

**_It’s how I knew he sincerely believed what he was saying. Why I knew this wasn’t just a crazy theory but probably true. Why I felt even worse after having already briefed Carver. That cobalt color flips some switch internally, and I just generally go along with what he’s saying. His eyes were cobalt after the coma when he tried to save that ship. It was the reason I let him do what he felt he needed to do. They were cobalt when he left too._ **

**_When I first started working with him, cobalt was my favorite. I have another favorite now though I don’t see it very often, well not really at all anymore. Before the coma, I rarely saw it, and it usually made my heart stutter, right before the explosion, I saw it more frequently. Still made my heart stutter. I would either get angry at him or just ignore him till he left. I guess the most recent time I saw it was when he came back to help Ziva._ **

**_“I really missed that view. The harbor’s not so bad either.” I didn’t know if I wanted to scream at him or cry._ **

**_That other color, my favorite color, that’s the color his eyes would turn when he kissed me. My favorite color is sapphire, and when he looks at me with that color, I just forget the world._ **

_ Emerald,  _ he thought.  _ Emerald is my favorite color.  _ He put the truck in drive and, instead of going home, headed to his favorite Chinese takeout place, ordered extra dumplings for her, and headed to her house. She didn’t seem surprised to see him on her doorstep. 

“Order too much Chinese again?” 

“You like dumplings,” he reminded me. 

“Come in, Jethro,” she offered, holding the door wider. Gibbs followed her to the kitchen and started to unpack while she set out the plates and cutlery. “So, what’s this meal going to cost me?” 

“What’s your favorite color?” He asked out of the blue. She looked up startled and confused, and Gibbs realized that he hadn’t actually meant to ask that, but now that he had, he needed to see it through. 

“What?”

“Your favorite color, I don’t think I know it, I mean unless it’s green,” Gibbs guessed. 

“Sure, green is nice,” she agreed. He passed her the dumplings and sauce while he helped himself to the lo mein. 

“But that’s not your favorite,” he pressed after a bit. She looked up at him and met his eyes. 

“Blue.” She replied with a smile keeping her eyes on his. For a second, he saw the emerald color he liked so much. “Yours?” 

“Green,” he answered without hesitation, keeping his eyes on hers. 

“That’s not a surprise, you’re a marine,” she teased, finally looking away and down to the food. He chuckled next to her, not disagreeing. “Your perfect murder case just exploded.” 

“Thank you for waiting five minutes to ask for an update, Director,” Gibbs remarked. 

“SecNav was not thrilled with this afternoon’s update. Please tell me someone confessed?”

“Not that lucky, Jen,” he said. “Profile so far suggests thirty to fifty-year-old women, possibly redheads.” 

“Redheads?” 

“Hmmm.” 

“Does this have something to do with the night detail currently patrolling my property?” She inquired. Her response was an excellent Gibbs glare. “Oh, I’m sure if it was Ziva, she’d be less obvious. There’s a reason the secret service and I have an understanding about the evening detail monitoring from their car.” 

“It’s just a precaution,” Gibbs assured. “You were at the field today; he might have seen you. He wouldn’t know who you are.” Jenny thought about this for a moment just as her phone rang, and she looked up to grab it from the counter. 

“Shepard.”

“Jenny,” Abby greeted happily. “You wouldn’t happen to know where the fearless leader is?” 

“Abby, I thought your loss of caff pows would have reminded you not to have Ziva put trackers on people.” 

“Oh, it completely has, Director, absolutely, but uh McGee can track cell phones,” Abby explained. Jenny sighed, taking a seat back at the table and turning to Gibbs. 

“It’s for you.” 

“Gibbs.”

“Silver Fox,” Abby drawled. “We’ve been able to match three of the DNA profiles to some working girls who got picked up at the base, and another is the estranged daughter of a marine.” 

“Where’s the marine?”

“Dead, Suicide after the daughter went missing.” Gibbs paused a moment, glancing across the table. 

“What was the Marine’s rank?”

“Um...he was a Colonel,” Abby answered nonchalantly, “We’re working on the other victims, and Ducky is trying to establish a common method. We still haven’t ID the woman in the wood chipper yet.” 

“Good work Abs,” Gibbs said, hanging up. Gibbs glanced over at Jenny. 

“What?”

“Four IDs, hopefully getting to the rest tomorrow,” he replied. “I’ll remind McGee that Abby is not his boss.” 

“And Abby’s caf pows?” 

“I’ll make her empty the supply.” A phone ringing in the distance had Gibbs looking up at her. She didn’t seem too concerned. “Jen?” She said nothing. “Jenny, the phone?”

“It’s the one Ziva and I use,” Jenny answered. 

“And yet she called me in Mexico,” Gibbs remarked. Jenny laughed, getting up to get the phone from the study. 

“Where do you think she got the idea?” Jenny tossed over her shoulder. “Shalom,” he could hear her greet Ziva over the phone before she closed the door, and he huffed.  _ She better not be coming clean about the journal.  _

\----

“Shalom.”

“Jenny, Abby says you have a dinner guest.” 

“I was enjoying that dinner, too,” Jenny said. “Why are you and Abby keeping tabs?” 

“We just want to make sure Gibbs isn’t doing something stupid,” Abby shouted. 

“Speakerphone, fantastic.” 

“We both haven’t had the chance to talk with you after your field experience today,” Ziva explained. “It was interesting for the rest of the team to meet Agent Shepard.” 

“Unfortunately, now I have one overprotective marine thinking I’m a target.” 

“Uh, well, he told you about the victims?” 

“Just redheads and the age range, and that you ID four of them, one of them a Marine's daughter.” 

“A Colonel’s daughter,” Ziva stated. 

“Oh,” Abby exclaimed. “Jenny, your father, wasn’t he…”

“Yes, he was a Colonel, but Army, not Marines.” 

“Rule 39,” Ziva said. “Which explains dinner.” 

“Ziva,” Abby whined. “He maybe could have just wanted to have dinner with her.” 

“The two of you are not helping right now,” Jenny said after a minute, getting a new understanding of Gibbs’ thought process. 

“You said the last entry was something he just had to learn, but nothing he could do.” 

“Yes, pretty sure he’s read it.”

“What’s next?” Jenny smiled though she knew her friends couldn’t see it rethinking the color conversation. 

“He’s already mastered it, eye contact.” 

“And then?” 

“He has to keep a secret.” 

“One you tell him?” Ziva clarified. 

“Perhaps.”

“Wouldn’t you say he’s kept enough,” Ziva inquired casually. 

“Good night, ladies,” Jenny said, closing the phone. She opened the door and found Gibbs on the other side. “You do know that door is soundproof?” 

“It was worth a try, where’s Ziva?”

“With Abby.” 

“That’s better than breaking Rule 12,” Gibbs said. “Want an egg roll?” They went back to the kitchen and dinner. This time when she offered the guest bedroom, he stayed. 

  
  


  
  



	12. When I tell you a secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's short, sorry. ;)

**When I tell you a secret**

**[keep it safe and untold]**

Waking up in a room that was not the basement had Gibbs pause for thirty seconds before recognizing the lavish decorations of Jenny’s guestroom. He wasn’t as familiar with it as he was with her room, and he was honestly surprised he’d slept there and not her couch in the study, but she’d been heading upstairs and offered the bed. Gibbs knew the night detail was patrolling, knew she was uncomfortable with it, and honestly, he was too. This was about her safety, and when it came to that, he could be paranoid. He stayed. In the guest room, but he stayed. As he lay in the bed listening for sounds, he could hear Jenny’s alarm faintly go off and looked at his watch. Four fifty in the morning, he could lay here for ten more minutes. A muffled grunt as an alarm clock hit the floor told him Jenny wasn’t getting up right away. He had time. He reached to his jacket and pulled out the red notebook, flipping to the next entry. 

Nothing like playing with fire and reading her stolen journal, in her house. 

**_This time I might actually kill him. Or he’s going to kill me. Neither of us is walking away from this. Jenny’s rule #1 only works until Gibbs finds out, then you’re screwed._ **

Gibbs paused a moment at this. It was no secret he had moments of wanting to kill his redhead former partner/lover/current boss/friend/whatever they were. They were tied with the moments he wanted to kiss her senseless. He figured that probably wasn’t going to help him date this entry. He was pretty sure she knew the moments he thought he might snap and kill her or kiss her, generally, he walked away _, something she should be good at_ , he thought bitterly. That didn’t answer the nagging question though, _Jenny’s Rule #1, wonder if this is what she meant when she was talking to Abby._ _Clearly, it has to do with me._ Gibbs listened as he heard a muffled curse, Jenny was getting up. He still had time. 

**_He knows now about Tony’s op. Kind of. Sort of. I may have been vague on some details. Alright, more like hazy on the primary reason for why I wanted to go after this particular arms dealer. Knowing what I do know about him, I’m going to have to try my damnedest to make sure he never finds out my primary reason. Otherwise, he knows what the endgame is._ **

So this was about the frog. He hated frogs. And what a surprise, she’d planned the endgame. 

**_It’s his own damn fault for not being in the know. I was just following his rules. Rule #4 to be precise. The best way to keep a secret? Keep it to yourself. Second best? Tell one other person - if you must. There is no third best._ **

**_Yea, he’s mad that I threw that at him. I don’t think he realizes I’d been following it all along. As brilliant as Jethro is, Gibbs can be just dense. Does everyone think we had an affair at some point? Yes. Do they know the details? No. Rule #4. Do Tony and Abby think they’ve outsmarted us by hacking CCTV footage? Yes. Did they get confirmation? No. Again Rule #4._ **

Abby and Tony did what? He was going to have to revisit that one with his favorite quietly. 

**_Just once, I wish he wouldn’t dig. I wish Gibbs weren’t as observant as I know he is. I wish I hadn’t started this mission while he was gone. I should have known from the second Tony slipped out of the office that this was the moment where I would have to tell him. I could have told him everything. I didn’t. Still following Rule 4._ **

**_So he doesn’t know about the primary reason, this secret reason, about Dad._ **

**_Here’s another one. I love Jethro. I never stopped, and God help me, I probably never will. A physical law of the universe._ **

  
  


_What?_ Gibbs froze upon reading that. So this was the day he’d found out about Tony’s undercover work on the frog. Found about the Frog, but not the reasons. He remembered that night, going home, and seriously questioning everything he knew about her. He was wondering why her behavior seemed so familiar. 

_“I will get him, another time, another deal. I will be there, and I will get him.”_

He could hear her words in his head. Gibbs sat up straight as he listened to another muffled curse from the room across the hall. He reread the last piece. Over a year and a half ago, she had put this to paper. She never said a word. Not about Hollis _, okay, not obviously about Hollis_. Never made a move, although a night two weeks ago was starting to come to mind. He had thought she wanted a night, nostalgia whatever. He couldn’t give her that when he wanted more. 

_Now you’ve got a bigger problem_ , his inner voice said. _She’s across the hall, and you know she loves you._

So he ran through that scenario, _I read your journal...bang._ Yea, that wasn’t going to work. He wasn’t going to be able to tell her this. Gibbs sighed as he closed the book a minute. He should never have opened it; ever, he knew that. Now that he had, the door to a possible future was always going to be clouded with what if, if she ever found out he’d read it, she’d be furious. _Rule 4, she never has to know._

“Gibbs?” She heard her voice softly through the door. 

“Yea I’m up, Jen, I’ll meet you downstairs.” 

“Okay,” came the faint reply, and he heard her footsteps recede. There was no way he could face her, at least not without a cold shower and several other reasons why he shouldn’t walk down there and kiss her. 

_Perhaps she details ways to kill me in the next entry,_ he thought. He opened the book and flipped the page. 

  
  
  
  
  



	13. When I push you or hit you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously:  
> There was no way he could face her, at least not without a cold shower and several other reasons why he shouldn’t walk down there and kiss her. 
> 
> Perhaps she details ways to kill me in the next entry, he thought. He opened the book and flipped the page.

**When I push you or hit you**

**[Grab me and don’t let go]**

**_In this history of bad decisions, shoving Jethro up against a window is high up there._ **

_Well, hell, Jen_ , Gibbs thought. _This is not helping._

**_It wasn’t Gibbs, the annoying pain in the ass partner, it was Jethro. How do I know? I’ve done it before. That ended much more pleasantly. This one did not. After reciting Rule 4 and him throwing out that Rule 1 supersedes all other rules (which by the way he never mentioned), I maybe threw the past in his face. I’m not proud of it. We’ve both done it, usually behind closed doors. I’d like to say it was a targeted statement to hurt; it was a Freudian slip._ **

Gibbs felt parts of his body react to that statement. Parts that shouldn’t respond when he was in her house and would have to face her in fifteen or twenty minutes. He remembered that moment, vividly and he could still smell her perfume. _Maybe because you're in her house._

_“Rule 1 supersedes all other rules.”_

_“What never screw your partner?”_

_“Never screw OVER, your partner.” She had her hands on his hips, fingers slipped through the belt loops, and used them to shove his back up against the window faster than he could blink. He had felt his hands automatically cover hers._

_“I never screwed you over. And I’m not your partner. I’m your boss.”_

As he rethought that moment. He remembered not hearing her words, though he registered them. He remembered her perfume, the flash of fire in her emerald eyes, her soft lips forming words, and the earrings, earrings he’d given her. He had felt the press of her fingers on his hips, and for half a second, he wondered who was going to kiss who first. He’d also remembered his hands lightly touching hers. She’d pulled away when she made her point. He let her. 

**_He just makes me so angry sometimes. Actually, scratch that, everyone already knows that. What really makes me angry is his damn self-control. When I pulled back, he let me. Be the irresponsible one just once, Jethro. If he’d stopped me, I would have kissed him._ **

He was definitely going to need that cold shower now. Next time she shoved him up against a window, he was going to hold her and not let go. 

**_The rest of the day ended about as bad as it could. We missed Le Grenouille, but Ducky was okay._ **

**_But perhaps this is it. This is the end of whatever we had after the kidnapping. Perhaps even more final than the coma and his margarita safari._ **

**_I still trust him, still love him, but I lost his trust, which for some reason, hurts more than losing his love._ **

  
  


Well, Jennifer Shepard knew how to throw a right hook, whether it be physical or emotional. Gibbs placed the journal back in his coat before heading for the shower; he wasn’t sure he was going to need it cold anymore. He still trusted her with his life. He knew he hadn’t been obvious about it. 

As he finished dressing in his spare clothes, he heard her talking to someone downstairs muffled. He thought back to when he realized the Frog was more than just an arms dealer. She was standing in MTAC, walking away from him, swearing that she didn’t waste ten years to bring him down. That whole moment had a new context, she’d walked away from them to do this, and if she’d failed, it meant all of that suffering hadn’t been worth it. He should have known from than what the endgame would have been and perhaps somewhere he did. 

_“Some people need to have someone to hate.”_

_“Not me.”_

_“Then you should have let Ziva take the shot.”_

She couldn’t let Ziva do it. She had to do it. Just like he had to take the shot in Mexico all those years ago, he knew that somewhere in the back of his head. He had known it that night. Perhaps that was why he started being her devil’s advocate, looking over her shoulder and waiting for the moment she crashed. 

“Jethro?” She called faintly, interrupting his thoughts. 

“Yea, Jen?” He called back, opening the door. She was just at the bottom of the stairs, the stairs blocking her body from view. 

“You better not be snooping through the house,” she teased, seeing him tense at the top of the stairs. Something had bugged him. 

“I wasn’t, just thinking. Coffee?” He said, heading down the stairs. She tilted her head before walking off to the kitchen, expecting he would follow. He took another deep breath before following her and nearly choked when he came into the kitchen. _Hell Jen,_ he thought silently watching her roll up the sleeves on the grey sweater tucked smartly into the maroon pencil skirt. It was if she’d stepped out of his memories, and he blinked double-checking that her hair was still long and curling around her face as it had these past few weeks. He should have taken that cold shower. 

\--

Jenny was slightly puzzled when Gibbs had said he’d meet her downstairs and wasn’t doing just that within ten minutes. She’d heard her him up, heard the shower, and then nothing. She’d come back to the bottom step to call up when her phone rang. It was Ziva. 

“Shalom,” she answered quietly. 

“Shalom Jenny,” Ziva returned. “I apologize for calling early.” 

“I’m just getting ready to go in.”

“You might want to reconsider that.” 

“Why?”

“The media has turned up. Abby, just let me know.” 

“Abby’s in early.”  
“She apparently didn’t leave last night. She was going to head home now, but the media is camped out.” 

“And you’re calling me?”  
“Fair warning for when Gibbs does something,” Ziva said. 

“I might have a solution to that,” Jenny replied cryptically. “I’ll see you in an hour.” She hung up and laughed a little. The phone tree they developed so that she wouldn’t be caught unaware when Gibbs pissed off the media was one of her better-kept secrets. _How to convince Gibbs to drive me to work, appeal to overprotective instincts._

“Jethro?” She called up the stairs. 

“Yea, Jen?” He called back, opening the door. She could see he was just outside the guest bedroom door across from her partially closed bedroom door. 

“You better not be snooping through the house,” she teased. He was tense. Something had either kept him up or woken him. _Appealing to overprotective instincts might be easier than I thought._

“I wasn’t, just thinking. Coffee?” Well, that was ominous-sounding, and coffee did not even require a response. She turned on her heel and padded back to the kitchen, glad that she hadn’t put on the heels yet. She could hear him following behind, and she turned to pour him a cup of coffee when she didn’t hear the footsteps continue. 

Jenny glanced over her shoulder to find him frozen in the doorway as if he’d seen a ghost or a memory. _Something good too,_ she thought as she watched his eyes darken to sapphire. She’d seen him get lost in thought before, generally memories, but this wasn’t a Paris memory. She glanced down to see if she could remember anything specific about what she was wearing before noticing the skirt. _Oh, well, that makes sense. I knew he was close to that entry. Okay, Jen, act normal. Act like he doesn’t know your most closely guarded secret, and you might be okay. Why did I think this was a good idea again?_

“Coffee?” She offered him the mug, and he blinked, taking the cup from her carefully and backing up slightly. “Ziva called,” she said. That seemed to do the trick, and he checked his phone. 

“She didn’t.”

“She called me. She said the media is camped out at the yard.” 

“I thought you told the communication team to blackout.”

“I did. Unfortunately, that can backfire and make them more interested. Particularly since they knew about the first body.” 

“We never did find out how they knew about the first body.” 

“Their vultures, as you remind me,” Jenny said.

“Yea but this was in the middle of nowhere, how did they find out?” Gibbs reasoned. 

“Suspect could be part of the media,” Jenny theorized, taking another sip of her life-sustaining brew. “Or could have contacted the media. Ducky said he would want to be caught.” 

“Well, it’s a good thing you have so many friends,” he remarked sarcastically. She arched an eyebrow. “You can talk to your media friends and find out.” 

“I do have other things to do.” 

“Yea, but you want to know too,” Gibbs pointed out, putting the mug down. “When’s your driver coming?” 

“He’s not, I get to drive myself,” Jenny replied, trying to up her enjoyment. She figured if she sounded too happy, he’d take the bait in three, two…

“You can come with me,” he said. “You're supposed to have detail for a reason.” 

“I’m the Director of an Armed Federal Agency,” she protested. 

“Exactly,” Gibbs said. She glared for good measure. It wouldn’t do to make him think she was giving in. “Not gonna work on me, Jen.” 

“Fine. Then we need to get going,” she huffed. She headed to her study to pack up her case, realizing she never really unpacked it last night. Gibbs was waiting by the coat closet in the front with her coat and scarf. He watched as she sat on the stairs to put on her heels and felt his throat constrict again. “Something the matter, Jethro?” She inquired, noticing his body tension. 

“Nope,” he replied, looking at the ceiling. 

“Uh-huh.” She stood up and took her coat, putting it on. He went to get the door for her, and as she passed him, she turned to meet his eyes. “I would prefer it if you just said you liked the outfit.” 

“Haven’t decided yet,” he replied, following her out the door. He walked her to the car, looking around the surroundings. It wasn’t until he opened the car door for her that he felt as if someone was watching them. “Jen,” he said, alerting her to his concern. As in the past, he didn’t need to use words to communicate with her. She immediately turned into him to look over his shoulder as if using him to balance and adjust her heel. 

“Nothing out of the ordinary,” she said, her eyes sweeping the familiar surroundings. He nodded, helping her into the car and closing the door. He glanced around as he got in before starting the vehicle. 

“You sure?” he asked. 

“I’m sure, no new features, there was no one on the street.” 

“Have you seen any new cars recently?” 

“Jethro, I come home after dark usually between 9 and midnight, and I generally leave before the sun rises around 5 or 6 every morning. I am never home,” she reminded. He nodded, knowing she would have said something and realizing that it was ridiculous they didn’t have coverage of her house. Of course, someone wouldn’t try right away when she was home; they’d try when she wasn’t. 

“You’ll talk to Noemi?” 

“She’s away right now, but yes, when she gets back.” 

“When is she due back?”

“End of the month,” she answered. “She went to see family and usually goes for six weeks.” Gibbs nodded, and Jenny knew that Ziva would likely be sent to do a sweep of the house. 

They were both grateful for the tinted windows as they pulled through the gate at the yard, and the flashbulbs went off. Either Abby was tracking them again, or they recognized Gibbs’ car because they didn’t even stop him as they pulled through. He pulled into a space near the autopsy entrance. Jenny gathered her things and pushed her sunglasses on top of her head. 

“Sunglasses help with the flash?” As he opened her car door. 

“Not even a little,” she laughed. He offered her a hand as she got out of the car, and they both glanced around, neither one letting on that they felt they were being watched. Gibbs walked alongside her with his hand on her back as he had thousands of times before. She turned just as they were going in the door, and something caught her eye. She waited until the door had closed behind him. “You saw him?”

“Telephoto lens just past the fence, yep,” he replied as they got in the elevator. “Worried what your bosses will say?”

“More worried about what DiNozzo will bet,” she answered sharply. The doors opened on the autopsy floor with Ducky right in front. 

“Ah Jethro, Director, Good morning.” They replied with the same. “Are you heading up? I was just about to check with Abby about some results. I understand she worked overnight. Poor girl never sleeps, reminds me of you, Director, in your younger days.” 

“She sleeps just fine,” Gibbs mumbled. Jen went to head slap, but he caught her hand and held it out of sight of the good doctor. 

“I’ll make sure Abby goes home tonight, Ducky,” Jenny promised, trying to wriggle her hand free. The elevator stopped again on the floor for the lab, and Ducky got off. 

“Jethro?”  
“Yea, I’m coming, Duck,” Gibbs replied. “Later, Jen,” he said, stepping off and letting go of her hand. She waved once it was free and hit the button for MTAC before flipping the emergency stop and letting out the tiniest giggle. _Lesson learned, Jethro._

It wasn’t much later that Cynthia watched Director Jenny Shepard walk slowly into her office, trying to figure out what was different about her. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	14. When you see me start crying

**When you see me start crying**

**[Hold me and tell me everything will be alright]**

As Gibbs walked into Abby’s lab, he cringed with the volume of the music. Ducky doing the same thing didn’t make him feel as bad. Abby seemed to notice them and quickly shut it off. 

“Ducky! Gibbs!” She greeted energetically. “I don’t have a lot,” she prefaced. 

“Anything’s better than nothing, Abs,” Gibbs encouraged. 

“Well, we’ve got some more IDs, the weird thing is I found yet another military dependent too.” 

“There’s a lot of military families in the area, Abs.” 

“Well, yes, but there’s another similarity, the girl is the daughter of an Air Force Colonel, father dead, suicide,” Abby explained. 

“That’s more than similarity, my dear, sounds like a pattern,” Ducky said. 

“It’s what I thought, so I’ve been going over the bodies and nearest I can tell there are four high-risk victims, and one low-risk, the Colonel's daughter.” 

“What’s the time frame?” Gibbs asked. 

“Well, that I can help you with,” Ducky began. “Near as we can tell he has a two-year cycle, now what’s interesting is that the oldest remains are from ten years ago, 1997, so we have three cycles.” 

“You’ve got a problem, Duck,” Gibbs said. 

“No, I did the math quite…” 

“The wood chipper body isn’t number 16; she’s number 10. So we have sixteen bodies, and the most recent one is this one,” Gibbs pointed to a photo of a dyed redhead named Bea. 

“So we’re in cycle number 4, which would make the math line up if we had nineteen bodies, but Gibbs, we only have sixteen,” Abby reminded. 

“Double check the field, make a larger loop around it. If these bodies are more recent, maybe the predators took the remains,” Gibbs said before turning and leaving. 

“So, Ducky,” Abby said quietly. 

“Yes, Abigail?”

“I maybe sort of didn’t tell Gibbs about the first low-risk victim, she was the daughter of an Army Colonel and she would have been the same age as the Director was. Her missing person file is a NIS cold case; she was last seen here at the Naval Yard. It looks like Gibbs and Director Shepard did some of the interviews for it before it got handed off.” 

“And we have a Marine Colonel and an Air Force Colonel, time to go back to the beginning,” Ducky said. 

“And looking at the photo,” Abby brought up a photo of a young woman.

“She looks familiar.” 

“She was working to be a doctor,” Abby explained. 

“Hm, interesting.” 

“What?”

“Director Shepard had applied to medical school before she entered NCIS.” 

“Gibbs doesn’t believe in coincidences.” 

“No, he doesn’t.” 

“I should probably call Director Shepard.” 

“Yes, and I’ll find a moment to brief the rest of the team.” 

“About that, I already told Tony and Ziva. But Ducky, if he was watching his site…”  
“He may think Agent Shepard is still on the case.” 

\---

Gibbs entered the elevator, his mind trying to process many thoughts and figure out how they could have missed this guy in ten years. He hadn’t forgotten about the guy with the camera either, and as soon as he got to the bullpen, he found McGee. 

“McGee.”  
“Good morning, Boss, Abby said…”

“I’ve seen Abby; I need you to check the surveillance of the yard, particularly near the autopsy entrance. See if there’s a hole, talk to the guards, get the schedule down and have them up the number of patrols,” Gibbs explained. The younger man nodded and took off. Gibbs then redirected his attention to the rest of the team. “DiNozzo.”

“Already ran the IDs and got last known locations on all the identified victims, Boss, most are local from the vicinity. Everything from bars, clubs, the mall, and one from the naval yard.” 

“Did NCIS investigate?”

“Well, yea, actually Boss, you were the first team on,” Tony said. 

“When did we do a missing person case?”

“Um, it wasn’t you and me, Boss. It was…”

“You and Director Shepard,” Ziva spoke up. “1997, just before you left for Europe.” 

“Who’d we get?”

“There’s a note that the file was ordered turned over, it has gone unsolved,” Ziva said. 

“How did someone get a call girl on…”

“This one wasn’t a call girl. It was the first low-risk victim, Military dependent Zoe Lowe.” 

“Husband military?”

“Father, Army Colonel Owen Lowe.” 

“DiNozzo, Go down to Abby, take her and the equipment back into the field, make a larger loop.” 

“Yes, Boss,” Tony said. 

“Ziva,”

“Yes, Gibbs?”

“Do a sweep of the Director’s house and then join DiNozzo.” 

“Yes, Gibbs,” Ziva said, grabbing her bag and heading out. 

“Boss, you coming with?” Tony asked when Gibbs sat down. 

“No, McGee and I are going to run other leads,” Gibbs said, glancing up.

“Okay, Boss,” Tony agreed. The younger man was privately glad the Boss was staying. Since the case had started and Abby had found the multiple hits, he thought that there was at least one redhead who could be a possible target. His orders to Ziva seemed to follow that line of thought. 

\---

Gibbs watched as Tony and Ziva left in opposite directions. He knew he should brief Jenny, but figured it could wait until McGee got back with the surveillance information. He read through the cold case file, trying to remember it but felt guilty he couldn’t. The case was also going to start moving at a rapid pace now. He figured he should get through one more entry, just in case he didn’t have time this evening since he knew he’d end up at Jenny’s again. 

**_When it rains, it pours. At least it covers tears. I know my father is dead. I felt for the pulse; I watched the EMTs pronounce it, I know he’s gone. This is nothing more than an attempt to rattle me, and it will not work._ **

So still on the Frog. Gibbs guessed this was either right after she found the bottle or right after she was polygraphed. 

**_Gibbs was here. If only he hadn’t seen the damn bottle. He did, of course. I don’t know perhaps he knew I’d been debating calling since I came home and found this. I could have. I could have told Melvin that something wasn’t right when I found the bottle. The first call he would have made would be to Gibbs. Instead, I said nothing. Stared out into the dark of the study, Jethro would call it obsessed._ **

**_He rang the bell; any other time, I was thrilled; instead, I was just angry. I didn’t want him to see me like this. I wanted the night to bury it and resume my normal Director’s self. No instead, the one man who I can’t hide from shows up demanding answers as to where I was for twenty-one hours. Telling me, we’ve had a security breach. Yes, Gibbs, I know, Yes I was probably the reason for it._ **

So right after he showed up at her house that night, then. Before they found out anything more. Before Tony nearly got blown up. 

**_Damnit, Gibbs, I did not need this tonight. If you wanted to show up unexpectedly and trample whatever attempts I was making to stay calm and collected… and not fall apart. I didn’t need my lead agent tonight. I needed my friend. I needed someone I wouldn’t have tried so hard to hide the tears from._ **

**_But that goes back to me, I guess. If I had called and asked, Jethro would have come. He would have shown up and told me it was going to be okay. They’d find out who had put the Scotch bottle on my desk, in my secure house. He’d have offered to stay. It didn’t matter if he was pissed at me or not. I probably would have told him where I was for those 21 hours, too._ **

**_Okay, well maybe not, be honest with yourself at least. This evening when he left, I almost called him back. I almost left and went to his house. It would have been worth the argument to have one moment where he just told me it was going to be okay. We’d figure it out together._ **

**_Now it’s just me. And I have an arms dealer to catch._ **

He had almost stayed that night. Despite the fight, he knew it would have caused. He had been worried about her, not just because of the security breach and the polygraphs, but because she had gone missing and hadn’t called him when she got back from Paris. Since the kidnapping, whenever she’d made an overnight trip, she’d call him when she got back home. There hadn’t been many, but when she hadn’t called after he knew Melvin had taken her home, he’d been worried. Tobias’ warning hadn’t helped. He had known the polygraph would be about the frog, looking back on it, he wondered if Kort hadn’t set it up to distract from what would happen next. He noticed there was additional text on the next page. It didn’t seem to be a new entry, but he wondered for a minute. 

“Gibbs,” her voice echoed down from the balcony, and he straightened up, snapping the journal closed quickly. He looked up to find her leaning over the railing on the landing of the steps. 

“Director.”

“Where’s the team?” She asked as he stood and walked in her direction. She met him in front of the window, and he glanced out, taking a quick breath in.  _ Hell, Jen, do not even think about it. _ She clearly either hadn’t remembered their last argument under this window or had remembered and was banking on his confusion. 

“Running leads,” he answered evasively, making sure the journal was secure in his pocket. 

“Abby said you have more IDs?” 

“Yes, sixteen names...” 

“Sixteen, I thought the team found fifteen…”

“The woodchipper body, made sixteen, though she was actually victim number 10.” 

“Sixteen women just missing, and no one put anything together?” Jenny questioned. 

“The majority of them were high risk, working girls,” Gibbs said.

“That doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have…”

“I know Jen,” he assured. “I know. They will now.” 

“They better,” she warned. “And the low-risk victims?” 

“Military dependents, daughters of high ranking men in the army, marines, and air force.” 

“Well known?”

“Not exactly, fathers are dead, probably why the cases ran cold,” Gibbs theorized. 

“Are we looking at some kind of family annihilator?” 

“No, Fathers’ deaths are suicides,” he said, carefully watching her face for any changes in expression. She tensed. 

“I see,” she cleared her throat. “Abby said something about an NCIS cold case?”

“Yea, one of ours.” 

“Ours? I don’t remember a case with any similarities.” 

“December 1997, Zoe Lowe, father was Army Colonel Owen Lowe,” he tried. Jenny shook her head. 

“I think I would have remembered a dead redhead with that history,” Jenny snapped tersely. “Or not solving it.” 

“We only did preliminary interviews, it was turned over to Army CID and then listed as cold, we were in Europe the next week,” Gibbs explained. 

“Wait, was this the medical student?” Jenny asked a memory coming to mind. 

“Yes.” 

“I vaguely remember this; we talked to a couple of people here at the Navy Yard, they were in the Army CID. We turned the case over to them?” 

“Apparently,” Gibbs said. “Do you remember anything?”

“No, well, not about the case. I…,” she paused. “I moved back to the townhouse that week,” she said after a minute. 

“Right, okay, we were going to Europe, you didn’t need your apartment,” he reasoned.

“Yes, but it was more than that, do you remember why I moved back into the townhouse?” 

She wasn’t sure how to bring up the subject. It was something they never talked about, not even when they’d been together. She was looking out to the harbor, refusing to meet his eyes. He vaguely remembered staying one night at the townhouse before they left for Europe, just falling asleep after a movie. They’d hadn’t been dating officially, but they were spending time together since the divorce had been finalized the previous fall. The fact that he lasted till August before kissing her had been something of a surprise to him. They’d gone from partners to lovers so gradually that he never could remember when it started, other than the first time he kissed her. In any other relationship, he would have called what they’d been doing dating, but that was never it with her. This little trip down memory lane wasn’t helping, though.  _ Why did she move? He remembered something about the apartment, a break-in?  _

“The apartment had been broken into,” he said after a minute. She nodded. “I had brought you home that night,” he added. 

“Yes, needless to say, you had me back in the townhouse before I could pack an overnight bag.” 

“You were already giving up the lease.” 

“Yes, I was, but I had planned to stay in it till we left. Noemi was going to have movers bring everything back to the townhouse and store it. We changed those plans. You changed those plans. We never did figure out who broke in; there had been other apartments broken into that night too. I guess we just brushed it off,” Jenny explained. 

“Was anything taken?”

“I honestly don’t remember, Jethro, certainly nothing of value, but it was ten years ago.” 

“Yea, but you said something that night.” 

“I did?”

“You said you thought someone had been watching you, we never checked that apartment for bugs,” he said. 

“I was a probie,” she reminded me. He gave her a look. 

“Whoever was watching, you probably cared less about your profession.” 

“Fine, but we left for Europe two weeks later,” she said. “I was out of reach, and I never felt like I was being stalked while we were in Europe. I didn’t come back to the states until after 9/11.” 

“Not once?”

“Okay, I was here a couple of times overnights, I never stayed more than 48 hours, and I didn’t stay at the townhouse. February 2000, for 48 hours, September 2001, February 2004 and January 2005, I moved back to the townhouse in April 2005.”

“What were you doing here in February 2000?” 

“I…,” she paused. She knew exactly what she was doing, she was going to right a wrong, but he’d been married. She was trying to come up with something when she saw Tim coming by. “Cyber Crime seminar,” she lied, keeping her eyes focused on Tim. “I wasn’t in DC,” she added. 

“We’ll come back to that. And September 2001?” 

“I was at the pentagon,” she answered, trying not to think about it. “McGee’s back from wherever you sent him.” She stepped towards the bullpen, but his hand on her shoulder stopped her. 

“You were at the Pentagon?”

“Yes, Jethro, I was sent back to Europe and then to Israel as soon as the all-clear came,” she said flatly. He let her go while he tried to process that. As he was processing, he could see her greeting McGee and knew that he could focus on this later. 

“McGee status?”

“I spoke with the guards, and they’re going to increase the patrols and go in pairs. There was a camera malfunction sometime this morning around four am, that’s when they think the guy slipped in. There’s no way he entered the building, but he could have scouted the perimeter and climbed into the garage. Suppose he was probably trying to get pictures of the bodies, Boss,” McGee explained. 

“The camera’s been fixed?” Jenny said before Gibbs could get a word out. 

“Yes, ma’am,” McGee replied. “We’ve alerted the other buildings. We can lockdown if you’d like ma’am?” 

“Is there a reason we should, Jethro?” She asked. 

“Not yet,” he replied. “We still don’t have a suspect. No point in spooking someone into acting.”  
“Boss, we found his dumping grounds, we might have already…” McGee trailed off as he noticed Gibbs giving him a look. It was the quit while you’re ahead, and I had the upper hand look. Jenny took one glance between the two men and sighed. 

“And if we had, he’s going to go after the target fits his type,” Jenny said. McGee looked down at the floor. “I see, so we’re not going to lock down the agency, we’re just going to put all the female redhead agents into protective custody.” 

“Only the ones he might have seen.” 

“Tell me at least one of the techs was a redhead,” Jenny pleaded to McGee.

“I’m afraid not, ma’am.” 

“Fantastic,” Jenny snapped. She turned to take a seat at Ziva’s desk. “Well, I’ll have Cynthia cancel all my meetings. I have to update SecNav at noon, I trust by then we’ll have something more.” 

“Yes ma’am,” McGee replied before feeling his head snap forward as Gibbs whacked him. 

“Jenny,” he started. 

“I’ll go help Abby in the lab,” she interrupted, getting back up and walking off toward the lab. Gibbs went to go after her when McGee called him back.

“Boss,” McGee began. 

“Anything else, McGee?” 

“We found an SD Card for a camera,” McGee said, sitting at his computer and motioning Gibbs around. “I didn’t want to put it on display,” the younger man hinted. 

“What is it?” Gibbs demanded. McGee simply turned the screen so he could see. 

“Hit the arrow key to go to the next photo. Boss, I only looked at the first four, and then I realized what it was.” McGee focused his attention elsewhere. Gibbs looked at the screen and saw what appeared to be the nude back of a woman taken with a telephoto lens through a split in the curtain. It wasn’t until the next photo that he realized he recognized the curves of said woman, and the one after that told him exactly who it was. Gibbs flipped through the rest of them, trying to figure out where the angle was before getting to one that was a different image altogether. The redhead woman was asleep on a couch, and the next series had a man walking in and checking on her. Gibbs recognized the evening right away. He was the one checking on Jenny when she’d fallen asleep on her couch in the office. 

“McGee,” Gibbs growled, showing him just the one of Jenny on the sofa. 

“Boss, I told you I didn’t look,” he froze. “That’s her office.” 

“Ya think? Get up there now and sweep the office. Have Cynthia open up every filing cabinet and door that’s locked. If she gives you any grief show her these,” Gibbs ordered, and McGee nodded, grabbing what he would need and heading up the stairs. Gibbs was already on the phone. 

“David,” Ziva greeted quickly.

“You at the house?” Gibbs questioned. 

“Yes, nothing appears out of the ordinary, though I suppose I should ignore the familiar suit jacket in the guest bedroom,” Ziva replied. 

“Have you ever used spycams?” 

“In Mossad, yes,” Ziva admitted. 

“Check all the places you would put them and double-check the ones your brother would put them,” he ordered, knowing Ziva would get the hint. Look for where a man might get the possible shots. “If you find any…”

“Remove them?” 

“Call Abby first, see if she can trace the signals.” 

“There is one other thing,” Ziva started. “When I first got here, there was a car parked outside, not necessarily in front of the house, but it’s where I would park if I didn’t want to be noticed.” 

“Have McGee run it.” 

“Yes, Gibbs.” 

\---

“Abby,” Jenny called as she came into the lab. She didn’t get a response. “Abby?” She tried again. It wasn’t often, but occasionally the Goth disappeared to the bullpen or autopsy. Abby was not in the lab.  _ I’ll just try Ducky.  _

\---

Gibbs came down into the lab only to find it deserted. No, Abby, No Jenny.  _ Where the _ … He picked up his phone and called Abby. 

“Hello, El Jefe,” Abby greeted. 

“Where are you?”

“With Tony, he said you told him we were supposed to go back to the field and double-check… he better not have been lying to me.” 

“No, Abs, that’s what I said. You already left?” 

“Tony made it seem like time was of the essence.” 

“You didn’t see the Director?” 

“No, should I have? Were we supposed to wait for her? Tony, I told you we’d get into…”

“No, Abs, you’re fine. It’s fine. Just stay with Tony and tell him I want updates every thirty minutes.” 

“Copy that.” He hung up and tried Jen’s cell phone only for it to go to voicemail. 

“Jen, quit breaking Rule 3, where the hell are you?” He closed his phone before opening it and calling McGee. 

“Boss?”

“McGee, I know Abby did something to my wallet.”

“The uh tracker Boss, I really didn’t know…”

“Whatever she did, did she do it the Director?” 

“She put something in her briefcase, it’s currently saying it’s in her office, Boss,” McGee said, checking the computer.

“Which is where she left it.”

“I thought the Director was going to Abby’s lab.”

“She’s not here, McGee.” 

“Hang on, we have cameras in that hall,” McGee said as he tapped into them. “She went back into the elevator about ten minutes ago. She went down, but I can’t tell where I can start scanning the floors.” 

“Do it. I’m going to check with Ducky.” 

\----

“Ducky?” Jenny called as she stepped into autopsy. 

“Ah Jennifer, hello,” Ducky greeted, standing up from a table where bones were laid out. “I haven’t seen Gibbs since we last spoke.” 

“No, I was looking for Abby.” 

“I believe she was leaving with Tony, Gibbs sent them out to look for more remains again.” 

“I thought we checked the area.” 

“Double check, Jethro had a theory supported by Abby’s profile of the timing of kills, he suggested there might be as many as three or four more bodies.” 

“Oh,” Jenny said. 

“I see he left that part out of his update,” Ducky sighed. 

“We were discussing the cold case,” Jenny replied. “Apparently, he’s gotten it into his head that I’m a potential target.” 

“Well, I suppose you could fit the type.” 

“Not helping, Ducky.” 

“Well, my dear, how about a cup of tea or something?” 

“No, thank you, Ducky, I’ll just head back to my office,” she said, turning and leaving. She could see the elevator was in use and decided the stairs wouldn’t bother her too much. 

\-----

“Ducky!” Gibbs called as he stormed into autopsy. 

“Jethro quit bellowing like a drill sergeant; my hearing is just fine.”

“Have you seen Jenny?”

“Ah, yes, the lovely Director was just here, five minutes ago, was looking for Abby.” 

“And?”

“Well, we discussed the case and…”

“Ducky, where did she go?” 

“She said she was heading to her office,” Ducky said, somewhat surprised with Gibbs’ tone. “Jethro is something the…”

“McGee, where is she?” He snapped into the phone. 

“She didn’t get on the elevator boss, you would have run into her, and she didn’t leave the building. Hang on; I’ve got her, she went up the stairs down the hall on the left.” Ducky didn’t get a word out as Gibbs flew back out the room and down the hall. 

“What floor, McGee?”

“I don’t know, Boss, the lighting isn’t great in the stairwell, and we don’t have a lot of cameras.”

“Start checking the floors.” 

“Yes, Boss.” 

“McGee, if you send the building into lockdown…”

“It will lock the staircase doors; she wouldn’t be able to get back on to the floor.” 

“Call me when you finish checking the floors or in five minutes, whichever comes first.” He didn’t wait for the response before closing the phone and opening the stairwell.  _ God damn it, Jen, just stay put.  _

\---

Jenny was regretting the staircase. The heels combined with the minor damage to her ankle from the snake adventure last week was doing her in. She was halfway between floors and realized there was no way she was even walking to the bullpen.  _ Okay, get out on the next level and take the elevator, that sounds like a great plan. Ouch.  _ She paused a minute as the pain radiated again.  _ On second thought, let’s sit a minute.  _ She went to her pocket to call Cynthia only to realize her phone wasn’t there.  _ Probably sitting on Ziva’s desk _ .  _ Well, this sucks.  _ She heard someone on the stairs below her and sighed.  _ Great impression. Director is sitting down on the job, literally _ . Thirty seconds later, she was facing her former partner’s Glock. She said the first thing that came to mind. 

“Attic.” 

\----

Gibbs was going to kill her. After he was assured she was okay and no one had slipped into NCIS, he was going to kill her. Maybe kiss her then kill her? It wasn’t enough that he knew about what was in her head to know that a kiss would probably be welcome. He wanted to get to the end of the journal before he got to that point. First, he had to find her.  _ Jen, you are a freaking magnet for trouble _ , he thought silently to himself. He saw shoes peeking out of the railing on the flight ahead of him. If someone had harmed a hair on her head… he aimed his gun to make sure it would be right between their eyes, and then he heard it. 

“Attic.”  _ Attic? Wait; what _ ? He dropped the gun seeing Jenny by herself sitting on the stairs. “Attic,” she repeated with her green eyes meeting his cobalt ones. It had been a lifetime ago that they used that word as their code, they were fine, they were alone, unharmed. It was also a duress word if they were apart, multipurpose code word which he had honestly thought he’d never hear again. He holstered his gun and offered her a hand up, which she took, and he pulled her to her feet but didn’t entirely stop there. Before either one could blink, he had his arms around her squeezing her tight for a second. 

“Damn it, Jen, don’t do that,” he whispered, then he had her at arm’s length visually checking her over. “Anyone else up here?” 

“No, Jethro, just me. I was just going to my office. Wasn’t aware that…”

“McGee found something else. I’ve been looking everywhere for you, why did you leave Abby’s lab?” 

“Abby wasn’t there, you sent her out, remember?” 

“Right, I didn’t realize she would have already left when you said you were going down there.” 

“Well, then I thought she might be with Ducky, you must have just missed me.” 

“Yea… we need to install more cameras in the stairs,” he said. 

“I’ll ask for it in the budget request,” she assured. “Why?”

“Because the lighting is terrible and there is not enough,” Gibbs snapped, pulling out his phone. “McGee, I got her,” he said. She heard an “Okay” before the phone disconnected. She was slightly confused; something didn’t add up here. 

_ Think this through Jenny,  _ she told herself  _ One, you have a passing resemblance to a victim and could potentially meet the suspect’s criteria, Two, you were tangentially involved in a cold case of one victim of which you could be a potential surrogate, Three, there are likely more bodies following some kind of pattern, note, ask Abby about the pattern. That’s really not enough for him to go hunting you down through a secure federal building. _

“Jethro, what did McGee find?” She inquired using her Director tone. 

“Let’s discuss it upstairs,” he went to move, and she felt her support going, and out of balance grabbed his shoulder.

“Let’s discuss it right here,” she snapped, trying to cover up the pain. 

“Are you hurt?” He double-checked her again. 

“I’m fine. My ankle is bothering me from our snake adventure.” She felt him sigh and slip one arm around her waist, guiding her toward the door to the floor. 

“Let’s go see Ducky,” he told her. 

“That doesn’t end this conversation,” she argued. They got to the elevator with no one seeing them, and he made sure she was standing before letting go and hitting the button for autopsy. She reached across him and shut off the elevator. “What did McGee find?” 

“Jen c’mon,” he tried going for the appeal to her pain. 

“You remember when I took a round to the thigh, we didn’t have pain killers; I survived, this is nothing, so we can wait five minutes.” 

“McGee found a camera memory card.” 

“And?” She waited; he was trying to decide how much to tell her. “Jethro, this is going to go one of two ways,” she started. “One, you tell me, and I hear it from you, my former partner, in relative privacy. Two, I have Ziva interrogate McGee with a paperclip and get the answers in front of DiNozzo.”  _ Well, gee Jen when faced with those options.  _

“They contain photos of you in the house.” He answered, giving her a good Gibbs glare to go along with it. 

“And judging by your response, I’m guessing some of them are in my bedroom.” It didn’t take a whole lot for her to figure out why his blood pressure would be up. “How bad?”

“I didn’t see the whole set,” he answered honestly. “There’s a gap in the bedroom curtains,” he replied before she could ask. 

“They’re not from inside the house?” 

“Not the ones I saw, Ziva is checking for cameras now.” 

“The house is swept regularly,” she reminded him.

“Ziva will be looking at it from a different perspective.” 

“Okay, but that’s not all.” 

“No.” 

“How close did they get?” 

“Your office.” 

“Inside?  
“Possibly, it could be a good telephoto lens from one of the buildings with a line of sight.” 

“A potential sniper roost,” she guessed. He seemed somewhat surprised. “Oh please, Jethro, you were already thinking about it. I was your partner for years; I picked up some things.”  _ Well no, I hadn’t been thinking of a sniper, thank you so much for putting that thought in my head.  _ There was no way he was going to let her go to her office now. 

“You’re not going back there.” 

“I’ll go to MTAC,” she bargained. “I need to keep working, Jethro.” 

“And you’re not going home tonight.”

“Yes, I am.” 

“Jenny, you’re not going home till we know for sure…”

“I am going home tonight. You are welcome to come with and check the house yourself if it’s going to make you feel better, but I am not getting scared out of my house. Le Grenouille didn’t do, Trent Kort didn’t do it, and I’ll be damned if anyone else does,” she fought. The mention of the frog had him flashing back to the unfinished journal entry.  **_I didn’t need my lead agent tonight. I needed my friend. I needed someone I wouldn’t have tried so hard to hide the tears from._ **

“Okay,” he agreed. She leaned her head back and looked at him.

“Okay?”

“I’m staying.” 

“Fine.” He flipped the switch and let the elevator continue down to autopsy. As the doors opened, he slipped his arm around her again to support her weak side. He squeezed her side gently. 

“We’re going to get him, Jenny, it’s going to be okay.” She smiled and nodded her agreement. 

“I know.”  _ Well done, Jethro.  _

  
  



	15. When  you break my heart

**When you break my heart**

**[the pain never really goes away]**

Ducky was not thrilled to see the two of them, particularly as he could tell the Director was limping. Two of his best friends, and yet they could not seem to keep from fighting. Honestly, he preferred them in Paris. Just more comfortable to leave them to their own devices and lock them in a room. Now, it was just as likely that they’d kill each other. Perhaps more if the scuttlebutt that young McGee had brought him was anything to go by. 

McGee had appeared flying down the staircase to warn him that there might be a situation, and he should get his medical supplies together. As he was doing so, the young man let out a breath of relief and set his phone down. He had asked McGee what the problem seemed to be, and McGee had given him half a smile and replied that Gibbs and the Director were at it, and Gibbs was armed. 

Honestly, Ducky wasn’t that worried about it, but now that he saw her limping, well…

“Do I want to know what happened?” Ducky inquired as he stood, and Gibbs helped the Director to sit on the autopsy table. 

“Aftereffect of the snake attack,” Jenny joked.

“Her heels tried to kill her,” Gibbs said at the same moment. 

“Boss,” McGee said awkwardly, announcing his presence. “There’s a team checking the Director’s office now. And Tony called, said he and Abby needed to talk to you.” 

“McGee, can you timestamp some of those photos?” 

“Uh...yes? I mean kind of, but um Boss, there’s a couple of others in the batch you’re going to want to…” 

“Agent McGee,” Jenny snapped, looking up from the way Ducky was wrapping her ankle. “Do I want to know why you think Agent Gibbs should see those photos?” 

“Um...he’s in them?” McGee stuttered. 

“Well, he does barge into my office regularly,” Jenny reminded. 

“Yes ma’am, except Director, these are not from the office,” McGee tried again. 

“Where McGee?” 

“Uh, there’s a couple from your house, Boss, Basement, I think. And um...there’s one in a bedroom, but I’m guessing the bedroom isn’t yours, Director, it’s not the same room as the other set. It’s um...in black and white, so it’s hard to tell exactly, but I think the walls are white or light in color, the comforter is darker…”

“McGee,” Gibbs said, holding out his hand. McGee handed over the memory card. “Anything else on it?” 

“No, Boss, I um...didn’t go through all the picture files, but they are all picture files. Unedited so the camera must at least have a black and white setting,” McGee explained. McGee’s phone then rang, and he answered it. 

“McGee? How long does it take to track down the Boss?” 

“You’re on speaker DiNozzo,” Gibbs snapped. 

“Oh hi, Boss,” Tony greeted. 

“Hi, Gibbs!” Came Abby’s much happier greeting. 

“What do you have?” 

“Your hunch was right, Boss, got some park rangers here and turns out there’s a coyote den around, tracked down some more human remains. Palmer is guessing three more bodies. Recently too, within the last year. Guess that means he’s going for the low-risk victim next,” Tony explained. 

“Yes, it does,” Gibbs said, glancing over at the redhead Director. 

“Gibbs, there’s a lot of blood evidence here,” Abby said. “It seems like he might have um...used other methods than the woodchipper.” 

“That would correspond with what I’ve found,” Ducky announced. “It would seem that the only low-risk victim was killed with the woodchipper, the high-risk ones were simply gutted.” 

“Sure it’s the same killer?” Jenny asked. 

“Very, Director,” came Abby’s response. “We’ve found foreign DNA, but no matches.” 

“Abby, when?” Gibbs snapped.

“Oh um, didn’t I tell you that Gibbs, I guess I thought Ducky had,” Abby tried for innocent but failed.

“Bring back the remains and evidence,” Gibbs snapped, closing McGee’s phone and handing it back. “McGee, go up to the lab and get it ready, call Ziva and tell her I want an update in twenty minutes.” 

“Right, Boss,” McGee said before hightailing it out of the autopsy suite. 

“Anything else you want to tell me, Duck?” Gibbs inquired. 

“No, I apologize, I thought Abby had shared that DNA discovery.” 

“Let’s try that again, Dr. Mallard,” Jenny snapped. “What kind of DNA evidence was recovered?” 

“The intimate kind,” Jenny said nothing in response as she heard Gibbs' hand slam on the table behind her. She didn’t even flinch. 

“You're telling me they were raped and then murdered?” 

“Given the decay of the remains, I can’t actually determine in which order that happened yet, I’m running further tests,” Ducky explained.

“Well, I’ll expect a full briefing in an hour, Dr. Mallard,” Jenny ordered. “You might not like it, but I still have to report to SecNav.” 

“You should stay off your ankle, Director,” Ducky warned. She waved her hand as she slid off the table and picked up her heels, heading for the door. 

“Jenny,” Gibbs' voice stopped her. 

“Yes, I know, no office, I’ll be in MTAC,” She replied. “Or aren’t you coming?” She asked over her shoulder. 

“One hour, Ducky,” he snapped before following her. He caught up to her at the elevator. “You okay?” 

“I’m fine, Jethro, I’m irritated but fine,” she replied. 

“When were you planning to go home?” 

“I don’t know; I have so much work to do.” 

“Let’s try and change up your schedule. We’re leaving at four.” 

“Jethro, you never leave that early.” 

“Exactly, be ready,” he said as he stepped off the elevator on the bullpen floor. She rolled her eyes and pressed the close door button. Her phone rang as the door closed. 

“Shepard,” she answered.

“Jenny.”

“Ziva, why do I get the feeling I’m not going to like this conversation.” 

“Abby called me.”

“How did you convince Ducky not to say anything about the DNA evidence?” 

“We suggested that Gibbs might overreact,” Ziva replied. 

“Other than a 24/7 protection detail, he’s fine,” She replied. 

“And is that 24/7 protection detail a silver fox Marine as Abby would say?”

“Cute.” 

“I will give him my analysis of the brownstone then,” Ziva said. 

“And what is the analysis?”   
“I found no evidence of cameras in the house,” Ziva related. “I scoped the surrounding area and found a perimeter alarm that is not part of your security plans. My guess is that it was in place to notify this person when you or someone entered the house. I found several areas that photos could be taken from.”

“Any evidence?” 

“Not yet,” Ziva replied. 

“He wants us to leave at four this afternoon.” 

“Changing up your predictable schedule is wise, but perhaps…”

“Oh, I’ve thought about it. Going home early with him might cause this suspect to make a mistake.” 

“Yes, but it could be costly.” 

“I know, and so does he.” 

“And other matters?” 

“He has to get through the ex-wife, the Chimera, and Carson.” 

“You never did talk about the Chimera,” Ziva said. “I know what we went through, but you…”

“Ziva, I need to go. Call Gibbs and give him your update,” Jenny said hurriedly and hung up the phone. She wasn’t ready to talk about the Chimera with anyone. She met Cynthia inside MTAC and settled in for her work. 

\---

Gibbs fingered the memory card. He really did not want to look at the photos, but he knew he would need to assess the level of threat. He considered going back to McGee, but without knowing what all the images were, he’d didn’t want to risk Jenny like that. McGee could be discrete, but it would be better if he just didn’t know. 

The serial killer, plus a stalker, could suggest that it was one suspect, but Gibbs didn’t want to be that close-minded. If he focused on that train of thought, he could miss the apparent threat. 

Either way, she wasn’t going home without him. Gibbs placed the memory drive on his desk and pulled out the red-bound journal. The last entry was still in the days of the Frog, and Gibbs wasn’t sure he really wanted to know more than he did. Or worse, find she hadn’t written anything about it and therefore wasn’t dealing with it. His curiosity eventually won out. 

**_Gibbs has three ex-wives. I like to think of it as a quirk. Apparently, Hollis Mann shares my opinion._ **

Of all the cases she was going to write about, it would be the ex-wife. The emotions surrounding that case and its fallout were still on the surface for him. The way he saw each of the women was still hard for him to process. It was the moment when he realized once and for all that, Jenny was always going to be different.

**_I guess I should be grateful it was Stephanie and not Diane. Though at least if it was Diane, I could have called Fornell for extra help. Stephanie was just...difficult. Probably because she brought up memories I was trying to suppress, particularly with Colonel Mann around. Jealousy, envy, not particularly flattering traits._ **

**_Perhaps the only thing that made the case better was Jethro was equally discomforted by it. The only thing that man hates more than bad guys are ex-wives meeting current potentials and other exes. I bet it just grated his teeth that I was talking to Stephanie, too. Mainly since it would have been nice to know that she didn’t know about me. Thank god she said something first._ **

**_Of course, that raises the question about why she didn’t know about me. He took up with her after I left, or at least I always thought he had., but maybe...No. No. No. You’ve never doubted Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Don’t start now. You screwed that up all on your own._ **

**_You, Jennifer Shepard, do not get to put this on him. You broke your own damn heart._ **

He noticed tear stains on the page and sighed. The past was something they hadn’t ever discussed. Gibbs knew why he never told Stephanie about Jenny and instead told her about Shannon; he wanted Stephanie to realize she was a replacement, just for a different woman. 

**_And you had your reasons. And with what you did? You’re insane, Shepard. You get to keep this pain, and it would serve you right if he does marry the Colonel. He should be happy, and she makes him that way. Not you._ **

Gibbs was surprised by that ending. Jenny Shepard didn’t give up. It wasn’t in her vocabulary, but clearly, she felt she should.  _ Something changed her mind; he _ pondered, considering her words from a night in her house just a few weeks ago.  _ With what you did _ ? What had she done? He remembered there was a piece to the entry before. It hadn’t seemed like a new one, but he thought maybe, he flipped back a page to see her script. This wasn’t dated like the other entries. It was written in a different pen but seemed attached to the previous entry. 

**_Now it’s just me. And I have an arms dealer to catch._ **

**_I caught up to him. We had a fascinating chat until his handler showed up. I should never have left the gun, but Jethro’s fucking words were echoing in my head. If the weapon was loaded, and I wasn't here, would you have pulled the trigger? Honest answer, probably it crossed my mind for a half-second. I’m glad I didn’t, I wouldn’t have learned who actually killed my father._ **

**_Now I know. And now, I have evidence to bury, and this time, this time, Gibbs can’t protect me._ **

_ Goddamnit Jenny,  _ Gibbs thought. He ripped the page out of the journal before he could think about it and folded it into his pocket. He knew where that evidence was. The overwhelming feeling to shake her till her teeth rattled swept him, and he snapped the book closed.  _ This is what you get for reading her personal property _ , Gibbs sighed. He pulled the memory stick and looked it over as he heard DiNozzo come in. 

“Hey Boss, the remains are with Ducky and Abby’s back in the lab,” he reported. 

“Good,” Gibbs said. 

“Gibbs,” came Ziva’s voice. 

“You’re supposed to be checking the Director’s house,” Gibbs reminded me. 

“Checked. Double checked. There are no cameras inside the house. There is a perimeter alarm that is not part of the security system, so unless you knew…”

“No, it’s not part of the security system,” Gibbs said. 

“It works on a radio frequency. I sent it to McGee to have him clone it so we can monitor too.” 

“Good.” 

“So…” DiNozzo started. 

“There’s evidence to suggest you should probably check my house too,” Gibbs said. Ziva nodded. “DiNozzo, go with her.” The two turned and started to move toward the elevator. “Ziva.” Tony froze and looked to his partner as she turned and saw Gibbs waving her closer. 

“Yes, Gibbs?” Ziva said quietly. 

“You still monitor your network,” Gibbs said, not asked. “You would know if someone came for your friend. You might even warn them.” 

“I have heard nothing,” Ziva replied. He nodded, and she darted off. 

“What was that about?” He heard Tony ask her. 

“Dad seems worried about Mom,” she replied as the elevator doors closed. Gibbs had half a smile.  _ Yea, Dad’s worried _ , he thought as he turned and went up the stairs to MTAC. He let himself into MTAC and spotted his former partner sitting in the front row, her loyal assistant next to her. Cynthia handed some case files over and turned to leave the room. She spotted him and walked straight to him, checking behind her to make sure Jenny was focused on the screen. 

“Agent Gibbs,” Cynthia greeted quietly. 

“Clear the room, Cynthia. We need a minute,” Gibbs told her. Apparently, whatever his team had told Cynthia seemed to have put Gibbs in her good graces. Cynthia nodded and pulled her phone, sending a short text message. Quietly, one by one, the three MTAC techs looked at their phones and got up and left. Cynthia waited until they were all gone before nodding again to Gibbs and leaving as well. He sat down next to his partner, feeling her eyes on him and, more importantly, his coffee. He sighed, handing it over. 

“You’re giving me your coffee, this can’t be good,” Jenny sighed. “What is it?” 

“The files on the flash drive, there’s over 300,” Gibbs explained. 

“And is McGee going to be able to look me in the eyes?” 

“He didn’t look through them. Only a handful. He’s confirmed they’re all photo files, no videos.” 

“Well, that’s something.” Jenny looked around, noticing they were utterly alone. “There a reason you cleared the room?” 

“Yea, you’re going to help me with the photos,” Gibbs said, handing her the memory stick. 

“Didn’t you say something about staring at photos in the dark,” she teased with half a smile. She got a Gibbs glare in return. Jenny got up and inserted the memory stick, and pulled up the series on the screen. 

“Before we start, Jen, think long and hard if there’s anything in the last year you don’t want me to know about,” Gibbs warned. 

“Considering you’ve shown up in a few, perhaps I should return that question,” She commented. 

“No.” 

“Well, then.” She sorted the photos to earliest, noticing the dates were encrypted, and then she pulled it up. And there she was in full color, sitting in MTAC with a crowd of people, she was wearing a black blazer but her hair...was longer. 

“This is your first day as Director,” Gibbs announced. 

“You seem awfully certain about that,” She replied. 

“Yea, I’m certain,” his voice was a little hoarse. “Zoom in, just over your shoulder.” She did, and sitting in the back row was Tom Morrow, and she saw Jethro. 

“That was a classified mission,” Jenny said. 

“All it tells us is there was a reason he was in the room,” Gibbs cautioned. She flipped to the next one; it was a series from his basement that first day and a second series where she was in her bedroom. She moved as if going to the window. 

“That’s the first night,” She said. “You called and said you were outside.” Gibbs sighed. “What?”

“How long had you been going back and forth between NCIS at that point?” 

“Not very, maybe half a dozen times.”

“So, he followed you.” 

“I think I would have noticed,” Jenny said. “It also would have taken time to scope it out.” 

“Then, he has access to your confidential file. Your residence is kept secret for obvious reasons. Your team takes a varied route when they take you home, and too many times, spotting the same car would have already raised flags. 

“And they can’t have followed you because it was the first day, and you had no idea,” Jenny sighed. She flipped to the next set, another from MTAC, Jenny focused on a coffee cup. 

“Ziva,” Gibbs said. 

“The day she showed up,” Jenny confirmed. “That was...a month after my first day as Director.” 

“Was that your first day, Jen?” 

“No, I wasn’t supposed to start till after Agent Todd’s funeral,” Jenny explained. Gibbs looked over at her. “Morrow was under the impression that you might listen to me.” Gibbs chuckled. 

“I did,” he reminded her. She glared. “Eventually.”

She turned to flip through more photos and stopped on another set from her bedroom. She was getting undressed; it appeared from an event. She’d been wearing a full-length black gown. 

“Marine Corps Birthday Ball,” Jenny said. “I got dressed in the office.” 

“You went home alone?” Gibbs seemed surprised. She ignored the comment and flipped to the next set. “Stop,” Gibbs told her. She stopped flipping and went back. It was one photo, not a series, but it was Jethro in his basement looking at a piece of paper. 

“This is new,” she commented. She wasn’t in the photo. “Do you…” She faded off as she saw an expression on his face that screamed of pain. “Jethro?” She said gently. He seemed to shake off the feeling at her voice, staring at her for a moment. 

“It was the case with the model,” he said. She said nothing looking away. She didn’t want to guess what that piece of paper was; she was pretty sure she wrote it. Gibbs turned back to the screen, and she advanced the images. She saw a few of the two of them walking back into NCIS; this was after her kidnapping, which meant...she fast-forwarded. “Jen Stop.” 

He stood taking control from her. Jenny froze at his voice and touch, relinquishing the remote back to him. He flipped back to the first in the series, recognizing the outfit and the haunted look in her eyes. 

“Jen, it’s over,” Jethro told her. “Dempsey is dead.” 

“That’s not it,” she sighed. “I mean...it’s part of it. You don’t remember that case, though.” 

“Your kidnapping? You're damn straight, I remember it, and I remember taking you home.” She seemed surprised but said nothing. There just as he remembered was a photo of her in her bedroom writing something and then coming to the door and him just out in the hallway. Another series saw him bringing her back to her room and tucking her in. The next photo surprised him; she was standing alone with a cell phone to her ear and the expression; the expression was heartbreaking. “Jen?” 

“That’s the White House event I was at,” she said. 

“What event?” 

“The night of the explosion. That’s probably Tony calling to break the news,” she said, looking away from the screen. There weren’t any of the hospitals through which he thought was interesting. She apparently noticed as well. “There’s none from the hospital.” 

“I noticed.” The next batch was her, only her standing in an empty basement. 

“This is from Mexico,” she said to mark it for him. “Tobias and I took turns checking the house.” She said as if it explained everything. The next set of photos was her undressing. 

“McGee was right; this isn’t your house.”  _ It’s mine.  _

“August,” she guessed. “Probably around August 4.” 

“You seem sure?”

“The next day, I briefed Tony on the op to catch Le Grenouille,” she said coldly. Suddenly that penny dropped in Gibbs’ head, the reason she left, the reason she’d been distant when he came back. She’d given up something in her quest for revenge, and it had broken her heart. 

“You made a choice,” he reminded her. 

“I did.”

“Make another,” he told her. 

“It’s not my choice to make.” Jenny turned back to the photos and felt him stand behind her, a hand squeezing her shoulder, and she tilted her head just a little towards it.  _ It’s a start.  _


	16. When I say that I like you

**When I say that I like you**

**[I really do, more than you could understand]**

_ It’s a start _ , Gibbs thought, feeling Jenny tilt her head towards his hand on her shoulder. He had no idea his partner’s thoughts were the same. They continued sifting through the photos, many he didn’t recognize from being in Mexico at the time. The first one he did recognize was her staring out the window in her office. It was a series, and the minuscule facial expression told him that something was different. She looked the way she always did to him, but as he flipped backward and then forward again, he could tell it was because of a change in her. 

“It’s when you came back to help Ziva,” Jenny said, acting as if he didn’t remember. He nodded. As he continued, he noticed the photographs kept at her house, her office, MTAC, and public events. It told him that the shutterbug was aware Jenny didn’t come by his house anymore or at least not as frequently. It also said to him that the shutterbug didn’t work for NCIS, because he missed the moment she handed him back his badge. He would let Jenny come to that conclusion on her own. He froze on a series that wasn’t her office but still clearly in NCIS. 

“That’s the bullpen,” he said. She had someone up against the window, and if Gibbs squinted, he was pretty sure it was himself. She snorted at the photo. 

“I couldn’t decide if I was going to kill you or not,” Jenny told him, turning to face him, the scene eerily similar. 

“I had a similar feeling,” Gibbs replied, pointing at her. “You decided to come clean about Tony’s op.” 

“It does tell us that he wasn’t following us regularly. These photos are random, but,” she said, flipping ahead. “Now, we go back to seeing that regular photography that was similar to before you left for Mexico.” 

“You said no one was following you.” 

“No one was.” 

“Clearly he was,” Jethro pointed to the screen. 

“It’s not regular surveillance,” she protested. 

“So, what about these moments are triggers?” He asked her. She wanted to state the obvious, but she figured he already figured that one out. Gibbs continued flipping through, staring at a few longer than others. “Did you know that Abby and McGee can hack CCTV footage?”

“Does this have something to do with these photos?” Jenny inquired, withholding a smirk. 

“Just a thought, maybe check some of the local footage, DC has almost as many cameras as New York,” he said. “Did you know?”

“I caught Abby once, she only does it at my request now,” Jenny replied. 

“What did she hack?” 

“Paris Metro, PD.” 

“Why?”

“She wanted to win a bet with Tony,” Jenny answered. He smirked, and then it fled from his face as he saw an image from Jenny in her study walking in, staring at something on her desk. A bottle of scotch. 

“That’s from the back of the house,” He told her. She nodded. 

“There wouldn’t be anything before that would there?” She asked. He flipped back again. 

“No,” he answered. He, too, was disappointed. Someone had gotten into her house. “The back of the house is new,” he pointed out. 

“That perimeter alert Ziva found,” Jenny started. “Whoever put the bottle of scotch there tripped it.” 

“Noemi would have tripped it too,” Gibbs said. Jenny froze, glancing from the photos at Gibbs. 

“They did it while she was in the house,” Jenny concluded. He didn’t seem surprised. “You already suspected that.” 

“I had considered it,” Gibbs told her. She nodded. Flipping to the expected confrontation in her study. He was surprised that after he left, she threw the glass and watched it shatter. There were additional photographs of her in her study, sitting on her couch, curled in a ball. “Jen?”   
“It’s after we saw the explosion of Tony’s car.” And then they were back in her house, except this was her bedroom and she was going through something on her bed before leaving her room. He saw she came out of the house and turned down the block. And then he saw someone head to her door. “What the…” 

“Who is that?” Gibbs demanded. Jenny zoomed in on the screen, and heading toward Jenny’s front door was Trent Kourt. “Is that?”

“Trent Kourt,” she snapped. She could hear the growl more than anything. His phone was out, and he was barking orders into it. 

“Ziva find me, Trent Kourt, now.” Jenny paused a minute before going back through the series. 

“Jethro stop,” she shouted, drawing his attention back to her. 

“Kourt isn’t behind this. The shutterbug caught him on the camera. So Kourt may have been following me, may have broken into the house, but he’s not the one taking these photos, and he didn’t kill the other women.” 

“That doesn’t mean I can’t find him and interrogate him. He might have seen…”

“No,” she ordered. She pulled his phone away. “Ziva, continue what you were doing. Start profiling people who have been at the Naval Yard since 2005.” She hung up before getting a response and put the phone down next to the computers. “It’s not Kourt.” 

“Jenny,” he growled. “What is it with that freaking CIA Agent?” 

“Jethro...Kourt followed me.”

“Yea, I got that Jen, he followed you, he had to have been following you throughout your op. He might have seen.” She shrugged his hand off and turned towards the screen again. 

“He followed me to the marina,” Jenny said quietly. Gibbs stood still watching her. When he didn’t say anything, she looked up and met his eyes. She saw part surprise and seemed shocked herself. “Don’t look surprised; I was pretty sure you already suspected me.” 

He said nothing but flipped through the photos blowing them up and zooming in on her. Studying them. 

“You’re not carrying,” he told her. 

“I was not,” she agreed. Gibbs moved to stand in front of her putting his hands on her shoulder. 

“Who killed the Frog?” Gibbs asked her. She met his eyes. 

“Trent Kourt,” she answered. He exhaled a silent sigh of relief; her eyes didn’t twitch.  _ The evidence, though… _

“Whose gun did he use, Jen?” She didn’t answer. “Who’s gun, Jen?” 

“Mine, he used mine,” she whispered. 

“Did you see it?” 

“No,” she said quietly. “I didn’t even hear it. The next morning the gun magazine was back on my desk in my study with a note.” 

“He threatened you?” 

“Not directly,” she replied. “He threatened the agency. I took it seriously.” 

“So if the body surfaces…”   
“He’ll take the credit.” 

“Where’s the gun?” 

“I don’t know, I assume either in the drink or locked in a vault somewhere in the CIA,” she said quietly. He pulled her into his chest, holding her tight. As the minutes passed, she felt her tremble stop and relax into him before she started to push away. “We have to finish this,” she told him, taking back the remote to control the photos. 

“He doesn’t have photos of the marina.” 

“Which means he wasn’t following me, as I said.” The next photo series was inside her office with the Colonel and Gibbs. “Oh, the ex-wife case,” she guessed. 

“Great.” He mumbled. 

“You should have been grateful it was Stephanie, it could have been Diane,” Jenny reminded him. He said nothing. “There,” she said, and he stopped. It was her in her bedroom window. She was getting undressed, but she moved away from the window, and then the camera zoomed out, catching the block in front of her house and a car parked in front. “The car.” He had been hoping she wouldn’t notice that. 

“You uh recognize it?” 

“You don’t?” She inquired. He sat down in the chair behind her. She turned to face him. “You have something you want to say to me?” 

“I almost called you that night.” 

“You were with Hollis, pretty sure that would not have been a good idea,” she said sarcastically. 

“She left that night.” She had wondered about that. The timing made a lot more sense to her now. “I know you would have listened. I know you wouldn’t have said a word except to ask me if I’d like a bourbon. I went for a drive and ended up there. Then I just went home.” She nodded. Jenny sat down next to him, taking a sip of the coffee. She flipped through the photos continuing and found one she couldn’t quite remember, judging from her clothes it was an early morning but she was answering her door. 

“What was this?” She asked, looking at him. He flipped back and continued. 

“Chimera,” he guessed. “I dropped by because we needed your signature or something before we left.” 

“Right,” she replied, rubbing her temples. 

“Let’s take a break,” he told her. “I’ll check in with the team, you do…”

“Run the agency?” 

“Right, that, we can go through the rest of these tonight.” 

“I thought you said we were leaving at four,” she said. 

“I did, we are, so you’ve got three and a half hours to deal with the rest of the agency,” he replied, getting up and taking the memory stick with him. “Later, Jen,” he called over his shoulder, and she heard the door close seconds later. He left his coffee behind. 

\----

DiNozzo and Ziva were both in the lab when Gibbs walked in. He watched as the two continued their argument while Abby and McGee seemed to have them tuned out running searches. He still wondered if Abby or Ziva had told Jenny about her journal. 

“Does anyone have an update?” Gibbs snapped, announcing his presence. 

“Gibbs!” Abby squealed. “Where have you been?”

“Working,” Gibbs replied. “Updates now.” 

“I took the Director’s suggestion and began compiling a list of Naval Yard personnel who have been here since 2005; I also went a step further to see if they were still here in 1997 when the missing woman was reported. There are several names, even a few that you interviewed, but it is the military so…” 

“So…”

“So we’re going to reinterview them, Boss,” Tony answered. “See if any have a woodchipper.” 

“Good, McGee?” 

“Patrol is reporting that everything is clear; the cameras seem to be dying down as they realize it’s an Agency-wide media blackout. Only ZNN has a crew left.”

“Vultures,” Gibbs commented. 

“We finished the identifications. Half the high-risk victims weren’t even reported missing, so we’re trying to track down next of kin and last known the locations. The ones we have identified we’ve reached out to kin and followed up on the people who last saw them. A couple of the other girls reported seeing a dark blue or black four small sedan, but it’s DC Boss,” McGee trailed off. 

“And all politicians and federal agents have dark-colored cars,” Gibbs agreed with a sigh. 

“Well, as McGee said, we got all the identifications, and I gotta tell you after reading up on our low-risk victims, he’s got a type, and he’s probably already picked.” 

“So how many daughters of Colonels are redheads?” McGee asked. 

“That’s not the whole profile McGee!” Abby snapped. “The fathers are dead.” 

“Suicide,” McGee said. 

“Yea, but aside from the first one, the other dads were dead before the girl went missing,” Abby explained. Gibbs looked over the files again. There was something just out of reach before it dawned. 

“Abby, what about the mothers?” 

“Of the girls? Well, the high-risk victims…”

“The low-risk ones,” Gibbs clarified. 

“Oh um, let’s see Zoe’s mom died in childbirth, the Marine colonel’s wife died in a car accident when Gina was three, and the Air Force one...cancer, Julie was four.” 

“Did the father remarry?” 

“No, single dad,” Abby said. “Wow, Zoe’s death was really the tipping point for her dad; in fact, there was an EMT call the night his daughter went missing. They revived him, but it was too late.” Gibbs was studying the files again. 

“McGee set up another search, daughters of widowed Army Colonels who committed suicide,” Gibbs said, and McGee set to work on the computer. Just as Gibbs was turning to leave, it beeped. “McGee?”

“Shortlist, Boss,” McGee prefaced. “Just one name.” 

“Jennifer Shepard,” Gibbs guessed. McGee nodded. “Same search for the Marines and AirForce.”

“Gibbs, do you think…” Abby started. 

“McGee, you are to stick to Abby like glue,” Gibbs ordered. 

“Yes, Boss.” McGee watched as Gibbs opened his phone. 

“DiNozzo, you don’t leave Ziva’s side until I tell you otherwise, got it?” 

“Sure, Boss, uh…” Gibbs didn’t hear the rest of DiNozzo’s response as he hung up. 

“Boss,” McGee started again. 

“McGee?”

“Ducky said you should go see him too,” McGee said. Gibbs nodded. 

“McGee?”   
“Yes, Boss?” 

“Monitor MTAC while I’m gone,” Gibbs ordered. 

“Yes, Boss,” McGee replied, setting up a computer to tap into the security cameras for MTAC. 

“Gibbs is worried?” Abby said. 

“That’s what Tony said.” Gibbs didn’t hear anything else as he got on the elevator. He flipped the switch for a minute, taking a breath.  _ Trent Kourt killed the Frog, surprise, surprise _ , Gibbs thought. He fingered the journal and took it out, quickly flipping to the newest entry running his fingers over her script.  _ Ducky first _ . The elevator opened on the autopsy floor as he flipped the switch again. 

“What you got, Ducky?” Gibbs called as he walked in. 

“Ah Jethro, so glad you could join me,” Ducky commented. “So I’ve had a chance to review the remains we have, and I believe I have two causes of death. The high risk like we suspected were stabbed and bled out and were probably just to tide him over as he stalked the other victims. They are the surrogates for the person he’s after.” 

“Yea, I got a good idea who that might be,” Gibbs said quietly. 

“Well, this is where it becomes tricky, judging by the conditions of the remains, I’m not entirely sure the women were dead before they went through the woodchipper,” Ducky explained. “The only thing that throws this off is Zoe’s skull, there appears to be a gunshot wound to her temporal, but given the conditions of the other skulls, it’s too hard to see if that was the case.” 

“Fatal?” 

“Would have been.” 

“Suicide?” 

“Difficult to say, given the condition of the bodies, not a willing one.” 

“Anything else you can tell me about these women?” 

“Unfortunately not,” Ducky replied. The two were silent. “How is she?” 

“There’s been a complication. It seems she has a shadow who likes photos,” Gibbs said. 

“How long?” 

“Practically since she became Director,” Gibbs answered angrily. 

“They would have done a deep dive on anyone and everyone who was in her life,” Ducky said, before pausing in thought, “I was always surprised that you didn’t seem to realize it.”

“No one ever asked me about her,” Gibbs explained. 

“Morrow? He filed a report saying he’d spoken to you…” Ducky trailed off. “Well, I guess that answers the question of if Morrow ever knew.” The silence was his only answer. “If nothing set off an alert, then he wasn’t directly in her life.” 

“That doesn’t help, she’s a public figure now, could be anyone,” Gibbs said. “DiNozzo and Ziva are interviewing people who work in the Naval Yard and who were interviewed in the first missing girl case.” 

“You think he works here?” 

“Possibly, some of the photos are from MTAC.” 

“And yet you left her in MTAC,” Ducky pointed out. 

“With her gun, McGee’s monitoring from the security feed.” 

“He could be too,” Ducky said. Gibbs nodded. 

“We’re leaving at four,” he told Ducky before turning and heading back up to the bullpen. He texted Cynthia to meet him outside MTAC ASAP; it was only two-thirty.  _ Let’s see if this works, _ Gibbs thought. Gibbs got off at the bullpen, walked to his desk and grabbed his coat before walking up the stairs and meeting Cynthia. 

“I have the Director’s coat and her bag,” Cynthia said quietly. 

“Did you do what I asked?” 

“I made it very clear to certain people that she would be in the building until four.” 

“Good, now go in there and hand her this, her eyes only,” Gibbs told Cynthia. Cynthia took the folded piece of paper, resisting the urge to look at it herself. She walked into MTAC and placed it inside the top file she was going to hand to her boss. 

“Director Shepard,” Cynthia greeted, giving her the file. “SecNav said this was important,” she continued with a bit of a chuckle. The redhead smiled. 

“Thank you, Cynthia,” she said, opening the file noticing the folded piece of paper. She carefully unfolded and noticed that Cynthia deliberately got up to talk to a tech, leaving her alone. _Conference Room, Five minutes._ _J_. She smiled slightly at it. Apparently, she had an appointment. “Cynthia,” she called. 

“Yes, Director,” Cynthia replied, coming back over. 

“I’m going to the ladies room for a minute, if Agent Gibbs comes back, he can wait,” Jenny said.

“Of course, Director,” Cynthia agreed with a smile. Jenny walked out of MTAC, checking the bullpen, but not seeing the team there; she was puzzled.  _ Where is everyone?  _ She pressed the button for the elevator and kept glancing over the catwalk. The door opened, and Gibbs was there. 

“Director,” he greeted. 

“Special Agent Gibbs,” she said as she got on the elevator and waited for the door to close. To her surprise, he didn’t flip the emergency switch but handed her her coat. 

“Put it on,” he told her. She did as she was told and found they were headed for the garage. The door opened, and he handed her her bag and briefcase. “C’mon.” He put his hand on her back and led her toward the car before helping her get in and running around to his side and getting in. 

“Well, this has me flashing back to Paris, where exactly are we going?” 

“Home,” he answered. She turned to him. 

“You said, four!” 

“Yep, I told Cynthia, Abby, Ducky, and McGee that too,” Gibbs said.

“We were never going to leave at four,” Jenny replied, catching on. 

“If it is someone at the Naval Yard, the best place for you to be is not there,” Gibbs reasoned. 

“Cynthia arranged meetings,” Jenny sighed. 

“She’s aware that there’s been a change of plans. She’s going to make excuses at the first one. We’re in a media blackout, so anyone outside the agency is going to have to take her at her word.” 

“And is home, my home, or your home?” 

“We had this conversation earlier,” He reminded. 

“And you said I could go home,” She responded. 

“I’m keeping my word,” he answered. “For now.” She nodded before going to her cell phone. “Turn it off, Jen.” 

“I’m sorry, are you actually telling me to break Rule 3?” She asked. He pulled out his phone and showed it was off. “Tony’s betting book will be filled by lunch tomorrow,” Jenny sighed. 

“Not if he knows what’s good for him,” Gibbs warned. The rest of the drive was silent. They got out at the house. Gibbs headed upstairs and swept the upstairs while she went into the study. He was down in minutes watching her through the open door. 

“Are we staying?” 

“For now,” he said. 

“Great, I’m changing,” she announced, heading past him and up the stairs. “I’ll set up the laptop to look at the photos when I get back.” He heard the door close and took a breath. He took off the coat and dropped it on the chair, sitting down and opening the little red journal. 

**_Explosion, Coma, Mexico, Sharif’s poison, and now this, his own government nearly kills him and his team. I tried to stay steps ahead, tried to find out what was so damn important on this ghost ship. Nothing is worth the life of my agents, and I nearly sent them all to their death. It was to be handled with the utmost importance, and so I put my best Agent on it. Next time anyone asks, I’m getting a full disclosure before I agree to assist. I don’t care if the order comes from the President._ **

**_I tried to watch their backs, and I failed, and it nearly cost them their lives. If Jethro...I can’t even write it. I can’t. I still feel as if I’d been punched. That round in the Czech, the stabbings and torture in Cairo, none of that comes close today. Now SecNav wants me to have an evaluation, isn’t sure I’m willing to make the call when needed. Screw him. I can and have made the call. I’ve watched good agents die, but not like this. Not because their government kills them._ **

**_If I ever get my hands on that Commander Skinner, I’ll skin him. As it is, his reputation is worthless now; I called in nearly all the favors I know, and I have Mac and Rabb getting ready to court-martial him. Perhaps I could add sexual harassment to it. I told him the truth, higher ranking, richer, and better-looking men have all tried and didn’t get far. Should have told him the other side of that truth, unless you’re a blue-eyed marine gunny/NCIS agent, it’s not going to work at all. Perhaps if I do ever see him, Jethro will be around as my detail. Now that would be fun._ **

**_He called Abby, which I understand completely. She’s his daughter, she was equally terrified and didn’t know what had happened. All I know is Cynthia called her into MTAC, and she got me out of there. I don’t remember too much about it. I should probably talk to her about it. He called Abby, not me. I thought he might come by the house, but the Norfolk commander who picked them up told me they were taking them straight home after the base hospital gave them all clear. It would be too long to come over. I just wish...Hell, I’m not even sure I could have restrained myself, and I don’t think he’d be all that thrilled if I kissed him._ **

**_Today just reminded me of something I’ve always known. I'm going to be in love with him for the rest of my life. There's no way out of that. That's just a physical law of the universe. And those you just have to accept._ **

_ What just happened?  _ He asked himself that regularly after reading this book. It wasn’t the first time she’d alluded to feelings or even the second time, or third, he wasn’t wholly oblivious, but this seemed different. It seemed more final. Gibbs had always suspected that there had been something else going on in MTAC, that she was fighting because her temper was up, and she looked so much like the woman he remembered that he had honestly just smiled about it. He never held it against her. Not when it happened and certainly not in the days after. Fornell had called him the following day to laugh about a certain Navy Commander that was sporting a broken nose after a visit to NCIS. Rumor had it a certain redhead might have been the cause.  _ So why didn’t you go and see her? _ He tried to remind himself when he caught the change in ink on the page. She made an addition after writing this entry too. 

**_Okay, six months is my limit. Leroy Jethro Gibbs is not allowed to have life-threatening cases unless six months have passed till the next one. Nearly drowning counts. I knew I was several steps behind, I tried hard to stay out of it, but I couldn’t. I know him. He was going to save that girl’s life, no matter what. I knew he would; I just wanted to make sure it wouldn’t cost him his own. I figured he wouldn’t want to talk about, the little I pressed I knew I shouldn’t have. He’s back at his desk; Ducky gave him the all-clear. Tony said that he seems to be waiting for me to say something. I’m not going to. I get it, Jethro, I do. I just wish you remember that there’s a family here now who needs you too._ **

“Jethro, did you want some coffee or…” her voice interrupted, and he bolted upright stuffing the notebook under his coat. 

“Jen!” 

“Yea, hi, I called twice down the stairs, but you didn’t answer,” she said as she came into the study. She’d changed into black pants and a zip-up polar fleece, her feet had soft-looking socks on them but otherwise were bare.  _ I was listening for the heels _ , he thought. He tried not to glance toward the notebook. 

“When did we get red evidence notebooks?” She asked. He cringed. 

“What?”

“The notebook, reviewing the case...when did we get red ones?” She repeated. 

“Oh, uh...McGee just brings them,” Gibbs hastily answered. “You said something about coffee?” 

“Yes, would you like some?” 

“Yes, thank you,” he said politely. She walked through to the kitchen, and he followed after tucking the journal back into his coat pocket. She gave him one of her giant mugs filled to the top and poured herself some. 

“Did you want me to set up the laptop in the study?” She asked. He thought about it and considered that some of the photos were of the study. 

“There an interior room?” 

“The living room faces the back too, but the only time I’m in there is to watch a movie, so I keep the blackout blinds down all the time, and I’m rarely in there.” 

“That will work.”

“I can hook the computer up to the tv,” she explained, going to get the equipment. 

“I’d forgotten how good at the tech stuff you were,” he said as she came into the room, and he helped her lay it out. 

“Not as good as McGee, not as good as the newer agents,” she complained. 

“McGee spends his entire life on one, it seems.”

“That’s what the future looks like, McGee’s a good agent,” Jenny remarked sitting on the couch next to him. 

“You say that as if I don’t know it.”

“Do you?” 

“Of course I do, Jen, I trained him,” he replied. She put her hand on her chin, looking at him. “What?” 

“You realize that means you’ll have trained two Directors,” she said. He looked at her with surprise. “Spoiler Alert.” 

“You think he’s going to be the Director someday?” 

“I don’t think. I know,” Jenny stated. “Just you wait, we’ll probably both be dead, but hey, it’ll happen.” 

“I taught him to avoid politics.” 

“No, you taught him how to avoid you and politics. Believe me; nothing was better for my diplomatic skills than working with you.” 

“And when those skills don’t get you what you want?” 

“Then I go to aggressive negotiations, which include but are not limited to calling favors of friends that outrank whoever I’m talking to,” Jenny explained. 

“Must be how you got all that Chimera information,” he said. 

“Those involved threats,” she said quietly, looking away. “We should try and get through some of these photos.” Subject closed and changed.  _ Jen _ , he sighed internally.

He looked up as she arranged the digital photograph files. Jenny opened the one they had been looking at before. Gibbs on her doorstep having her sign something before leaving for the Chimera. She disappeared back in, and the next set was her in her office on the phone. It then went to MTAC, where he could see her looking worried about something. He couldn’t see what was on the screen, but as he glanced at his side, he could see Jenny freeze. Gibbs took the remote from her hand and kept shifting forward, finding another of her in her office, someone leaning across the desk to talk with her. Then she was back in MTAC with the same guy standing next to her.  _ Commander Skinner, I presume _ . These photos were taken from the side and the front, but he couldn’t get an accurate angle until a light lit up her face. The shock she couldn’t hide. The next image had her standing toe to toe with the Commander, and the one following had him on the floor and her stepping away. Cynthia was in the next one, and then it was just Jenny, Jenny from behind, and Gibbs realized something was off in the photo. Jenny wasn’t standing up. She was on her knees on the floor, head bent. Suddenly there was a blur, and the next image had Abby next to Jenny on the floor, and the next two had her helping Jenny out of the room, something covering her right fist. Gibbs looked from Jenny to the screen and back. He’d just read this moment, but this...clearly she’d had some time to try and distance herself. These photos were her raw emotions, and something about that sent his blood to boil. The last image in the series was through Jen’s bedroom window, she curled up on her bed, something in her hand, her face blocked by the pillow. Suddenly the screen was black, and Jenny was standing on the far side of the room. 

“Jen,” he said tentatively. 

“I just...I need a minute,” she said, disappearing from the room. He got up to follow her, finding her in the study trying to hold the crystal decanter study as she poured herself a bourbon. Gibbs could see it ending badly and took the decanter and glass from her, pouring her one and handing it to her. He poured himself one too. 

“How hard did you hit him?” He asked after she had taken a sip. 

“I don’t remember hitting him, Abby said I had, brought me an ice pack. It was sore.” 

“Looks like you broke his nose.”    
“He deserved it.” 

“I’m sure he did,” Gibbs agreed. “The photos tell us something.” 

“He got me in MTAC alone and vulnerable,” she answered. 

“He was in MTAC during a top-secret mission, how many techs have that access?” 

“Three. Two work for NCIS, one Army CID. CID had been borrowing the room that morning until I commandeered it,” Jenny said, looking up at him. 

“Do you know their names?” 

“The NCIS team is Amy McElroy and Zach Walker; I don’t remember the Army CID, John, James, maybe?” 

“Where’s the burn phone you use to talk to Ziva?” He asked. She didn't even bother to hide it and pulled it out of the drawer handing it over. 

“Ziva, you and DiNozzo round-up Amy McElroy and Zach Walker and then check for the Army CID MTAC tech, the first name might be John or James,” Gibbs ordered after he heard Ziva pick up. 

“Gibbs, we’ve just met with John Glasse, Army CID, Jenny interviewed him for the missing girl Zoe back in 1997,” Ziva said. 

“That’s him,” Gibbs said. “Bring ‘em in.” He hung up and handed the phone back to her. 

“Got him?” She questioned. 

“They will,” Gibbs assured. He poured them both another bourbon and turned her back toward the living room. “We should finish the photos and double-check.” She nodded. He sat on the couch and pulled her down next to him, leaving much less space than the last time. Gibbs set her bourbon down and handed her the remote. 

“You’re lucky I like you, Jethro,” Jenny started reaching out to swipe her bourbon and hold the remote in her other hand. He grinned at her. 

“I know.” 

  
  
  
  
  



	17. When I say it's over

**When I say it's over**

**[I still want you to be mine]**

Gibbs tried to hide the smirk on his face as Jenny went through the rest of the photos. She stopped on one and flipped back to get to the beginning of the series. Gibbs recognized the red sweater she was wearing.  _ Maddie _ , he sighed. They hadn’t talked about that case, he half expected her to show up that night and read him the riot act but she never had. He knew since reading her journal that she wouldn’t. The set of images ended with her at her house, standing at her bedroom window before turning and getting undressed.

“I”m getting sick of this,” Jenny said. “I know I should be grateful that this isn’t plastered all over the media, but this is…” Gibbs put his hand over hers and set the bourbon glass down. She turned to meet his cobalt gaze. 

“We’re going to get him, Jen,” he said. “Ziva and Tony are taking the current suspects into custody now. They’ll call, and we’ll put them away.” 

“I want them destroyed.” 

“They’re evidence,” he reminded. Jenny nodded her head. 

“I don’t have to like it.” She kept flipping until it seemed she was back at the beginning and flipped backward just to make sure. The last one was of Jenny in her office with Gibbs leaning over her shoulder.  _ Carson _ , she thought. 

“This is from what four weeks ago?” Gibbs said with a guess. 

“Case with Carson, yes, about that,” she answered. Gibbs nodded to show he heard her but was processing something else.  _ The memory stick was recovered today; there should have been more photos _ . 

“Can you tell if it is at capacity?” 

“It’s not,” Jenny replied, checking something on the laptop. She noticed his furrowed brow and the classic Leroy Jethro Gibbs thinking face. “What is it?” 

“McGee recovered the memory stick today,” Gibbs pointed out. She nodded. “It’s not full.” Another nod. “We saw the camera this morning, so where are the photos from this morning?” 

“You think this was left for us to find,” Jenny reasoned. 

“These photos are at least one series every couple of weeks. He’s been keeping track of you for the better part of three years,” Gibbs explained. “So, where’s the rest of the photos?” 

“Something is bothering you about this,” Jenny said in a roundabout way of asking. 

“Yea, stalkers try to escalate. He’s had multiple opportunities, but there have been no notes, no attempts to place cameras in the house, no approaching you, he hasn’t even approached anyone in your life.” 

“Jethro, my entire life revolves around work,” Jenny told him. “As you know.” 

“Yea but he could have approached Ziva, she’s your friend as well.” 

“We don’t spend time together outside of work,” Jenny revealed. “I mean not for a while anyway; we’ve been trying to get back to it, Abby too. We spent time together when you were in Mexico, but this guy doesn’t have photos of that.” 

“The agents from your Europe cases…” he trailed off as she shook her head. 

“I’m the director now, not as much fun as I used to be, I guess,” she shrugged her shoulders. 

“You and Ducky used to spend time together,” he reminded. 

“I asked him along to be my escort so I could have someone to talk to who wasn’t going to hit on me the entire evening,” Jenny explained. 

“You haven’t had a relationship since you became the Director?” 

“When would I have the time, Jethro?” 

“Your lunch with Bob Sommers, the day you were kidnapped, Cynthia said you did it weekly,” Gibbs said. 

“Was actually lunch, he had been on my congressional committee when I was being vetted. He might have wanted more, but once I was Director, it wasn’t going to happen. There was too much media attention at that point for me to have a relationship. I never saw him out after that day, nothing like a kidnapping to make you realize who your friends are,” she laughed half-heartedly. 

“Todd.” 

“Who?”   
“You were on the phone with him when I came back from Mexico,” Gibbs reminded. 

“I didn’t date him either,” She snapped. He glared at her. “Don’t start. I maybe went to dinner with him twice, but then I introduced him to a college friend, they hit it off.” 

“So, your college friends?” 

“Have children and lives.” 

“Who was the last person you were in a relationship with?” Jenny stood up and turned to face him. 

“You do not want me to answer that,” she replied. “I’ll be in my study.” And with that, she left the room.  _ What just happened?  _ Gibbs sat a moment wondering just what she had revealed in that conversation, and he was admittedly surprised by the conclusions.  _ She hasn’t been in a relationship since she became the Director. Yet she had dates?  _ He got up and knocked on the half-closed study door, she didn’t respond, but he entered anyway, finding her sitting in the chair reading through a case report. 

“You’ve been on dates since you became Director,” Gibbs said. 

“Yes, but never more than twice with the same person, and it ceased after about a year of being Director,” she answered coldly. 

“Why?”

“Why? Because the people here are...all about politics. It’s all about alliances and who can get what. I have enough politics in my job; I don’t need it at home either.” 

“So don’t date a politician,” he teased. 

“I’m sure as hell not taking advice from you on this subject,” she warned. Gibbs couldn’t help the smirk.  _ I wouldn’t either _ . The burner phone rang, and Jenny grabbed it from her desk. “Shalom.” 

“Is Gibbs there?” 

“He is, it’s for you,” she handed him the phone across her desk, and he took it. 

“Ziva.” 

“We have John Glasse in custody. He has asked for a lawyer.” 

“Ziva, what is Rule 13,” he barked. 

“I know Gibbs, but he asked the second we put him in custody. He’s also asking to speak to Director Shepard. I could rattle him a little if you’d like.” 

“No, we’ll be there in an hour,” Gibbs informed, closing the phone. “He’s asking to speak to you.” 

“Goody,” she said sarcastically. “I’ll change.” 

“We’re leaving in ten,” he told her as she went past him. She disappeared up the stairs, and he sat down in the chair again, opening the notebook. He flipped to the next entry and then realized it was the last one in the book.  _ Better start coming up with ideas on how to get it back to her _ . He noticed her briefcase sitting there.  _ Solution _ .  _ But what can one entry hurt?  _

**_I thought I was pregnant in Serbia._ **

  
  


Gibbs closed the journal.  _ Damnit, Jen,  _ he did not need that thought in his head right now. Not when he could hear her coming down the steps. Yet, there was half a moment where he wondered if one day he wouldn’t find out about a little girl with her hair and his eyes, it was always a little girl. She came down the steps dressed in slacks and heeled boots with a sweater over it, more formal than the sweats she’d been wearing but comfortable for an interview. 

“You ready?” She called. 

“Yea,” he replied, getting up. Gibbs met her at the stairs helping her with her coat. “He’s going to try and get in your head,” Gibbs warned her. Jenny adjusted the collar on her jacket and grabbed her bag with one hand. Taking a breath, she placed one of her hands on his cheek. 

“I know he will,” Jenny told him. “Are you planning to join me?” 

“Not yet,” Gibbs said. “Ziva will.” 

“Good,” Jenny answered, half afraid what Gibbs’ response would be. The drive to NCIS was silent but heavy, filled with tension. As they approached the guard station, Jenny slipped on her sunglasses and looked over to the second station. “Jethro?”   
“Hm?”   
“Did Animal Control ever call you? About Abby’s apartment?” 

“No, but I didn’t check today,” he answered. “Why?” 

“The guard, on the end station, was one of the animal control people.” She felt him hit the brakes and slam the car into the park. He was out before she could say anything. She was out of the car right behind him, waving off one of the guards who recognized her. Gibbs had the young guard pinned, talking to his partner. 

“How’s the snake?” Gibbs hissed. 

“Sir,” the man said. The partner looked up, recognizing the woman behind Gibbs and then redirecting his attention. 

“Agent Gibbs, something wrong?” 

“Jimmy, you know that your guard here works extra shifts at Animal Control?” 

“No, Sir,” Jimmy answered. “Ben, you better tell Agent Gibbs what he wants to know.” 

“It’s just a few times,” Ben said. “A friend of mine at Army CID has me pick up shifts for him sometimes, gives me the pay. I’m trying to save a ring for my girl,” he explained. 

“I suggest you give Special Agent Gibbs a name,” Jenny said. 

“John Glasse, ma’am,” Ben replied. “He said he knew you.” 

“Jimmy, keep Ben here in custody until DiNozzo and McGee get over here,” Gibbs ordered. Jimmy nodded, taking Ben by the arm before Gibbs let go. Jenny turned back to the car to find Melvin and an SUV up by the guard station. 

“Ma’am,” Melvin greeted. He nodded to Gibbs. “Guards said you had an issue, Gibbs.”   
“Yea, thanks for coming out,” Gibbs responded. He opened the door and gestured for Jenny to get in the car. She got in and slid over, making room for him to get in. Gibbs was already on the phone. “DiNozzo get McGee and get out to the guard station, north entrance, got a friend of John Glasse here.” 

“On our way, Boss.” Gibbs hung up and glanced around, finding Melvin standing outside the driver door. Gibbs glanced inside and saw Jenny scrolling through her blackberry. 

“Don’t let her out of the building without someone,” Gibbs told Melvin. He nodded before smiling.   
“Should I let secret service know they won’t be needed tonight? That NCIS will pick up the detail?” Melvin inquired. Gibbs said nothing but got in the car and closed the door. Melvin chuckled before climbing in and driving the two into NCIS HQ. The two got out, Gibbs spotting McGee and DiNozzo leaving and Ziva waiting in the doorway. 

“Ziva,” Jenny greeted, seeing her friend. 

“Director,” she replied. “Gibbs, the lawyer, is being particular; his client will only speak to Director Shepard.” Gibbs nodded, heading into the building with Jenny on his heels and Ziva following. They dropped their coats at the desk and turned toward interrogation. Ziva was trying to hide a smile at how in unison they were. They stopped into observation to see. 

A man about fifty was in the room, dressed in an Army uniform, Jenny noted the insignias suggested he was a Major. The second man was dressed in a pressed suit, red tie, classic lawyer look. The way the two were talking suggested they were well known to each other. 

“I could turn on the sound,” Ziva suggested. Jenny smirked at her friend and watched as Gibbs gently tapped the back of her head. 

“He was in the room during the Chimera case,” Jenny said. 

“You recognize him.” 

“I do, he never spoke to me. There was something else...” She drifted off as if assessing her memories. 

“Jen?” 

“I can’t place it,” she shrugged her shoulders. Ziva looked over at Gibbs, waiting on his lead. 

“You okay to do this?” 

“Yes,” Jenny answered, looking at him. “Shall we Ziva?” The two women left the room and entered the interrogation room, knowing that Gibbs was watching. 

“Director Shepard,” the lawyer stood. “Evan Clark,” he introduced himself. 

“Mr. Clark, your client, is a suspect in over fifteen murders,” Jenny started sitting down as Ziva stood behind her. 

“Director, with all due respect, we were very clear that we would only speak to you,” Clark insisted. 

“Officer David is not an NCIS Agent,” Jenny said, lying. “She’s with Mossad, so I think what you should be asking yourself is why the Director of NCIS and the Second in Command of Mossad want to speak to your client.” 

Gibbs smirked through the glass as he watched the lawyer pale. Sometimes it was beneficial to use Ziva’s alternative credentials. He watched as the lawyer took a seat next to the client. 

“Major Glasse,” Jenny greeted. “Why do you think you’re here?” 

“An MTAC case, Ma’am,” he said. 

“No,” Ziva laughed. “NCIS has her own MTAC agents.” 

“Not as good,” Glasse answered. 

“I wouldn’t insult my agents to my face, Glasse,” Jenny said. “I take offense to it.” 

“Apologies, ma’am.” 

“In December 1997, you were interviewed about Zoe Owens,” Jenny began. “You were the last person to see her alive.” 

“She was missing ma’am.” 

“We found her body two days ago,” Ziva said.

“I’m sorry to hear that I didn’t know her very well.” 

“Didn’t know her well?” Ziva repeated. “Agents searched your home; we recovered photos suggesting you knew her very well.” Ziva opened a file and pulled out three photos, similar to the photos that Jenny knew he had taken of her. She kept her face blank though she was surprised Gibbs hadn’t said anything. Gibbs was behind the window clenching his fists and texting DiNozzo. What _ happened to regular updates? _

“We were involved,” Glasse said. “I got scared when she left, I thought it was her Dad, he had a terrible temper.” Something clicked in Jenny. 

“You're saying that a decorated Colonel abused his grown daughter?” Jenny asked. 

“It was verbal most of the time; he only hit her a couple of times,” Glasse explained. “She was scared of him; I thought she’d just run away.” 

“You never thought to look for her?” 

“I thought she would come back, and she did,” Glasse answered. Gibbs’ ears picked that up. He wasn’t talking about Zoe. 

“When did you see her?” Jenny pressed. “When you killed her?” 

“I didn’t kill her, she did it herself,” Glasse snapped, he seemed surprised that he had said it. 

“Zoe Owens was murdered,” Ziva stated, standing next to Jenny’s shoulder. 

“Brutally,” Jenny added. She heard the knock on the glass, and Ziva stepped back so the redhead could stand. “We’ll give you a minute to get your story straight.” The two women stepped out and, to no surprise, found Gibbs in the hall. 

“Any more photos?” Gibbs demanded not happy with being blindsided by that tidbit. 

“We found several memory cards, and Abby is running through the computers too. It’s slow going.” 

“Bring in more techs,” Gibbs said.

“We didn't think that was a good idea,” Ziva said quietly. 

“He wanted us to find the memory stick; he wanted us to see those particular photos,” Jenny reminded. “There’s more.” 

“Yes, we believe so. We’ve found several of the other women. Abby and I thought it might be a good idea for just us to be looking through them, given the content,” Ziva explained. 

“He said she came back,” Gibbs repeated. “Zoe was dead, likely within days of her going missing. She didn’t come back.” 

“No,” Jenny agreed. 

“You did.” 

“You’re still assuming I’m a target,” Jenny pointed out. 

“Director, we can conclude you are,” Ziva said. “He’s our guy, Gibbs. From what I can tell based on what he said, he thinks he’s saving them from their fathers who had tempers.” 

“Aside from Zoe, all their fathers killed themselves months before,” Gibbs reminded. 

“But Zoe was the first,” Ziva said. “He was depressed, clearly suffering from PTSD, tempers would be normal.” 

“Zoe was a trigger,” Gibbs said. He turned to Jenny. “Something came to you in the room.” 

“I can’t place it,” Jenny said. “It was like deja vu, but I have no idea where I could have met him before NCIS.” 

“Ziva, what’s the background on Glasse?” 

“He’s been at the Naval Yard since 1996, requested the transfer from the Pentagon where he was assigned to an international affairs office where he’d been assigned since 1994.”

“Who was in the office?” Jenny asked. 

“There was…” Ziva drifted off. 

“Ziva,” Gibbs snapped. 

“Right, there were several officers, a JAG officer on staff, and they reported to a Colonel who was the head of the division.” 

“Who was the Colonel?” Gibbs asked. 

“Jasper Shepard,” Ziva answered, looking at her friend. 

“My father,” Jenny replied, leaning against the wall. 

“Did you go to his office, Jenny?” 

“A few times,” she said. Jenny looked down the hall as if walking down a memory. “We argued once; I didn’t like the fact that he was inviting one of his business associates to the house.” 

“You were living in the townhouse?” 

“Yes, for the time, he’d been injured, and I didn’t want him to be alone. I’d finished my masters and was between jobs deciding about law school or medical school,” she explained. 

“Ziva, go back to Abby, go through the photos again, see if we can’t find something to tie him to these.” 

“Yes, Gibbs,” Ziva answered, leaving. 

“I thought you wanted Ziva to be in the room with me.” 

“That was before the dynamics changed. Zoe was a trigger. You’re the one he’s obsessed with,” Gibbs said. “I bet evidence will say that he was following them to protect them.” 

“From their dead fathers?” 

“Or that their fathers weren’t there to protect them.” 

“The other women were all single, successful women.” 

“Change the dynamic,” Jenny said, cluing in. “He has photographs that tell him I am single.” 

“All he has is photographs that said I left,” Gibbs reminded. He opened the door and let Jenny go in ahead of him and followed her. Jenny retook her seat and felt Jethro pass behind her, his hand trailing her neck. 

“John, you’ve got a problem,” Jenny began. “We have evidence that suggests you stalked several women, three of whom are dead.” 

“If you had any substantial evidence, my client wouldn’t be in here,” Clark tried to bluff. 

“I am all about slam dunks,” Gibbs said. “And even if we can’t get him on murder, I could arrest him here and now for stalking a federal agent.” 

“You wouldn’t let that evidence go to trial,” Clark bargained aware of the Director’s private nature. 

“I would,” Jenny replied. 

“Jen,” Gibbs warned. 

“It’s not your decision Jethro. It’s mine,” Jenny told him, looking over her shoulder. 

“It’s ours,” he snapped, keeping an eye on Glasse, and that seemed to put him over the edge. Glasse pulled on the cuffs sharply, causing the metal to clank, and Jenny immediately redirected her attention. 

“NO! No, you’re mine,” Glasse yelled. “They all were. They were all mine; their father’s abandoned them.” 

“Are you saying you killed Zoe Owens?” Gibbs asked.

“Yes, to protect her, and Gail and Marion, there were others, I tried to save them from life on the streets too,” Glasse said. Clark seemed surprised at this and backed away from his client. 

“Write it down,” Gibbs ordered, tossing a pen and pad on the table. 

“Fine, she’s not yours,” Glasse hissed. “I can prove it.” 

“Write it down,” Gibbs repeated, placing his hand on Jenny’s chair. She got up and left the room, Gibbs following. “Jen.” 

“Case closed,” she sighed. “I assume I can go to my office now?” 

“Jenny,” he tried again. 

“Fine, Abby’s lab, okay?” Gibbs nodded. 

“I can ask Melvin to take you home?”

“You going to tell him to stay too?” Gibbs said nothing. “I’ll wait. I assume you're going to be my detail.” 

“Unless you would prefer…” 

“Fine.” She turned toward the lab. Gibbs sighed. He entered the observation room and watched as the NCIS guard oversaw Glasse’s confession. He locked the door and sat down, grabbing the red book. 

  
  


**_I thought I was pregnant in Serbia. I wasn’t. I was relieved when I wasn’t. Undercover, unmarried, a lover who was also my partner, who had three ex-wives and no kids that I knew of. To young Jenny, it was a relief, to Jenny now it’s a what if. Tonight more than anything has shown me what I walked away from. I got that chance to have that redo on Zach. The things I said, I had the opportunity to say them with the understanding of someone who knew his past. I think he got that I understood. I hope he did. The quiet whispers of goodnight, the closeness, it’s what I missed out on for the last decade. Having a child around makes you rethink a lot, but it also makes you think about the future._ **

**_So I took a chance. I said something; I touched the forbidden subject. The answer I got was confusing but a no nonetheless. Maybe it was too soon. Maybe he didn’t actually break up with the Colonel when she left. Perhaps I didn’t make it clear to him. No, I didn’t think anything would happen that night, there was a child in the house. Maybe he thought I only wanted a night, which isn’t the case. I’d take whatever he was willing to offer, but I wanted more than one night, maybe he didn’t understand that._ **

**_Today though, I don’t know; there was something about the way he looked at me that told me he was confused. He keeps looking at me like he has something he wants to ask me, but he hasn’t said a word._ **

**_Perhaps it’s just over. Perhaps that’s it. I said goodbye, and he took me at my word. Perhaps that’s his goodbye._ **

**_Jethro never makes the same mistake twice, and that apparently includes women._ **

**_So perhaps I can be his friend. I can be his support and have his back and love him from afar. Perhaps when it’s time to leave again, I’ll just hand him this book. At least then he’ll know the truth._ **

**_I love you, Jethro._ **

Gibbs took a deep breath. When he’d first started reading this book, he’d just wanted to get inside her head. His partner could read him easily, and he would never let on, but sometimes she was trying. It didn’t help that he had a giant blinder on her and thought he had understood her, and then she’d left.  _ You got what you wanted, inside her head, _ his inner voice reminded him. He had, he realized. Gibbs tried to place himself in her shoes, young, ambitious, uncertain about where she stood with a man who rarely opened up, faced with her own demons.  _ Perhaps that was the point; neither of you was ready for what this could be _ , he thought, and that seemed to ring true. Had she stayed, he wasn’t sure what would have happened, maybe they would have worked, maybe they wouldn’t crash and burn with the number of secrets they were keeping.  _ But now, both our pasts are known, we know the worst of each other, but... _ and Gibbs considered this was the crux.  _ We sometimes bring out the best in each other _ . 

The problem he considered was the job. It was always the job. Neither one was going to give it up.  _ Yet no one knew you checked up on her, no one ever connected the two of us.  _ He was never going to enjoy rubber chicken dinners, and those were a part of her life. He was going to brood and work on his boat, but there were moments where she was equally at home sitting on the stool just watching and having a bourbon, and he could tolerate being protective detail and escort a couple of nights here and there. He thought back to one of her earlier entries.  _ We fight all the time _ ,  _ but that’s part of the attraction _ . They’d made up in the best of ways once upon a time; he wouldn’t mind trading those for the quiet acceptances and concessions they made now.  _ She’s going to ask about the past _ , and that more than anything made him pause. He thought it over and realized that for perhaps the first time, he wouldn’t mind sharing it with someone.  _ Only if she does the same,  _ and somehow he suspected that she might be willing to make that deal. With that realization, there was just one more thing to ask himself  _ what next?  _

His choice was taken for him as he heard a knock on the door simultaneously with his phone ringing. He looked at the caller id to find it was DiNozzo and opened the door seeing the young man with McGee by his side. 

“Oh, hi, Boss,” McGee greeted. 

“Interrogation over already, Boss?” DiNozzo asked. “Must be a record.” 

“Yea, now you better have something that’s going to make it stick,” Gibbs warned. 

“We do indeed, our friend Benny at the gate confessed,” DiNozzo gloated. 

“Said he planted the snake in the building to go through the pipes. Glasse told him he was doing a PI case on the side, wife cheating, wanted to get the shots,” McGee explained. “Ziva’s trying to find the photos to confirm the story.” 

“And?”

“And we got a warrant for a DNA sample too, we can compare to Glasse and Benny boy,” DiNozzo said. “Slam dunk.” 

“Get the sample. I’ll bring it to Abby.” 

“Also, Boss, Melvin said secret service is short staff, wanted to know if we could cover the protective detail,” McGee said quietly. 

“Yea, we’ll deal with it,” Gibbs agreed. “DiNozzo, sample now!” DiNozzo entered the room, flashing Clark the warrant and turning to Glasse, who held still for it. DiNozzo bagged and tagged it, bringing it out and handing it to Gibbs. “Case reports now!” 

The two younger men turned for the stairs as they watched Gibbs handle the elevator. 

“He didn’t actually tell us who’s on detail,” McGee reminded. 

“Think the Boss is volunteering,” DiNozzo said with a smirk. “Bets?” 

“Ask Ziva,” McGee said. 

\---

Jenny had taken thirty seconds in the elevator to compose herself and bring up her Director facade. She was glad the case was closed. She didn’t enjoy how close she’d come to be a target; this was a threat that was unknown and persistent. Something not even Jethro had picked up on. The idea that she wasn’t safe in her own home was sinking in, and she finally decided that perhaps it would be a good idea to have Melvin do a threat assessment.  _ Maybe ask Jethro to help _ , she considered for a moment.  _ That’s a whole other mess _ , she thought quietly. She guessed he was on the last entry in the journal, and she honestly didn’t know what was going to happen. It had been teasing and fun, but now she was vulnerable, and the closeness they’d been developing was hanging by a thread.  _ You have to leave it up to him _ , she told herself.  _ It’s his choice this time _ . And that sucked. She might be the resident Gibbs expert, but Jethro was different, and she honestly had no idea what he would do.  _ You liked his unpredictability _ . It was rare, but when Jethro decided to surprise her or do something out of character, it was usually a good thing for her. Her phone spooked her into flipping the elevator back on as she pulled it out. 

“Shepard.” 

“Where are you?” Gibbs asked.

“Elevator to Abby’s,” she answered honestly. He was silent; she figured he was timing it out and realized she should have already been there. “I didn’t make a detour. I just borrowed the conference room,” she said. 

“I’ll meet you there.” And he hung up. She took a breath as the doors opened on the lab floor, and she walked down the hall to see Ziva standing beside Abby in front of the computers. 

“Gibbs, we don’t have anything yet.” 

“Not Gibbs, Abs,” Jenny replied. “He’s on his way, so I’d work on it.” 

“Sorry, Jenny,” Ziva replied. “We’ve been focused on the other photos, hoping he documented kills.”

“Did he?” 

“Not that we’ve found. The ones we think are yours are there,” Abby said, pointing to a laptop. Jenny moved toward it and opened it, watching her face on the screen as she sifted through. “I don’t think..” 

“Abby, I need to know,” Jenny said flatly. The young Goth nodded. Ziva sighed but turned back to her files. “Your opposition is noted, Officer David.” The three worked silently, and Jenny found several more photos from sets she’d already seen as well as more recent photos. Including one from the other morning when she and Gibbs had sensed something outside her house. The way they stood was intimate, comfortable. The silence but for the tapping of keys was consuming until Abby’s gasp was timed with the sound of a caf-pow being set down on the table. 

“Abby?” Gibbs' voice cut in, and the other two women stopped what they were doing to look. 

“It’s one of the girls, he’s…” Abby simply turned her monitor, and Jenny felt sick as she saw a photo of Glasse with the dead girl, grinning and covered in her blood. The next picture showed Zoe standing next to a wood chipper with blood on the side of her head, looking scared. Jenny stamped down on her nausea and told herself that prison was too good for some people. Noticing the way Gibbs was clenching his fist, she could tell he was regretting not bringing in Glasse himself. He pressed the intercom on Abby’s phone. 

“McGee, get down here, DiNozzo, get them to transfer Glasse to lock up now,” he barked. Jenny didn’t have to have x-ray vision to know the two men were jumping to their assigned tasks, and she let out a sigh of relief that Glasse was going to be transferred before she, Ziva, or Gibbs got a hold of him. “What else, Abbs?” he asked more gently to the Goth. 

“Ziva and I can confirm he had photos of all the victims suggesting he was stalking them,” Abby explained. “We used facial recognition to separate the photos into files so we can double-check and confirm.” 

“Jen?” he asked. 

“There are more,” she answered, merely sitting back down to the laptop. He closed it, and she glared at him. Ziva watched as the two old partners seemed to have a silent conversation before Gibbs relented and moved his hand. 

“Ziva switch with Abby, you and DiNozzo go through those when he gets back. Abby, McGee will help you when he gets down here. We’re borrowing the laptop,” he said, picking it up and stepping back to let Jenny stand. He turned, heading out of the room, and she followed.  _ Clearly, he’s helping me _ . They passed McGee on the way who said nothing but nodded to Gibbs. The elevator was silent as it climbed back the floors to MTAC, she noticed. Instead of stopping at the door to her command center, he continued walking toward her office, and she followed. Cynthia was sitting at her desk and offered a greeting, which Jenny nodded to. 

“Director, when you have a minute,” the young woman continued. Jenny stopped and watched as Gibbs went into her office to sit on the couch. 

“Yes, Cynthia?” 

“SecNav would like a full report tomorrow morning. I canceled everything else; there was nothing pressing.” 

“Thank you, Cynthia.” 

“Melvin also told me to tell you he’s willing to reschedule his vacation as Secret Service would be the substitute, and he knows how much you don’t like that.” 

“Tell him no, we’ll use NCIS agents,” Jenny said. “He should go spend time with Jack. I have a feeling he already has that contingency plan,” she continued nodding toward the office. 

“If you’re sure,” Cynthia said with a smile. Jenny nodded and entered the office, closing the door. 

“You want to tell me what you and Melvin plotted for his vacation? Or are you still under the assumption I don’t know about those chats.” 

“My team will take the rotation, it’s seven days, and you have no public events,” he told her, not even glancing up from the laptop. Jenny sat down next to him and glanced at the screen. “I can do this.” 

“No, I need to know,” she told him gently. He handed her the laptop, and she did something, so the photos appeared on her screen, noting he’d closed the blinds in the office. Many were additional shots from the recent weeks. She saw the pictures from their snake adventure.

“I’ll have her continue to stay with McGee,” Gibbs said. They continued finding additional photos from the previous sets they’d already seen. Gibbs noticed there was one photo from them out at the museum and another at the ballet from last weekend. The previous picture he saw was Ziva leaving something on her doorstep before entering the house. “When was this?” 

“Day before the snake,” she answered. “Ziva and Abby came over; I didn’t realize Ziva left something on the porch.” Gibbs nodded because, on the one hand, he noticed there wasn’t a picture of him showing up and taking the said item, but on the other, he was sitting on her right side, and he swore for a second her eye twitched. “It wasn’t there the next morning when we left for Abby’s, so she must have gotten it.” 

“Ziva stayed the night?” 

“They both did, Abby wanted to reinstate our movie and sleepover nights,” Jenny replied, glancing at the photo again. She felt him freeze next to her and turned to find him staring at her with bright blue eyes and a look she didn’t quite understand. She arched an eyebrow as if to ask what. 

“You said you hadn’t dated anyone since becoming Director.” A nod was his response. “You said I didn’t want to know who you were last involved with.” Another nod. “You were Ziva’s partner.” 

And the most adorable heartfelt laugh erupted from her. She doubled over, she was laughing so hard, and he cringed. After a solid minute and a half, she finally wiped the tears from her eyes and was down to just giggles. His chagrin looks nearly set her off again before she gently placed her hand on his cheek to direct his eyes toward her. 

“Not that kind of partner, Jethro,” She replied, biting her lip to keep extra giggles from slipping. 

“I wouldn’t have judged,” he defended himself. She pulled the flash drive out and sealed it in an evidence bag before closing the laptop. Her giggles were still escaping. “You said sleepover.” 

“Slumber party?” she rephrased. “Watch a movie, complain to each other…” 

“Well, then who? You met Abby after you became Director.” 

“Abby?” 

“She’s had girlfriends,” Gibbs said. More giggles. 

“She’s a little young for me,” Jenny retorted and then paused. “And Jethro, considering your experience, I would think you would know they’re not my type.” He didn’t have a response to that; he couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t want him to know otherwise. 

“Do you have any work you need to do?” He asked, changing the subject. 

“No, Cynthia canceled everything. I have to brief SecNav tomorrow; I’m sure he’d prefer it in person. I’ll see if she can get him to come here,” Jenny said. He nodded. “I would honestly like to go home.” 

“Okay,” he replied, standing following Jenny out of the room. 

“Cynthia, drop this at the lab with Abby. I’m leaving for the day; you should go to,” Jenny told her assistant handing off the flash drive and laptop. Cynthia nodded as she watched Jenny leave with Gibbs on her heels. The two grabbed their coats from where they’d left them and found Melvin waiting in the bullpen. 

“We brought the car back in from the gate,” Melvin said, “It’s in the garage. If there’s anything else?”

“No, Melvin, enjoy your vacation,” Jenny replied. He and Gibbs shook hands, and Melvin gave a brief salute before turning to head to the back exit as Jenny followed Gibbs to the main entrance. The car ride was silent up until they pulled into the drive. Gibbs could tell the silence had changed from a comfortable silence to one with tension. Jenny was antsy. 

“Jen?”

“Hm?” 

“If you don’t want to stay here…”

“I’m staying. I just…”

“We’re going to do a full threat assessment in the coming days, and McGee will personally be overseeing the testing of the security system in the house.”

“And in the meantime?”

“I’m not leaving you alone,” he warned her. She nodded, getting out of the car and heading for the house. He followed her in and checked it over, finding her standing with her hands on the desk facing the back window. He could almost picture her leaning over it to talk to her father.  _ Speaking of, _ he thought noticing photos spread out on the desk. 

“His desk was right outside my father’s office. I passed it every time I went there. He delivered files to my father here, I answered the door once, when Dad was meeting with…” she trailed off.    
“Rene Benoit was the business associate you didn’t like,” Gibbs guessed. That didn’t require a response, in her opinion. “It would explain how Glasse knew about the townhouse, probably knew about the apartment as well,” he said. 

“Surprised he didn’t follow me to Europe.” 

“He couldn’t get transfer orders,” Gibbs revealed. “Ziva did some additional digging.” 

“I don’t think I ever said anything outside of hello and goodbye,” she said. “I don’t know what…”

“Jenny, this isn’t on you,” he told her. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” He poured them both a glass of bourbon, setting it down next to her glancing at the photos. She put them back into a pile, one of her father and her at an even sitting on top. She took them and moved them to a box before placing them in a cabinet. The door shutting seemed extra loud to him in the stillness of her study, as if they both closed the door on their past. The question was, what did the future door look like. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	18. When you see me walking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are at the end of this story...and still in lockdown. So, I guess I better get writing on something else.

**When you see me walking**

**[Sneak up and hug my waist from behind]**

  
  


They spent the evening quietly in the study drinking the bourbon and eating Chinese takeout they ordered. The companionship they shared was something they had both missed and seemed to both crave, which had become evident in the last week or so. He kept trying to figure out what he could ask her to switch the conversation, but he didn’t want it to be noticeable. He knew Glasse had rattled her. He knew she was feeling vulnerable, and he also knew she would never make as clear as opening as she had on her stairs weeks ago. He was going to have to bring it up. The grandfather clock in the hall chiming eleven had Jenny looking up and glancing at her wristwatch to double-check the time. 

“I should go to sleep,” she announced. “SecNav wants to meet at eight in the morning.”

“Nothing like a Saturday morning meeting,” Gibbs teased. 

“His son is home from school, and they have tickets to some game,” she explained. 

“And what is on your agenda?”

“Are you asking for a reason?” 

“Protection detail,” he reminded her. 

“Meet with SecNav, review files, get a start on next week,” she answered. 

“Let me rephrase that question,” Gibbs said. “What are you doing on your day off?” 

“Jethro, I’m the Director, days off are few and far between.” 

“You had one last weekend,” he reminded. 

“I suppose I could drag the files with me if you want to work on your boat so badly,” she sighed. 

“Basement is file free,” he lied. She snorted. “This weekend it is.” 

“And what do you think I should do?” 

“Let’s go out on the boat,” he suggested. Jenny sat straight up, staring at him with something akin to amazement. “What?” He seemed confused. 

“I’m not moving it out of the basement.” 

“Oh, I uh, finished one,” he said. “It’s in a small marina down in Chesapeake.” 

“You want to take me out on your boat,” she rephrased.    
“No, you want to get away from work, and a boat is a contained defensible position,” he explained with a smirk. 

“Fine.”

“Okay.”

“After we meet with SecNav.” 

“Yep.” She nodded and stood up, taking their plates toward the kitchen to clean up. He followed with the leftovers and made sure the room was put to right. He was tempted to snoop through her desk but heard her coming back in. 

“Guest room?” She asked, half expecting a retort about sharing, but he simply nodded. She was standing in the doorway and with him facing her and smiled.  _ Deja vu _ , she thought,  _ we’ve been here before. Carson, that night _ .  _ God, Jenny, don’t do something stupid.  _ “Good night, Jethro.” She made to turn away and felt him grab her wrist. 

“Jen, this isn’t on you,” he repeated his words from earlier, the cobalt eyes staring at her almost as if she could feel him searching her darkness for those particularly demons. “You should sleep soundly, knowing you got justice for them.” 

“When you do give pep talks, Jethro, you give pretty good ones,” she commented. He didn’t say anything but followed her to the steps checking out the side window by the door and double-checking the locks and alarm system before nodding to her. 

“I’ll check once more throughout the night,” he said. 

“Good night, Jethro.” 

“Good night, Jen,” he replied, heading back toward the study and listening to her steps on the stairs. She paused a moment on the landing. 

“Jethro?” 

“Hm?” He turned back to see her looking up the steps in thought. 

“To answer your question earlier, it was you.” She continued up the stairs, and moments later, he heard her door close.  _ What was me?  _ He thought back over their conversation and tried to consider what it was she hadn’t answered. He hung up his coat, the red journal slipping out of the pockets and into his hand.  _ The last relationship _ , he thought, glancing at the journal.  _ Me?  _ He knew she wouldn’t lie about something like that, but honestly, he found it hard to believe.  _ She’d had dates, she admitted to those, but I asked her about a relationship, involved with _ ...his thoughts trailed off as he tried to process that. He couldn’t help the smirk that crossed his face, that was an opening he wouldn’t ignore. 

He reviewed what he learned from this little red journal and felt confident that he had a better chance this time of getting through to her. He tore a page out of the back and grabbed the pen off her desk. He did write the rules; he would never tell the team that, but he had written them down at some point. Now, now he’d write a new set. He thought back over the last few weeks and smirked as one of their fights came to mind. 

_ “Director, I don’t appreciate you interfering in my investigations.” _

_ “We’ve been over this, suck it up,” she responded. He was utterly floored by this turn around in her attitude. Either she was on something, or he really didn’t understand her at all. “Now, what do you want from me?” _

_ “Operating instructions would be nice,” he muttered before clearing his throat and replying, “A signature.” _

_ “Well, I’ll see what I can do.” She held out her hand for the paper, and he turned it over. She read over it carefully, hiding her smirk as he fidgeted. She signed the form and turned it back to him. She then turned back to her work and watched as he got up to leave. He was just to the door when she called out. “And even if there were operating instructions, you would have to learn how to read first.”  _

**_The Manual aka Operating Instructions_ **

**_1) Call when she doesn’t_ **

**_2) Protection Detail_ **

**_3) If being ignored, give attention_ **

**_4) When she looks at you with doubt, Back yourself up_ **

**_5) If she walks away mad, follow._ **

**_6) When she starts cursing, kiss her._ **

**_7) Tell her she’s beautiful, particularly when not dressed up_ **

**_8) When she teases, make her laugh._ **

**_9) When she’s missing you, she’s hurting, cheer her up_ **

**_10) Maintain Eye Contact, Remember Emerald is a good color_ **

**_11) When she gives you a secret, protect it, refer to Rule 4_ **

**_12) When she pushes you away, don’t let her_ **

**_13) If she’s crying, tell her it will be okay, make it okay_ **

**_14) Don’t break her heart, if you do, ease the pain_ **

**_15) Believe her when she says she likes you_ **

**_16) If she says it’s over, go after her. (Probably should only apply to Jenny)_ **

He heard the clock chime midnight and folded the page, sliding it into the red journal.  _ Today _ , he thought _ , start. _ Gibbs headed up the stairs, rechecking the doors and windows, listening for a minute but not hearing anything from her door. He cracked the entrance to the guest bedroom and headed to bed. 

\---

Jenny heard her alarm chiming next to her head and swatted it off. _I really should sleep more; she_ considered peering at the numbers glowing on the clock. She heard steps on the stairs and sighed; no doubt, Jethro was already awake and making coffee. _Get up now, have coffee in the house before leaving to meet SecNav_ _or sleep for five more minutes, and not get coffee, decisions are difficult._ The coffee she decided was a requirement; she wouldn’t get through the meeting with SecNav; otherwise, that brought her to the next choice of the day. _What to wear?_ She looked in her closet and stamped her foot, _what do you wear to a meeting with your boss that is also appropriate to go out on a boat...jeans would be nice… or change…_ She finally decided on a lightweight dark green sweater with black jeans. She put on her heeled boots and grabbed a pair of flats for the boat. Her purse was downstairs, but she grabbed a small tote to stuff some extra layers and her flats in before grabbing a blazer and putting in some earrings. She grabbed the tote and headed down the stairs dropping the bag off with her purse. She could hear Jethro in the kitchen and came through the door to see him dressed in blue jeans with a button-down and blazer. 

“Good morning,” she greeted as he handed her a cup of coffee. 

“Morning, Jen,” he returned. Jenny watched as he finished his cup of coffee and checked his phone for messages. “Ziva’s going to come to the yard to stay while you’re meeting with SecNav,” he told her. 

“Tired of protection duty already?” She teased. 

“No,” he said thoughtfully, grabbing her arm and meeting her eyes. “I gotta get some things for later, Ziva has to finish a report and volunteered.” 

“I was teasing Jethro,” she replied. 

“Oh,” he nodded. “Are you going to want to come home first?” 

“No, I have a tote bag. I’ll leave the files in the office.” 

“Good.” He seemed delighted, but that tidbit. “Five minutes.” He walked out of the kitchen to check over the house. She smiled, at this rate they’d be early, SecNav always ran late, and she’d have ten minutes to talk to her friend. She finished her coffee and met him by the stairs grabbing her coat, purse, and tote. He helped her into the car, and they took off at his normal breakneck speed, arriving even earlier than Jen had anticipated. Luckily the morning gate activity was regular, and Jenny found Ziva waiting for them at her desk. 

“Good morning Gibbs, Jenny,” she greeted pleasantly. 

“Good morning, Ziva,” Jenny returned. 

“She doesn’t go anywhere without you,” Gibbs warned Ziva, who simply nodded. Jenny smirked; she knew what’s Ziva’s definition of protective detail was. “You sit in the meeting with her too, got it,” Gibbs added. 

“Jethro, really? SecNav is now a threat to my safety? Please, Ziva has work to do, I’m locked inside a government building filled with armed agents. Go,” She ordered. Gibbs turned and left, and Jenny breathed a sigh of relief. 

“So...how goes the other things?” Ziva inquired softly, standing to follow Jenny to her office. 

“I honestly have no idea,” Jenny replied, turning to her friend as they walked up the steps. Other agents coming down greeted her, and she returned before heading for her office. To her surprise, Cynthia was there. “Cynthia, you should be off!” 

“I honestly did forget something ma’am, but I’ll leave right after your meeting with SecNav if that’s alright.” 

“Of course, as soon as he comes in, feel free to leave,” Jenny agreed. The young woman nodded and watched as Ziva followed Jenny in, the door closing. 

“And?” 

“And what?” Jenny asked, taking off her coat and setting down her bags. 

“Has he tried to return it?” 

“Not that I noticed. I checked my purse, and it wasn’t there.” 

“I realize Abby, and I asked you about this, but you are aware you’ve left yourself quite vulnerable.” 

“After this case, I’m not sure how much more vulnerable I could be,” Jenny replied. “Over three years, Glasse watched me. I…” 

“Perhaps there is a gold lining, had you been involved, Glasse likely would have come after you sooner,” Ziva started. “Probably violently.” 

“Silver lining,” Jenny corrected, “And instead four women died.” 

“They likely would have died anyway, he had a ritual,” Ziva reminded. Jenny nodded. 

“I still…” she faded off, looking out the window. “He might not have been in my home, but…”   
“Gibbs is having us conduct a full threat assessment. I think he is concerned that we all missed it for so long, perhaps him more than anyone.” 

“I know,” Jenny sighed. “I’m waiting for that one.” 

“What?”

“Jethro, to have that fit, I thought it might happen last night, but I think he was too preoccupied with my stability to deal with his.” 

“If it will be anything like when you were kidnapped, you have my sympathy,” Ziva responded. “I think it was the first time I saw the man I profiled.” 

“You knew then, about everything,” Jenny said. 

“I did, so perhaps I understood it better than the rest of the team, but Ducky...It was Ducky who told me to let him take the shot,” Ziva said. “I never told him I’d been planning to all along.” 

Jenny nodded, redirecting her attention out the window. 

“The last entry...in the journal. I left it completely up to him,” She revealed. 

“Then what is the problem?” 

“I don’t know…”

“As someone who profiled you both, let me offer you some insight,” Ziva said, interrupting. “I did not see you two together right when you came back up until Tony was there as well. I can tell you that I did not expect either of you to come to work the morning after your kidnapping. If the explosion hadn’t…”

“It did, though.” 

“Fine, then when he came back, I don’t think he came back for the job, or at least it wasn’t the only reason.” 

“The team.” 

“Maybe,” Ziva conceded. “Don’t forget, after the explosion you were different too, you were hurting too, and I honestly think he didn’t know how to reach out to you. And then the Frog and…”

“I was too consumed to notice anything.” 

“Yes, but…” Ziva stopped for a minute. “As much as I disagreed with your decisions and the operation in general, I was still worried about you. You are my friend Jenny; I did occasionally drive by the house. The few times I did, you had company. I thought maybe he could reach you better. I regret that I did not try harder, that I let my anger get in the way.”

“Oh Ziva,” Jenny said, hugging her friend. “I never faulted you for that. I did miss you, but I wouldn’t have listened.” 

“Oh, I know, that,” Ziva agreed with a laugh. “Lately, you’ve been different. Maybe it’s knowing that you did what you set out to do, but you seem to come into your own as Director, and as Jenny.” 

“I have felt that way lately,” She replied. “I’ve also noticed how much life I let pass me all for a single-track focus that turned out to be...wrong.” The intercom beeped, and Cynthia’s voice cut through. 

“Director, SecNav is here.” 

“Send him in.” Ziva watched as Jenny refocused herself, and the Director facade fell into place. Ziva retreated in perfect Mossad training to the corner as Jenny turned to face her guest. 

“Jennifer,” Davenport greeted. 

“Sir,” she replied, “Please sit, drink?” 

“No, thank you, joining my boy later,” he returned, sitting across from Jenny. “I see your detail is taking things more seriously,” he noted Ziva’s presence. 

“24/7 until Glasse is secure.” 

“I have complained to the Secret Service that their short staffing is affecting the agency.” 

“I appreciate that Sir, but NCIS will make it work. The major case team could use a break.” 

“And the press doesn’t need to deal with Agent Gibbs.” 

“That too,” Jenny agreed with a smirk. 

“I understand this man has been killing for years, while still working at the Naval Yard?” 

“Yes Sir,” Jenny said as she began her briefing, keeping to the most relevant facts, trying not to draw attention to the connections such as her father. With the Frog still a recent memory, she didn’t want to go down that path. As she finished, Davenport nodded. 

“And Officer David, what do you conclude at this time?” 

“Special Agents Gibbs and I have concluded that the threat is minimal at this time, however until a full threat assessment can be done, Director Shepard will have an internal NCIS 24/7 detail of trusted staff members.”

“Your team,” Davenport assumed. 

“Yes Sir, Director Shepard and I have worked together in the past as you know,” Ziva said. “She and Agent Gibbs worked together as well. Agent Gibbs hand selects his team.” 

“Are you comfortable with this arrangement, Director?” Davenport inquired. 

“Yes,” she answered. “Melvin will return next week after his Annual Leave, and then there’ll be a fifth member to rotate with.”

“You will have protection at the house as well,” Davenport stated. Jenny began to say something, but he held up his hand. “I know you’ve waived it in the past, this is non-negotiable, or you’ll be relocated.” 

“I am aware,” Jenny replied, trying not to sound like a scolded child. “There will be an Agent at the house overnight as well.” 

“Good. I’d like Peter, my head of security, to review the threat assessment when it's completed.”

“Of course,” Jenny agreed. Davenport stood, and Jenny followed to show him out. Cynthia smiling at her desk, walked him the rest of the way, gently reminding Jenny of her next appointment.  _ Cynthia is the best at handling this; Jenny _ thought retreating into her office. 

“I noticed how you neglected to indicate where the Agent will be,” Ziva teased. 

“There is a guest bedroom,” Jenny reminded with half a glare. 

“Abby has been texting me; she’s insisting we visit her lair before you leave.”

“Is that allowed?” Jenny asked with a smirk. 

“Gibbs said he would call me when he was back, which he has not, and since her lab is in the building, I am not technically breaking a rule. Plus, Jenny’s Rule 1.” 

“I love that you took something I gave you like advice and made it a rule. Abby used it on me earlier this week.” 

“It is one of our favorites.” 

“Just as long as it stays between us.” 

Abby was waiting for them as the elevator opened, jumping forward to wrap Jenny in a bone-crushing hug, which led to a round of laughter. 

“It was about time!” The Goth exclaimed. “SecNav is long-winded.” 

“We were discussing security arrangements too,” Jenny protested. 

“I don’t understand why there’d be a question like Gibbs is going to let you out of his sight.” 

“Ahem,” Ziva reminded. 

“I mean outside of the building,” Abby laughed. “Obviously, the team is good enough inside the building.” 

“Here’s a thought, let’s not discuss protection detail for the next five minutes,” Jenny suggested. 

“Are we talking about the journal then? Is it back?” 

“No, and no,” Jenny replied. 

“Well, it’s Saturday, and with Gibbs there, it’s not like we’re having a movie night,” Abby whined. 

“Next weekend, I promise,” Jenny said. 

“We’ll hold you to that,” Ziva replied. “I will personally volunteer for the protective detail.” 

“You’re not staying at the office all day, are you?” Abby asked. Jenny smiled. 

“No, actually,” she responded. 

“And where are you off to?” Ziva inquired. 

“Need to know.” 

“We do,” Ziva assured with a smile as her phone rang. “David.”

“Fifteen minutes out.” She hung up. 

“Gibbs is fifteen out,” She said. “We wouldn’t want you to be late for the need to know.” Jenny laughed and headed toward the elevator finding that Abby was tagging along. The three women headed up to the bullpen, and Jenny collected her things, quickly changing her shoes and leaving the heeled boots under Ziva’s desk. 

“I trust you’ll take good care of them,” Jenny warned.

“They will go perfectly with my outfit for this evening,” Ziva assured. 

“And who are you going out with?” Jenny asked. 

“Abby, of course,” Ziva responded.

“Yep, just us.” 

“Abby, you need a refresher on being a better liar,” Jenny said, leaning against the desk. 

“We can wait downstairs if you're antsy,” Ziva said. 

“Is that on Gibbs’ protective detail plan?” 

“The garage is perfectly safe,” Abby agreed. “Right?” 

“It is Abby,” Jenny said comfortingly. “Let’s go; I’ll enjoy seeing him trying to argue this one.” 

“You need to come out with us more,” Abby laughed. “But, I suppose going out with Daddy is better.” 

“Don’t you start,” Jenny complained. “I assume you’ll both be distracting DiNozzo.” 

“Of course,” Ziva said. “He’ll be very distracted.” 

“Too much,” Jenny laughed. They stepped out of the elevator and looked around. Abby spotted his truck. 

“Guess even official vehicles are obvious,” Abby said, pointing it out. 

“I like the truck,” Jenny said as it pulled to a stop.

“I believe Tony had me listen to a song about activities in a pickup,” Ziva drawled. 

“I should be so lucky,” Jenny sighed. Abby’s giggles were infectious. 

\-- 

Gibbs cursed as he flew through the guard gate in the yard. It had taken longer than he thought to grab the box and note the journal had initially come in. He was going to slip it all to Ziva and have her repack it, but that plan was shot when he saw Jenny, Ziva, and Abby standing in the garage. He was going to head slap Ziva. It was going to happen.  _ Damn _ .  _ How to separate them.  _ He got out and walked over to them. 

“Ziva, we’re going to discuss your idea of protective detail,” Gibbs snapped. 

“No, Special Agent Gibbs, we will not,” Jenny answered in her Director tone. “The garage is perfectly safe, and Abby wanted an escort to her car.” Gibbs felt his jaw clench.  _ Strangle or Kiss _ ? 

“Please Gibbs,” Abby batted her eyes. Jenny bit her lip to try and prevent her laugh from getting out. Gibbs beckoned the three of them, allowing Abby to loop her arm through. He was parked next to her hearse. He helped Jenny into the truck first. His foresight to stick it in the bed of the truck was brilliant. He grabbed the package and letter and slipped the journal from his pocket, pushing it to Abby as he helped her into her car. 

“You and Ziva should be eternally grateful this didn’t get into the wrong hands,” Gibbs told them. Abby looked appropriately chastised, and Ziva’s face was blank, glancing over her shoulder at Jenny in the truck. 

“We um, thought she grabbed it,” Abby replied. “We didn’t read it, Gibbs.” 

“You better not have,” Gibbs warned. “Ziva.” 

“Did you?” She asked. 

“Put it back where you found it before she questions it,” Gibbs said, evading the question. 

“How long will we have?” 

“All day,” Gibbs muttered, turning back toward the truck. 

“And where are you taking, Mommy?” Abby asked loudly, drawing Jenny’s attention. 

“Need to know.” Abby laughed as Gibbs got in the truck, and it took off. 

“Where should we put it?” Abby asked. 

“I would normally say we should leave it on her bed, but I’m worried it’ll get in the way,” Ziva said. 

“Nightstand drawer,” Abby suggested. 

“Good plan. Let’s go break into the Director of NCIS’ house.”

“Good thing she gave us a key.” 

\----

A day out on the water was just what both of them needed. Jenny relaxed watching him, and he tried to teach her how to steer. There had been laughs, and easy conversation, and Jenny could almost forget the bombshell of the journal. She tried to block it and enjoy the day. Gibbs, on the other hand, had enjoyed getting to see Jenny instead of the Director.  _ This could be a regular thing, _ he told himself.  _ Just get to tonight and ask.  _ Tonight came soon as they pulled back up in front of her house, they'd picked up Italian take out for dinner. He checked the house as she set up the food in the kitchen for a change. 

“All clear,” he said, coming in to find her opening the dishes. 

“Want wine?” She asked. He nodded, and they sat down to a comfortable dinner. 

“What do you want to do tomorrow?” 

“Is this your way of saying you want to work on your boat?” She teased. 

“No,” he drawled. “But if you don’t have anything to do.” 

“I don’t mind, Jethro. You going to make me stay in the basement?” 

“I’ll even let you bring files if you want.” She chuckled and gave him a soft smile. 

“Thank you for making me take a break,” she said honestly. “I even get to go to sleep before ten.” 

“If you want,” Jethro replied. 

“Oh, I’m going to,” she laughed. “Good night, Jethro, thank you.” She leaned down and kissed his cheek before leaving. She made it up to her room, fully expecting him to follow, but he didn’t.  _ Well, you tried,  _ Jenny sighed. She closed the door to her room and noticed the drawer to her nightstand open slightly. She opened it and found the journal complete with a new note. 

**_Jenny,_ **

**_We weren’t sure where to put it back. Figured here was good._ **

She opened the notebook to find a page falling out. It was a list,  **_The Manual, aka Operating Instructions_ ** **.** She recognized the handwriting as Jethro’s and laughed quietly. He probably didn’t mean to have this returned with the book; she could return it. She’d just slip it into his jacket downstairs. Jenny walked down the steps again, surprised to find Jethro coming out of the study. 

“Everything okay?” He asked. 

“I forgot something in the study,” she tried hoping he would buy it. His eyebrow arch told her it wasn’t as successful as she’d hoped, but he let it go. He followed her into the study, and she mumbled a curse word under her breath. She went to sift through some things on her desk, hoping he would step away for a minute, and he finally did, seeming to go back to the kitchen. She sighed, grabbing a file for cover, and slipping the paper into his pocket, finding another piece there. She pulled it out. It was torn, but clearly from her journal. The bottom line caught her attention. 

**_Now I know. And now, I have evidence to bury, and this time, this time, Gibbs can’t protect me._ **

“Jen?” He called, and she felt the shiver run through her. He caught her red-handed. 

\----

Gibbs was surprised when she came downstairs. He didn’t quite believe that she forgot something but gave her a minute. When he walked back into the study to find her standing over his jacket with a torn piece of paper, he cursed under his breath. He had no way out of this one; she’d caught him red-handed.  _ Remember what she wrote.  _

“Jen?” He called and watched her shiver. She glanced at him as if trying to come up with a reason for why she was looking at what she was. “I found it.” 

“You found a ripped piece of paper with my handwriting on it,” she said. 

“No, I ripped it out of the journal, the red one,” he replied honestly. “It was before you told me. I thought I could…” he faded off. She slipped both pieces of paper back into the jacket pocket and then walked past him. He was utterly taken aback by her lack of response. “Jenny,” he called, stopping her and held her arm firmly but gently. 

“Did you read it?” 

“Yes.” 

“Good,” she replied. 

“Good?” He echoed. She shook her arm free. 

“You’re an idiot Leroy Jethro Gibbs,” she told him and turned to walk to the stairs. The words registered, and he laughed before slinging his arm around her waist and pulling her back towards him. He pressed his lips to hers before she could blink. He kissed her gently before pulling back and waiting for her eyes to meet his, the light green darkening to emerald. 

“I just need instructions, Jen,” he told her. “Rules, a code to live by, a law of the universe.” He kissed her again, and this time felt her return the kiss as her arms came around his neck. The kiss turned into several gentler kisses as they became re-acquainted with the other. 

END

  
  
  
  
  



End file.
